Hi folks, my peeps (I hate that term) and friends. This is not my normal blog. I blog on this site because it is therapeutic and keeps me sane. I love doing the research and making the jokes and quotes. I also like researching other peoples cooking
problems some of which I can answer off the top of my head and others I look up.
I do have one pet peeve. That’s the posts that remind me that today is national (fill in the blank) day. Quite frankly who cares? Not only that but you don’t include them all. So here it is from the National Day Calendar and other resources. Just
so you know my favorite day of the year is my grand-fathers birthday a day that has no other National Day association and I hereby proclaim February 29 National Grandpa John Cosentino Day.
So to save each one who feels compelled to post today is National &$#@#^ Day the trouble I will post them all at once for you and I will include the National Month Listing. Or at least all I could find. My comments are in ().
Being this a very large project I will post it week by week starting with August 10th.
August the month of:
Admit You’re Happy Month – (OK, OK I’m HAPPY! Are you happy now? Good. Now get off my back about it.)
Family Fun Month – (This could lead to larger families.)
National Catfish Month – (Only celebrated in the south with large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer, “pronounced PBR” in Texas they consume Lone Star Beer, pronounced LSB. Not to be confused with LSD but it has the same effect on Texans. I had LSB
analyzed by a lab, the report said it was made by Pabst, this figures, and that my horse would live but it had slight case of diabetes.)
National Eye Exam Month – (If you missed this message you probably needed one.)
National Golf Month – (You can tell its August because it is hard to get an appointment with your doctor or lawyer this month.)
Peach Month – (Big in Georgia, in Alaska it’s celebrated as Canned Peach Month.)
Romance Awareness Month – (Peak season for the makers of Viagra)
Water Quality Month – (Toledo didn’t get the memo.)
National Picnic Month – (For those who are out of work Yogi Bear is hiring. Apply at The Ranger Station, Jellystone Park, and Attn. BooBoo.)
National Lazy Day – (Don’t Bother with this one, it takes to much effort.)
National S’mores Day – (its plot by the National Confectioners Association to commit genocide against us diabetics, also supported by the manufacturers of insulin.)
National Presidential Joke Day – (A day when the president gets to make a joke. This should only happen like my grand-fathers birthday every four years only on January 20th the rest of the time he should be serious. January 20 is also the National Jokes
on Us Day)
National Son’s and Daughter’s Day- (Great idea, let’s re-enforce their narcissism.)
National Raspberry Bombe Day – (It’s a terrorist plot to improve their image and generate good will.)
National Middle Child’s Day – (Middle Child Syndrome is caused by the oldest child being the leader and the youngest being the baby of the family leaving the middle child without a role. I believe middle child has both roles, lead the “baby” and follow
the elder. Just fill your role… That of the middle child… Get over it.)
National Vinyl Record Day – (I have a bunch of these, if I just had something to play them on. Besides not holding my coffee cup well my disk drive on the computer will not play these either.)
National Filet Mignon Day – (Just what we need to celebrate a expensive piece of beef that has to be wrapped in a piece of pork to taste good. It’s a French concept.)
National Creamsicle Day – (No it doesn’t taste like chicken but go to a cocktail lounge and order a golden Cadillac, you will get the idea and have a lot more fun.)
(It’s an anomaly due to the International Date Line)
National V-J Day – (Victory over Japan. An interesting National Day in that both dates apply, since do to the time difference and the International Date Line, when it is Aug 14th in the U.S. it Aug 15th in Japan. Needless to say Americans around the
world celebrate, the Japanese not so much.)
National Relaxation Day – (I believe they choose the wrong day for this. It should be celebrated on Aug 9th so you can slow down and prepare for National Lazy Day on the 10th. Lazy day is like a hangover you have to prepare for it the day before.)
National Lemon Meringue Day – (Move to Aug 20, National Lemon Day. Kill one fruit with 2 or more kitchen appliances.)
Statehood Day in Hawaii – (Even the Hawaiians can’t figure out why they celebrate this.)
Bennington Battle day – (Where is Bennington and what were they fighting over anyway. Oh that’s right it’s in Vermont. I covered Vermont in a previous blog, I am sorry I missed this one. The battle was actually fought in New York. Who knew? Oh yes
they were fighting the Brits during the revolution.
National Tell A Joke Day – (You got to be kidding me. In humor timing is everything. My timing can’t possibly be off 364 days a year. No wonder I haven’t seen Robin Williams in a while, I’m setting my DVR.)
National Roller Coaster Day – (This is a day that has its ups and downs. Speaking of downs check out the next National Day.)
National Airborne Day – (This celebrates our airborne troops who in conflicts since WW2 have dropped in (no pun intended) and helped win our battles around the world. A good day. Yes I have jokes, but this day is about thanks and respect. Another time.)
Ferragosto – (Italian holiday see my blog on the subject)
Trust me there a lot more then I can list, research, or present but I think I covered the high points. Pick a day invite some friends over and celebrate.
Some menu recommendations.
National Airborne Day – MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat) as a tribute to these brave men, eat what they eat. And to really honor the WW2, Korean, and Vietnam vets get some K-Rations if you can find them, they can't be any worst now then when they were packed.)
National Relaxation Day/National Lazy Day – (MRE’s no messy kitchen or dirty dishes to clean.)
National Roller Coaster Day – (MRE’s hey if you are going to throw-up anyway why waste good food.)
Ferragosto – MRE’s (yes they make Italian) choose from Chicken Pasta, Pasta Fagioli, Spaghetti with Meat Sauce, Penne Pasta Marinara, Beef Ravioli in Meat Sauce, Pasta with Marinara Sauce or Cheese Tortellini with Tomato Sauce. Note: Don’t expect it to
taste like Grandma’s.
Statehood Day In Hawaii – Spam it’s the States unofficial meat (kind of) and its tasty break from MRE’s. There are 41 recipes for spam on AR, 5 are listed as Hawaiian. Let’s do the math 41 -5 = 36. I didn’t think there were 36 people outside of Hawaii
that eat spam let alone be proud enough to post a recipe for it in public. For those of you under 40 Spam is a canned pork product, trust me if you get this stuff in the inbox of your computer you have done something really wrong.
Recipe(s) of the day. Check out the spam recipes on AR. Sorry I can’t taste test for you as I am allergic to Spam and other things that taste bad.
Hint of the Day: Follow the above menu suggestions and you will reap the following benefits.
1. You will lose weight.
2. You will save money because your relatives will quit freeloading, friends
will turndown party and dinner invitations and your kids will leave
3. Your husband will think you finally learned to cook like his Mother.
Quotes of the Day:
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
I have a Portable Spam filter that I attach to the cart when I go grocery shopping.
MRE stands for "Meals Rejected by the Enemy."
Joke of the day: This blog post. For those of you that post Today is National (fill in the blank) Day. I was only kidding besides I needed a Segway into this post. Of course I support your efforts to remind people of good causes and special interests
and no way am I offended by your efforts nor would I want you to stop. Who knows I may have missed some.