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GIVE THEM FOOD...and other ways to cope with life

MY HEART JUST WALKED OUT THE DOOR 
 
Jan. 4, 2010 9:02 am 
Updated: Jan. 19, 2010 4:07 pm
The kids left to go back to college yesterday...it's been a great holiday season with everyone home.  It's just hard to adjust to the quiet.  Yes, it is nice not to trip over 14 pairs of shoes and purses and jackets when I come in the door.  Yes, it is nice not so havedirty dishes in my kitchen sink  that never seem to disappear .  Yes it is nice to know that the water bill will be substantially lower this month...but ....I will miss them. 

This part of life is so unsettled in so many ways.  They're off at school and yet are not totally launched into their own lives....their in , their out....just long enough for us to talk to them and worry about what they will do with the rest of their lives.  They have a plan...sort of...oh wait, now that plan has changed.  They want to be out in the working world tomorrow, no, they want to do a Master's program...no wait, they want to travel the world and live with  in a Yurt .  And who will they marry...another burning question of every mother this side of 50.  I just pray that God will bring someone stable into their lives...not the girl who wants to be a professional macramaer or the boy who won't find himself until he's 45.   Sigh...so many worries for a momma.

I know life wasn't easy when they were toddlers but deciding on whether to give them Kraft dinner or Chicken nuggets just wasn't the same as the life altering decisions that lie before them now.
I think we parents of college age kids just want to know one thing...will they be OK in life...have I done a good enough job with them to enable them to function successfully out in that big world.  Sometimes, I just want to skip ahead 10 years to see that they all have descent jobs and good spouses and are happy, but then I realize that that would be sad.  They have many good things and many challenging things to yet face that will be the tools in the potter's hand to mold them into who they were intended to be.  This momma just better take a deep breath and let God take them where they need to go.

I sent them out the door with AR Blueberry Lemon Loaf...delicious!
 
 
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Comments
Luvs2Bake but no PRO 
Jan. 4, 2010 10:09 am
You summed up my exact feelings. Thanks for reminding me to let God take them where they need to go because as they walked out the door this New Year it was really tugging at my heart. Love your blogs!!!!
 
cocojo 
Jan. 4, 2010 2:49 pm
Thanks Luvs...so many of my friends are reporting similar days!
 
Avon- status quo PRO 
Jan. 7, 2010 10:48 am
oooohhhh........same here.....I know I've shared this with you before but for me I have a 25, (next month)24, 19 & 15 year old. I still have some control over the younger one, but I know exactly what you are saying about the other 3. Only difference is, I'm just on the other side of 50 (barely). I so feel your pain because it's mine too.
 
cocojo 
Jan. 7, 2010 3:53 pm
Avon...I have a 24 year old back at home..so that gives me someone to cook for..besides my hubby that is..the other 2 are at college but it's only 1.5 hrs away so they come home sometimes.Having a new puppy has helped...that mothering thing just doesn't go away!....are your older kids still at home?
 
goodfood4ursoul 
Jan. 8, 2010 8:30 am
Someone told me that now is the time to parent in the Spirit (meaning pray, pray, pray for them) because the time to parent in the flesh is over. DD came home with an engagement ring on 1/1/10 and I am beginning to adjust to that. Love the son-in-law to be, but not sure his future wife is prepared for marriage/the real adult world or will be by summer 2011. *sigh* Must teach new son-in-law-to-be to try new foods- he does not eat veggies!!! =0
 
cocojo 
Jan. 9, 2010 9:08 am
goodfood...wise words, i like them, thanks. Sometimes i wonder because I was 32 when I had my first child, if I have forgotten how truly young 20 is...so idealistic, so romantic...so not prepared for life and marriage and yet, somehow millions have made it work...they'll learn together and we'll just have to be patient!...Lord help us. Good luck with the veggies!
 
EdibleArt 
Jan. 10, 2010 5:57 pm
goodfood...I love that, parent in the spirit. I have five children. Three have left the nest. Sometimes I feel helpless. My second son who is 21, is in the army. He made it home from Iraq for the holidays. Thank God. But...he left yesterday to go back to his base. Its hard, I remember my baby boy. He was quick to remind me he is a man. I respect that. Its wonderful to know that we have God and prayer.
 
mary 
Jan. 13, 2010 8:50 pm
Ahh, I remember those college days. My son was about 4 hours away, on a good day, while at college and my daughter was 1 1/2 hours away. They grew up so fast and became so independent. They didn't miss me as much as I missed them. I remember those empty nest feelings every time they came home and every time they left. They both made it home for the holidays but not at the same time. Believe it or not, I still get the empty nest feeling after they are gone. My son lives about 1 1/2 hours away but my daughter lives 6 1/2 hours away. It is hard, but you have to have faith that what you taught them when they were young will help them through their life's journey. I'm very proud of my two as I know you are of yours. And yes, once a mother always a mother. I have 3 dogs and 3 cats who need mothering. My daughter often teases me about missing her so much that I had to get more animals to take care of. Maybe she is right, lol. Take care cocojo.
 
cocojo 
Jan. 17, 2010 3:23 am
Thabnks Mary..I can feel the love you have for your kids in your writing. Getting use to them not needing you so much is not in the mommy manual is it? I e feel it more with my daughter..but she's th last one to leave. I just can't believe how much more independant she has become in the second semester. And yes, funny, we just got a new puppy.
 
Mother Ann 
Jan. 19, 2010 4:07 pm
Excellent blog! My daughter has graduated from college and is now a teacher and married - but she's only 15 minutes away. I feel things are going in the right direction for her. Then there's my son -he's 20 (almost 21 and reminds me of that every chance he can!). He's an hour from home and doesn't get to come home much. He's an athlete and also involved in a fraternity and president of a hunting/sportsman club. When he does come home it is wonderful - yes - even though he brings me 3 bags of laundry! Then, when he leaves it breaks my heart - I know I'll miss him so. He speaks of his independence often, yet I get comfort in the fact he calls or texts either me or dad almost every day. I really did enjoy your blog - I could feel exactly how you feel! Thank you.
 
 
 
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cocojo

Member Since
May 2009

Cooking Level
Professional

Cooking Interests
Baking, Stir Frying, Italian, Mediterranean, Healthy, Vegetarian, Dessert, Quick & Easy, Gourmet

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Gardening, Reading Books, Music, Painting/Drawing, Charity Work

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About Me
Loving life at 50ish. Kids are gone and I'm focusing on my career! I enjoyed running a chocolate truffle business for 3 years and now teach adults and children about chocolate. I also teach hands on cooking classes at a local cooking school and am writing my first cookbook! Please visit me at my blog www.allrecipes.com/cook/givethemfood
My favorite things to cook
I love to cook almost anything but particularly enjoy Italian. I have been studying Vegetarian and Vegan cooking for the last few years and love to make healthy meals.
My favorite family cooking traditions
from scratch cinnamon buns on Christmas morning...they take forever but Oh! so worth it!
My cooking triumphs
landing my dream job as a teaching chef.
My cooking tragedies
when I was teaching myself to cook way back in college, I made these wonderful oatmeal raisin cookies for my roomies....only problem was I forgot the flour! The cookies became one big mass that overflowed the cookie sheet and made a huge mess in the oven!
 
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