Friendship Bread But No Friends To Share With - Grandkids and Cooking are a natural go together. Blog at Allrecipes.com - 281416

Grandkids and Cooking are a natural go together.

Friendship bread but no friends to share with 
 
Aug. 8, 2012 6:01 pm 
Updated: Aug. 20, 2012 9:08 am
I made the friendship bread starter recipe here and planned to make the bread and share. Guess what? No friends to share it with. NO one wants to "share" with me. Back in the 80's a lot of my family were into this and it was fun getting together and making the recipes. I just realized a lot of those family members are gone now and so is the getting together and friendships. Grand children, nieces, nephews don't seem to be interested in getting together like we used to on Sat. or Sun. afternoons. WE miss those days. One of my children and her daughter live with me, are dependent on us as she doesn't have a job, son is so busy with his life, his daughter and fiance. Other family members don't seem to want to get together any more. My life is slipping through my fingers and I work, food demoes,  on the days that we might be able to get together. I am seriously considering stopping work so I can get my family back together again. I do like my job, but I love my family. What comes first? Finding a time to get family together is hard unless it is a wedding or a funeral. Not exactly what I had in mind at this time in my life. I don't really need the money on my job, just 2-4 days a month. Husband makes enough for us to live even with the burden of other family members here. People may think it wrong to not work but I think family is important also. How can I "share" my bread?
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Comments
Aug. 8, 2012 6:13 pm
It's not just you. I have noticed that people do not know how to be friends anymore. Everyone comes home from work, pulls into their garages and the doors go down, shutting out the world. After a hard day at work, everyone needs that once in a while, but we shouldn't forget how to connect with our neighbors. Technology has also kept people indoors watching television, surfing the net, etc. instead of interacting with others. I think it's a sad commentary on our times, but.....that's the way it seems to be these days. I remember getting and giving friendship bread starter, and now I don't think I can come up with enough people to share it with, either. :(
 
Aug. 8, 2012 6:17 pm
Hi, Ibbz! Working 2 to 4 days a month shouldn't hurt family time to any degree. Plus it gives that certain amount of extra spending money that everyone these days can surely use. Working outside the home is not an evil thing, and you can still create family times and memories working around that type of schedule. It also, I believe, instills a work ethic in the younger ones in the family to see everyone works and contributes. The dynamics of families and roles withing families are changing. Not everyone lives close by any longer, and in most cases, both spouses do have to work. That does mean time at home is precious. But planning a family get-together, if planned well enough ahead of time, still can happen. Get a date on the calendar 6 weeks ahead, and then everyone should have time to schedule around it. And if they don't, you know you tried! Remember you can't do it all, and the family has to WANT to get together to make it happen. But times have changed and this appears to be our new "normal" ~ with 2 people working in most families, and some working more than one job. I surely don't think your working 2 to 4 days a month should be something you give up. I also think you enjoy what you do, too, so that is a good thing!! Try planning 5 or 6 large family get togethers over the next year, and you may be surprised that people will come. Between working, keeping house, caring for a yard, doing paperwork and errands, and ferrying kids around, everyone is pretty busy. Take care, kiddo!!
 
ibbz 
Aug. 8, 2012 6:40 pm
Sugar you know exactly what I mean. So sad. The days I work, on Sat. and Sun. are the days people want to spend with their immediates. Honestly, I put up something last minute and get more responses rather than planned ahead.
 
Elle 
Aug. 8, 2012 6:53 pm
Perhaps when your children are a little older they'll appreciate the family time together more. Have you read the book, "Friendship Bread"? It is interesting. Not too realiztic in this day-no one would eat something from an unknown source-but still a fun read. Your library should have a copy or be able to get it from their state library system.
 
Aug. 8, 2012 6:58 pm
Everyone *is* very busy these days, that's true, but it's hard not feel hurt when they don't have time to get together. Even a few hours is enough to connect.
 
Aug. 8, 2012 7:03 pm
I have 680 friends, this is living, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUGmcb3mhLM
 
ibbz 
Aug. 8, 2012 7:23 pm
I just don't want to lose contact with my nieces, nephews, their offspring, other family members that I don't even know how they are connected! Is it too much to just have a cookout and ask people to show up. I have, and I guess I didn't post it on you tube or facebook or twitter because they didn't show up. I called each person and had to "leave a message" on their phones. I guess no one listens to those messages. So disappointed in these younger generations. They pretend they don't know you even tried to contact them, "oh, my phone didn't give me the message", yea, right. Fine, but don't whine when your children ask about other family members and you don't know any of them any more. So sad.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 8, 2012 7:27 pm
Elle, I worked in the library here for a few years. I'll take a look.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 8, 2012 7:28 pm
Sugar, I can't tell you the amount of times I have tried to contact family and said "We are having a get together, come on over, lots of food, fun and friends, everything provided".
 
ibbz 
Aug. 8, 2012 7:32 pm
King, I can't see the video, every time I try to watch a video my computer dies, sorry. Just another item on my "got to get another" list.
 
Aug. 9, 2012 5:02 am
Don't worry, they'll "remember" your name when someone graduates, gets married, has a baby, etc. and they want a gift. That's happened to me so many times that now I just throw the invitations away *without* responding to the RSVP and I hate doing that because I'm so manic about etiquette. I know it's petty, but if I'm not good for more than a gift..... I'm not on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube or any of those *very* public sites and don't want to be. Maybe it's a generational thing, but it doesn't excuse it or mean we have to like it! Wow, I kind of went off there, but that's a hot button topic for me. I'll stop now and say have a good day, make some friendship bread for you and eat a big slice for me :)
 
Aug. 9, 2012 7:47 am
I would love to share that bread with you!
 
LeAna 
Aug. 9, 2012 9:06 am
I hate to say that your statement is soooo true! We have some friends that just seem to be busier and busier with no time for getting together. I asked them if they wanted to get together for supper and they said that they had housework to do and stuff to do to get ready for the week ahead. Ok. No problem. Found out later that they actually do not like going out on the weekend and this is their down time to not think about anything or do anything at all! I don't know what to think. Our other friends are working jobs that occupy a lot of their time and they are very involved in sports and community things. So they are very busy. When they want to complain about how busy they are I tell them that it is their choice how busy they are. It is truly their choice how many extra projects and things they take on other than their jobs. It does frustrate me. I want to be involved in my community more as I am almost an empty nester, so I want to get to where I am busier with things I like to do. I truly enjoy cooking for other people. It is satifying and I don't have scads of leftovers that sit in my refrigerator glaring at me until they are eaten. I just can't get anyone interested in a free meal. Thanks for sharing your feelings. It makes me feel better to know I am not alone in this feeling unconnected and that people don't know how to be friends.
 
Aug. 9, 2012 10:08 am
I know what you mean. My uncle just died recently and I attended his funeral. While chatting with my cousin's wife, she wondered when she had last seen me. At my Mom's funeral 5 years ago. Sad isn't it when family can't make time. I think that might be why I enjoy the roundups so much, friends going the extra mile to get together.
 
Aug. 9, 2012 12:20 pm
It's a different lifestyle these days. Seems as tho families have twice as many obligations as before, and everything is done at a faster pace. Usually both parents work, kids are involved in regulated sports and school activites, there is no "free" time to just hang out. I suppose ours seemed the same to our parents. I know what you mean about the friendship bread, I think I still have a recipe for that somewhere. In my 30's we had made and passed the starters around. As you say now, I can't think of anyone I could give it to who would be interested.
 
Aug. 9, 2012 1:56 pm
ibbz it is a commercial where the girl states she has so many friends (680 of them) she states this is living. as she is setting at her computer her mom and dad are out actually having fun in real life. the newer generation is all about face-book this twitter that (I don't do either).
 
ibbz 
Aug. 9, 2012 5:20 pm
I remember now the commercial King. Most of my family members my age aren't really into computers and their children are and those children are off into things that we "aren't really into"? Hey I am not dead yet! My son is the lead singer in a local band that is coming up and venues are asking them to play and I am the official, unofficial photographer for the band. BTW they are called "FRANTiC" and have a web site, have a good group that follow them. WE have a good time, I am accepted into these times with no problem. I am "Mama Norris" to the band and the "groupies"! We have fun. I take pictures of what is happening and we all have fun. I feel more comfortable with these "kids" than I do with family right now. They ask nothing of me, we just have fun listening to the music. I ramble once again.
 
Aug. 9, 2012 6:13 pm
(!)
 
ibbz 
Aug. 9, 2012 6:52 pm
Bon, I am going to make your short rib recipe this weekend.
 
ruth marlin 
Aug. 9, 2012 8:21 pm
OK, so I am not ruth I can be " bell ringer", is that better? Thanks, bell comment: I also feel the family is falling apart, I feel it is the mother and father who generally make the effort to plan the get togethers. For me the kids do generally try to plan get togethers but they all have differing schedules. It is just not the same for only kid come the next week-end another one comes, but hey we get taken out to dinner a lot more. Ha I just remind them we are both over 80 and soon they won't have the inconvenience. It generally gets their attention. Love them all. Not to worry just accept what we can't change. Bell Ringer Sorry about your friendship bread, I I kept putting off baking it till I figured it had been in the freeser too long.
 
Aug. 10, 2012 5:07 am
I agree with Sugarnspice and others. Its not just you! Maybe try to share at church? or join a club,like a cooking club/group.The towns have classes,etc.Try going online and checking out the "Patch" forum,and the "American Towns". Very good sites,not difficult to do,and a bounty of community events,ideas.We all need to have friends! I know,I feel the same.My daughter lives only an hour or so away and she comes to our town with her husband and stays with friends,they go out and then they drive back to Duluth.I have tried at my work to get stuff going and all the people younger than 25 just want to go to bars,over 25 go home,and yes? probably close their garage doors.Maybe we can start our own group? Cheers!
 
Aug. 10, 2012 8:00 am
I had the same experience as Cat Hill so my family decided that we would meet for Sunday breakfast on the first Sunday of the month every month (about 15 years ago) Sometimes there are 30 and sometimes there are four.....it is always fun though!
 
Aug. 10, 2012 10:18 am
Ah I'm sorry to hear that. We had a big friendship bread circle at our church a couple years ago. It was so fun! You could share it with me, but I don't think it could last in the mail all the way from Wisconsin to Nebraska!:)
 
ibbz 
Aug. 10, 2012 6:41 pm
I guess I feel better in a way because others feel the same as I, but isn't it sad. I want to be more busy with friends and family but they aren't interested. I am really not a bad person, I have faults, but I would be a good friend. It would be nice to have someone to talk to about the everyday little things in each of our lives. I would listen and comment and hope my friend would also.
 
Katiejoy 
Aug. 11, 2012 6:15 am
I think it is now the quantity of friends rather than the quality of friendship that is important today... Everyone is busy-busy and staying in touch thru devices, but we have lost true personal contact. The Friendship Bread was one of those comforting, sweet sharings among friends. Although I am not old, most of my family(which was small to begin with) are gone... I feed my sourdough starter once a month and have found friends in very unlikely places. Just be open to new people, even though they may be radically different than you... I have been truly blessed with loving friends who are becoming family. A young wife who has never baked will soon be sharing my sourdough starter and maybe a new tradition will be established in her family. Just be open and accepting... I be I've our Lord always sends us who we need in our lives.
 
Aug. 11, 2012 6:35 am
Happy Birhtday Debbie!:)
 
Aug. 11, 2012 7:54 am
It sounds like you have a "family" in your son's band. If they (or anyone else) won't come to you, take the food to them. You still get the fun and fellowship...why do they have to come to you to make it special? Another poster mentioned being frustrated with a couple for refusing to get out on the weekends...we tend to do that too. We LIKE the quiet of weekends that are just us. I'd rather tell someone we are busy than to tell them we just don't want to be socializing all weekend.
 
gwenncolleen 
Aug. 11, 2012 8:47 am
Maybe (if you are the one who has time) you could bake the breads and share them with your family. Friendship bread is amazing and if your family is too busy they won't have time to be messing with it--but they sure will enjoy it as a baked gift. Keeping your job will allow you to continue blessing others with your gifts. You may decide to quit your job and your family will continue to be busy--so keep blessing them with your love, smiles, warm hugs and fresh baked, warm friendship bread. When they feel inspired they will ask you for a starter batch. :D
 
Jeanne 
Aug. 11, 2012 9:31 am
Hi! I know what you mean. I remember getting a starter mix for bread and in turn giving it to someone else. It was a lot of fun! Nowadays it's either too much time or too much money to bake. I try to get in as much baking as I can but my husband doesn't care too much for cakes and cookies and just about everyone else is watching their weight. I am on full disability now and I used to think (when I worked fulltime 40-50 hours a week) how great it would be not to work and have all that time to do baking and all the other hobbies. Now I have all the time but money is short. What to do? Wait until end of the month when my money comes in and try to squeeze as many hobbies in that I can afford. My youngest daughter is expecting their first child (my first grandchild) and so I do counted cross-stitch, crocheting and cardmaking to pass the time until the baby is born. I live in The Netherlands (lived in So. California until 1990) and don't have too many (take that back; none)friends that I can share my interests. Family is important but think it through before giving up your job. The kids have their own lives and friends and don't always have time for you. Please don't misunderstand what I mean.
 
LAMBIESGRAMMY 
Aug. 11, 2012 2:20 pm
ibbz, I think you're living out the future of our culture. People no longer know how to carry on a face to face conversation with another person. It's all texting and Facebook. I have a younger friend who is very eloquent in writing (e-mail, text) but is nearly tongue tied in person. The younger generation has become uncomfortable during personal encounters and seem to avoid them, with no ill-will intended. Can't do anything that makes us uncomfortable, can we? Our children, because of job transfers, are seperated from us by a continent. I understand your sense of loss by not being able to get together.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 11, 2012 3:04 pm
I appreciate all your comments and feel a little better that I am not alone in my feelings. Having moments that I can't express at times. My "best friend, left me years ago". I haven't been able to find someone else and it has been lonely, but I feel that here, just talking is a kind of friendship that I enjoy. I am very trusting, and as my kids say, gullible, I believe everything everyone says, so I believe your comments are true. I just get sad sometimes that I am not closer to family like we were when we were young. So, a lesson to you young people, keep in touch, don't let distance be a problem. Live, love, enjoy, share.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 11, 2012 3:07 pm
Jeanne, your first grand child is a miracle, at least in my eyes. A grand child opens your mind to tell you that you have changed gears, you are a woman, mother, grand mother. It is awesome and kind of overwhelming. Enjoy.
 
wifeofawelder 
Aug. 12, 2012 3:28 am
it is so true of families nowadays. i had a sister i had not seen in 12 years,we lost all contact. well when i did have the chance to see her, she was dying!! so really i found her to lose her :(!boy did that set in on the reality channel. i tried to point out to the rest of my family how important time is and that we needed to spend more time together. well that only lasted for a very short time. then on Easter of this year i lost a nephew (17) in a tragic car accident, again i pleaded with them of the value of families. we all live within 25 miles of each with exception of 1 and he live in NY, we all live in Va. to no avail have they payed me any attention, they are all soooo busy. so what do you do?
 
Jeanne 
Aug. 12, 2012 5:01 am
Hi Debbie, Yes, my first grandchild is a blessing and I can't wait for her (yes, it's a girl!) to be born! Very excited and nervous! Nervous that I will be a good grandmother and know what to do in emergencies and such. Finished my counted cross-stitch of a baby rattler and baby pacifier; all that's needed to finish it off is her name, date of birth and her weight. Next project is a few crocheted baby blankets. I also get to be at the baby's birth as I had 2 c-sections I've never actually felt that I had given birth if you know what I mean. Always felt a little left out when others talked about their giving birth experiences.
 
Nancy 
Aug. 12, 2012 7:30 am
My mother-in-law moved in with our family 6 months ago who has alzheimer's, but even with the daily struggles, she's the only one who really appreciates spending time watching the sunsets, clouds and stars at night. We've been going through her old home movies and it has been pretty cool to see what people did before cell phones. I watch family 20 years ago playing at the park, feeding the ducks...I'm as guilty as the rest, but now that I realize it, how do we crack the technology shell that everybody else has wrapped around them?
 
redhead 
Aug. 12, 2012 8:13 am
I live in WI and I am always looking for friendship bread! I would love to learn how to do the starter kits also. I've had it only a couple times and enjoyed it a lot. I cant seem to find any friends that know how to make it or do make it.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 12, 2012 12:28 pm
Jeanne, I was there for my daughter and daughter in law when they had their girls. BE PREPARED for anything is the only advice I can give you. It will be a thrilling experience, but also understand there is pain involved and you have to trust the medical people involved. It was really a beautiful experience that brought me to tears both times.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 12, 2012 12:31 pm
Oh, tell me about the technology age, I didn't even know my son was engaged until someone that I know that is on Facebook called me to congratulate me! Oh, and how about the friend that passed away and they put it on Facebook and someone called and asked me some questions and I had no idea!
 
ibbz 
Aug. 12, 2012 12:38 pm
Nancy, I hope you and your mother in law can handle the upcoming times. Good luck to you, take comfort in friends and enjoy your time with her.
 
SweetDee 
Aug. 12, 2012 12:50 pm
Family always comes first. Share your bread with neighbors or someone of that nature and share time with them they may lack also. They may yearn for family of the such. Just a thought.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 12, 2012 12:56 pm
SweetDee, I might just take the starter to a lady here in my neighborhood that has found out that she is expecting in 6 months. Her one daughter just graduated high school and the other is in 3rd grade. Her little girl and my grand daughter play a bit together. Maybe a budding friendship? Good thoughts.
 
Aug. 12, 2012 4:43 pm
It's a very sad world we live in now a day and a part of me grows so tired and wearnisome I wish I could run back in time. People do not want friendships anymore, they have a lack of desire to learn from one another and if you disagree with something they like, or want or believe in instead of appreicating different views they instead attack and claim they were being attacked. It is sickening. Just 6 years ago I had so many lunch dates with friends and people to do things with that sometimes to take a day off and have a breather was a real treat! not that I didn't love every moment with the woman I spent time with that befriended me. You could meet someone at teh grocery store and have a lunch date for the following week and a new friend was found. But not now a day. It is truly a very sad and lonely world now aday. BUT let me say this...though the world has turned hateful, cold and in my opinion for the most part arrogant there are still people out there that want friendships and would love to have your friendship bread. Personally, anyone that thinks it is wrong for you to stay at home has some jealousy issues at hand and personally I think it is terrific you get to stay at home! we are struggling to desperately since we moved here 4 years ago and even with my background I can't find a job at min. wage! So enjoy every moment of it. and as for those who would appreicate your friendship bread find an elderly community. They indeed generally speaking would love to have someone to tell the stories of thier past. To have someone to sit with over coffee and to take a walk with. Our elders don't seem to take much value in society from what I can tell anymore but in reality their lives are rich and full of wisdom and knoweldge and even though I'm far from being an elder myself I enjoy their company now aday over all other age groups. There are many of us that feel your pain and I for one sometimes just think it isn't worth the fight anymore and in many ways I guess I have given up. And I'm sure somehow this what I've written has "offened" someone but hopefully it will bring you some encourgement.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 12, 2012 5:03 pm
Rather, you did not offend me in any way with your words. I am hearing through you my own feelings. Yes, in days past it was easier to find friends but in these days when the person next to you in the movie theater will pull out guns and shoot people, yes it is getting harder but there are people out there, like you and me that want to be friends and share. WE just need to dig deeper to find the good ones, just like the fruit of the earth.
 
Aug. 13, 2012 6:22 am
:)
 
Lilcat 
Aug. 13, 2012 7:05 am
Freeze that Starter ibbz. Bring it to room temp and make the bread. I know - the point is not what to do with the starter. I too have tried to start regular family get togethers. I was told "it is a really dumb idea" and "When pray tell do you think we will have time to do this?!?" My mother read me the riot act for causing family strife. I. am. done.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 13, 2012 11:34 am
Freeze! Why didn't I think of that!? I'm sorry for your family troubles too.
 
ArmyMom101st 
Aug. 13, 2012 11:47 am
My son LOVES friendship bread. I made sure that when he came home on leave from Afghanistan I had plenty on hand for him! (He told me he wasn't going to have any friends because he wasn't sharing! lol) Anyway . . . I froze my starters and they work just fine. I take them out, bring them to room temperature and that is my day 1. They work just fine that way! Occasionally, I share my starters, but I almost always have one or two in my freezer!
 
Kp72 
Aug. 13, 2012 11:54 am
The starter will keep in the freezer, so you can make it when you feel like it and share it when someone seems worthy!
 
ibbz 
Aug. 13, 2012 1:07 pm
The people I offered it to are at least honest and say they would probably forget to make it so they decline to take it. Freezing is the way to go for me.
 
ingeakagigi 
Aug. 13, 2012 5:32 pm
ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE, IPADS AND UPADS AND WHATEVER PADS AND PHONES AND COMPUTERS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY. WHERE ARE WE GOING?
 
ingeakagigi 
Aug. 13, 2012 5:33 pm
ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE. IPADS, EPADS AND UPADS AND WHATEVER ELSE PADS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN FAMILY!
 
Kp72 
Aug. 14, 2012 9:20 am
Sorry for being repetitive! The earlier posts about freezing did not show up while I was reading this. Good luck with your starter ;o)
 
quallao 
Aug. 14, 2012 10:46 am
Ibbz...I live out in the middle of no where, so I know how difficult it is to find friends to share with. Since I love the friendship bread so much, what I do is make, make, make it between Thanksgiving and Christmas and then add loaves to baskets of goodies that I make. I find that this encourages my distant friends to keep in touch to find out if I have any more of "that really yummy bread". I then have lots of people to give starter kits to. You will be surprised how many "friends" you will find just among your neighbors when they taste the bread first! Good luck and it's a darn shame we don't live closer together!
 
ibbz 
Aug. 14, 2012 11:05 am
I've made some breads and freeze them to take to friends. My zucchini bread is asked for by a few relatives. I have one neighbor who is very picky and refuses everything. Another neighbor is gluten, wheat, soybean and something else intolerant. Now she is pregnant and can hardly eat anything she says without,,well, you know. Morning sickness all day. Her husband doesn't eat sandwiches. Wish I did live closer to friends on here who cook. It really seems not many people that I know cook any more. Sad. Easier to eat out some tell me, but with a big family like what we have, eating out doesn't happen much.
 
Aug. 14, 2012 11:55 am
So true ibbz. I walked to a neighbors house to deliver friendship bread after we moved in..and basically got the brush off. I've lived in my house over 20 years..and that 1 neighbor is still standoffish.~and I've never bothered again to go over there because of the way I was treated the first time.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 14, 2012 4:04 pm
Crazy, I totally understand. My next door neighbor bought the house last year, single woman. She had a man come in all last summer and totally remade. He was nice and accepted a dish of food but I did notice he put it in the trash. She has moved in and put the place up for sale! Anybody want to come and live next to me!? Cheap house in WI. Other neighbor across the street, is a condemned, next is a half way neighbor who says hi once or twice a year, another house is for sale, for 2 years now. I don't live in a good part of town, FYI.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 14, 2012 4:13 pm
Sometimes it is like the only time I hear about new things happening to the family is through "technology". It used to be the technology of making a phone call and actually talking to someone and having them respond because you don't know when you "text", "facebook", "twitter" or whatever.
 
jennayly 
Aug. 14, 2012 7:36 pm
I just finished making all the starts to my friendship bread myself. Everyone is to busy to squeeze a bag and feed it. Not that it so hard mind but there you have it.
 
Aug. 14, 2012 8:49 pm
i certainly understand your argument about not wanting to use technology, but by being adverse to technology, you're shutting out the younger generation who was brought up on technology. be a little more open-minded about getting involved with kids, grandkids and other relatives through social media outlets (feacebook, etc.). you don't have to reveal lods of information about yourself- simply set up a profile so that you join the site and be involved with those you love who use such sites as their means of keeping in touch. if you can't get them to connect with you "your way", try out "their way" and see what the results are. in addition, by joining these sites you may be able to find friends or interest groups in your area that focus on things you like to do, as it sounds like you're a little lonely and looking for someone to spend time with. i also understand what you mean about families growing apart, but that's just something that has happened. when i was young i remember huge family get togethers and it was really fun. but as an adult, i am busy with my life and while i do love my family, we have very different interests. i don't feel i should be forced to spend time with them simply because we have the same grandparents. i tend more toward people who share my interests. family should not be an obligation, but rather enjoyed. if family memebers would rather spend time with someone else, accept that and find others who appreciate what you have to offer.
 
Aug. 15, 2012 2:05 am
I agree with bakergirl, you have to meet them halfway. Start a very basic facebook account to talk to some of the younger family members. I think the internet is actually a great tool for meeting people both on the web and in real life, you just need to know how to use it.
 
Aug. 15, 2012 9:28 am
I'm not certain a Facebook account would be a good idea. I had a FB account at one time but it made me feel more isolated than ever from my 20-something family members. They didn't respond to my private messages of greeting. They posted things that I thought were imprudent to share in a public forum. The rift is deep between the generations. It might be a depressing experience, Facebook. I've found that, in my town, a good way to get to know people is by taking a cooking class at a local grocery store. You might find friends to share your starter, people who are interested in cooking, baking and food.
 
Buzzee 
Aug. 15, 2012 10:10 am
Friendship cake tore through our little town like a tornado a few months back. Everyone I knew was either growing or sharing it around. I received two batches and baked them up with apples and brought the cake into work and our book group. Like a ponzi scheme I wouldn't have been able to distribute it since I was at the end but it was fun. Hope you are able to share your cooking skills and friendship cake with your grandchildren.
 
Betty 
Aug. 15, 2012 3:04 pm
I think most of the problem here is a sign of the times. Young people don't want to have family get togethers much anymore. I have 2 grown sons who live far away from me (plane trips) and they had the nerve to take their children where they live! They don't understand my need to see them more and talk to them more. They think I should "get a life of my own." I told one son recently that it wouldn't matter how much of a life I have of "my own", my family is still 95% of my life! He said that is way too much! I grew up around my grandparents and my life was richer for it, but they don't feel this way. I'm getting older by the day and really don't have anyone to love and depend on! I could volunteer till the cows come home, but it wouldn't fill the void of an uncaring family. Anyone have any suggestions?
 
ibbz 
Aug. 15, 2012 5:31 pm
Wow,, ok, I must have said something I didn't mean to say because I am all into technology! I have a smartphone my son picked out for me, he works for US cellular. I text, video, pic send messages all over the world, pay my bills, check out restaurants, put up reviews, play some games, at least the girls do, Check on my credit cards, banking every day. I have apps for everything from how to pick a fresh veges to the newest movies and virals. My problem is sending a simple birthday or anniversary card, by "regular mail" instead of the instant version of which you really don't much thought into. You pick a picture, add a light note and that is the end. What about the person who is not so much into tech or has none at all. Do you care enough to make a call, send a card? Stop by just to say HI!. I don't know what else to say.
 
Aug. 15, 2012 6:34 pm
I still like to send out Birthday cards and Christmas cards,it makes me feel good doing so.Been doing it for 30 years,don't plan on stopping.Sure i like email,it does come in handy,put we like the personal touch.All the people here are pretty smart,it was wonderful reading all this learned alot.Thanks.
 
Aug. 15, 2012 7:18 pm
I love to send stuff in the snail mail, but I'm not as good as I used to be about it. I get annoyed when I email a relative and they don't answer. And I know they are online as they send jokes.
 
Pat C 
Aug. 15, 2012 9:00 pm
Thanks everyone for sharing. I understand the feeling about the friends and kids being distracted from what seems really important like family, connecting with people and just stopping to smell the roses. But everyone adding to this blog sounds like someone I would like to know better so, just try to think out of the box and make yourself available to people. One thing I have learned from talking to people (all day on the phone at work and having three kids with friends from all types of disfunctional families)that as buzy as people are or as distant as they may seem to be if you really listen they will share alot. Even in your isolation remember how lucky you are to be alive and then when your not expecting it someone will ask for your friendship bread.
 
Aug. 15, 2012 9:44 pm
Hi, yes people also don't cook or bake either...I live in an adult only community (55 and older). We do have a cooking, social club..but many members just come for the social aspect. I have acquantinces not friends and most eat out 2 or 3 times a day! they have gorgeous clean kitchens, mine is a working kitchen...we eat out 2 or 3 times a MONTH. I love to cook and now am a diabetic so it's hard. Lived in a lake community before retiring and we exchanged frienship bread starters and baked a lot. Love to start again and learned from you about freezing. How long can the starter be kept in the freezer?
 
Aug. 16, 2012 6:07 am
I HATE E-CARDS!!!!! Picking out a card for a special person at the store that is sppropriate for THAT PERSON is half the fun. The other half is hearing how much they liked getting it! We have all of the latest technology at our house, too, but other than occasional emails, I don't use it to stay in touch with people. I send notes, cards, make phone calls, or stop by in person. I'm sorry to disagree with those that said staying in touch via technology is the way to go these days. I just don't see it that way and prefer a more personal touch to the impersonal one of a computer. Look how many times things are taken out of context on the recipe exchange because expressions, intonation and nuance are not able to be seen or heard. I may be in the minority here, but I will never be convinced that computers and technology replace a loving human touch. Does anyone but me remember that science experiment they did years ago with baby monkeys? They had one baby held, cuddled and fed by a real mama monkey. It thrived, grew big and healthy and was playful. The second baby was fed by a bottle that was attached to a mannequin-like mother that did not hold the baby, cuddle it or interact with it in any way other than having a bottle strapped to its "body" that enabled the baby to eat. The second monkey failed to thrive and was small, weak and inactive. It's the same thing with human interactions. We need smiles, conversations in person, and LOTS of hugs! In fact, I wish I could give you a big hug in person right now, ibbz!
 
Aug. 16, 2012 6:08 am
*appropriate*
 
Aug. 16, 2012 11:57 am
Sugarnspice you are one smart cookie.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 16, 2012 5:03 pm
I appreciate all of the comments on this discussion. I know everyone has their own impression of technology and how it has affected everyone and the fact that people don't seem to interact physically as much as they used to. I like the "physical touch", I am old fashioned. I will still continue to ask friends and family if they want to come over or want to share my friendship bread. I will do better in sending "real birthday, holiday cards". I bought a card reminder from Hallmark. I am in the process of getting all friends and families birthdays, anniversaries written down in this so I don't forget. I remember some time ago that one of my nieces, who was in her late teens, thanked me for sending her a birthday card because except for her immediate family everybody forgot. She had no party. I thought that was something she will remember as a good thing in troubling times. Just a thought.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 16, 2012 6:23 pm
Sugar, I remember that monkey business thing. And have always tried to keep "in touch" with children when I have cared for them. I have hopefully nurtured many family relatives, young and old and always with a hug.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 16, 2012 6:27 pm
Ziporahs, I don't know how long it will keep in freezer. I guess I will find out the hard way?
 
ibbz 
Aug. 16, 2012 6:30 pm
midwestchef, I know, I lurk on my facebook. I ask and just like you, no one answers but they are there doing other things. Just like I said, make a phone call, send a letter.
 
ibbz 
Aug. 17, 2012 6:21 pm
kittycondo, I am a food demonstrator, maybe inviting family to something like that in my home, nothing to buy, just taste something interesting? I have to think about this!
 
 
 
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ibbz

Home Town
Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin, USA
Living In
Kenosha, Wisconsin, USA

Member Since
Apr. 2009

Cooking Level
Intermediate

Cooking Interests
Baking, Frying, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Italian, Southern, Kids, Quick & Easy

Hobbies
Gardening, Hiking/Camping, Camping, Walking, Fishing, Reading Books

Links
 
 
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About Me
My name is Deborah, please call me Debbie. I've been married for over 36 years to the same man. We have 2 children (girl and boy) and 2 grand daughters, one from each child. At the moment we have a gecko and a cat as housemates.
My favorite things to cook
I love cooking fried chicken in my cast iron pans. Any type of pasta dish is always a happy cooking time. I enjoy cooking fish and shrimp whenever possible. My family also enjoys my cornbread, biscuits, beans and greens, they eat almost every bite, so I know they like them.
My favorite family cooking traditions
Family insists that I make my "famous" potato salad for Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, actually any time is good for them.
My cooking triumphs
A castle cake w/moat for my grand daughter's 7th birthday made of Rice Krispies, frosting and a ton of toppings. It stood over a foot tall with the towers on top. She loved it, that is what matters to me.
My cooking tragedies
I tried making "meat muffins" and the fat from the ground pork overflowed the muffin tin, dripped on stove and caught fire, which in turn caught the meat on fire, which in turn caught the towel that I was holding while trying to get the pan out of the oven on fire, which in turn caught my pants on fire when I dropped it, which in turn burned my hand and arm when I tried to retrieve it, then I had to pay the landlord extra for the burned spot on the tile in the kitchen. I don't make meat muffins any more.
 
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