3 Months into the Mission after the Hospital and Still a Long Way to go
Sep. 26, 2013 1:19 am
Updated: Sep. 30, 2013 1:36 am
It is now 3 months since my mother got out of the hospital after getting shingles in her eye, and we still have a long way to go to get back to where she was before the shingles and the UTI she got at the hospital. I think we finally beat the bowel incontinence,
but urinary incontinence is still a problem. Bed sheets are washed almost every day, and furniture has had to be shampooed a few times.
On the plus side, she is sleeping a bit less, is eating better, and her ability to walk and get up from a chair is very much improved. What is discouraging is that her mental capacity has slipped quite a bit from what it was before the hospital. There are times
that I don't see anything behind her eyes, if you know what I mean, but she does seem to have more times that she remembers things. Eating with silverware is still a problem unless she is eating ice cream, one of her favorites.
Mental exercises that used to be easy for her, she can't accomplish at all. I have been trying to reteach her things, but it is so hard to know how far back to go. Things so simple as how to recognize colors are difficult for her. How do you teach someone colors??
I am pretty good at teaching, but I am beginning to think that I don't know enough to help her. This is all so terribly frustrating. I think I could use some help so that I can help her more, but I don't know where to go. I have contacted a number of agencies
that deal with dementia, but they all believe that you have to deal with it and can't help it.
I feel so bad for her because she knows something is wrong, but don't know what it is. When she wets the bed, she cries because she feels bad that she did it, but she can't help it. She wants to get better, and really tries to do what I want her to do, but
she doesn't always remember or understand. I am trying to keep in mind that it took us 9 months to get the improvement that we did when she came here from the nursing home, and it has been only 3 months since her illness and the hospital stay. I really have
to stay positive and give her more time.
Through all of this, we are still very close. We have always understood each other, even without words. Now that she has aphasia and can't talk, I can still usually understand what she is trying to say. She tries so hard, and gets tears in her eyes when she
can't do something. Even though I tell her how much I love her and how proud I am of her, she knows when she wets her pants or can't do something, and it makes her cry. My heart is breaking for her. This is something that no person should ever have to experience.
It really scares me that my husband and I have no one to care for us if this should ever happen to us.
I will be 67 in a month, and, with this experience, the prospect of getting old is really beginning to scare me. Even though I am in good health, and plan to care for my mother to the end, what will happen to my husband and I when we can no longer care for
ourselves. This is really a scary thought!!