A Time To Weep And A Time To Laugh - GIVE THEM FOOD...and other ways to cope with life Blog at Allrecipes.com - 120800

GIVE THEM FOOD...and other ways to cope with life

Aug. 26, 2009 9:57 am 
Updated: Aug. 31, 2009 6:17 pm
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;

A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

A time to thughrow away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;

A time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I haven't posted for a few days because we have been dealing with the knowledge that my Dad has only a short time left with us.  He has liver cancer and although we have had him much longer than we originally were told, the latest cat scan showed that most of his liver has now been taken over.  I am 8 hours away so this has been difficult.
I know many of you have already lost a parent and know that nothing prepares you for how this feels.  It is our "time to weep and our time to mourn"  but hopefully soon it will be our "time to laugh and time to dance."  My Dad loves ice cream so in his honor I am going to go and make some strawberry sauce to serve with ice cream tonight.

4-5 cups of frozen strawberries
1 cup confection sugar
1/4 lb butter
1 tsp vanilla

Combine and heat on stove until melted, then puree.
Serve over vanilla ice cream.

Enjoy some soon and when you do, send up a little prayer or thought for John-a man of integrity, kindness, gentleness and humor who has been a wonderful father to myself, my sister and my brother.

Aug. 26, 2009 11:19 am
I'm very sorry Cocojo. I lost my mom 23 years ago and nothing can prepare you for it. My thoughts are with you.
Aug. 26, 2009 1:20 pm
So sorry for what you're going through. Expected or unexpected, it's difficult to lose a loved one. Will keep you in my thoughts!
Aug. 26, 2009 2:31 pm
My heart goes out to you Cocojo. Thanks for blessing us with a great recipe even when you are grieving.
Aug. 27, 2009 7:24 am
I'm so sorry to hear this Cocojo. I lost my father suddenly 16 years ago at the age of 16. It is very difficult, and doesn't seem real. You and your family are in my thoughts. Think of all the wonderful happy moments you and your father shared so far, and try and enjoy the time that's left. You are all in my prayers---Cyndi
Aug. 27, 2009 7:55 am
That's a loving, thoughtful poem to share with us at this difficult time. I thinks it's great to honor him using your cooking abilities. My thoughts are with you and your family and I will keep you in my meditations. My heart goes out to you. Go and spend as much time with him as possible, hold his hand, and speak gently & quietly to him no matter what his condition. You'll never regret it.
Aug. 27, 2009 12:57 pm
I am deeply moved at the sincere comments left here. Thank you all so much, Bless you all jo
Aug. 27, 2009 6:14 pm
My heart goes out to you and your family, we lost our mom in Dec 2006 after her battle with cancer. Even knowing doesn't make it easier...God bless you
Aug. 27, 2009 6:28 pm
God bless you. Take good care of yourself and your family in this difficult time.
Aug. 27, 2009 7:29 pm
I know the sorrow of loss and I am also facing my father's mortality. Prayers that you find peace on the path you must follow.
Aug. 27, 2009 8:16 pm
Losing a parent is difficult. Cook to your heart's content. Do whatever makes you happy. Tell those whom you love that you love them because you can.
Aug. 27, 2009 8:26 pm
Jo, thank you for sharing your thoughts, and your recipe with us! I will pray for you and your family to have peace during this difficult time. As others have said, whether sudden or expected, losing a parent is life-changing. Ecclesiastes is one of my favorite books of Scripture, and the Psalms also offer much comfort. May the Lord pour out His love to you all. ♥
Aug. 27, 2009 8:35 pm
Cocojo, I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and have also lost family members and dear friends from this horrible disease. I know not what's in store for me as yet, but I know that all I would want for my children and grandchildren is for them to be able to hear me say "I love you". I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless all of you.
Aug. 28, 2009 3:27 am
Dear Everyone, Words alone will not help but I know that God loves and cares for every single one of us and we are never, ever separated from those we love. Hold your Dad in your heart, make your lovely strawberry dessert and make a toast to his passing, peacefully to a new and splendid mansion in heaven. He will see you, I know and be smiling and waiting until you are all gathered together again in your new, forever beautiful, peaceful home. with love to all, Bev
Aug. 28, 2009 4:57 am
There are still moments to make memories. Cherish the time you have left together. I wish John, you and the rest of your family joy.
Aug. 28, 2009 5:03 am
I am holding you up in prayer cocojo. I lost my dad suddenly 9 years ago and understand what this means. Everyone here has said it well. We grieve with you.
Aug. 28, 2009 5:29 am
Take care and know you are in our prayers.
Aug. 28, 2009 5:38 am
what wonderful sentiments. God bless your father and prepare you for your next season of life. J
Aug. 28, 2009 6:32 am
Thanks for sharing the beautiful scripture. Enjoy your dad while he's with you and be grateful that God gave you a wonderful father. It's not easy to say good-bye to our parents, but as believers, we look forward to our reunion at a later time. I will pray for you and your sweet dad. God bless you.
Aug. 28, 2009 7:04 am
so very sorry. may you and all involved find peace...esp. your father. best wishes.
Aug. 28, 2009 7:39 am
You are in my heart and prayers. You have a great number of supporters here and we all are with you in our thoughts. I have lost so so many that I now speak with reverence when I say this....."things get better with time". Keep us updated on you and yours. With much love and thoughts of the greater glory. Cindy
Mel K 
Aug. 28, 2009 8:13 am
Cocojo, I logged in today and read your blog about your Dad. My heart aches for you and my prayers are with you and your family.I know it is very difficult for you to live 8 hrs away and I pray that you are able to be with your Dad at this time. I pray that you will be able to be with him to hold his hand, talk with him and hopefully spend precious together. My Dad took great comfort in having me read to him and it was indeed my honor to pick up his Bible and read his favorite verses while he was in his final days. A painful time that you have ahead of you.... a road that we all have to travel. My prayers for you and your family members as you face each day. It makes me feel good to know that you are finding comfort in the words of Ecclesiastes. The verses are so beautiful and are wonderful to meditate upon. Special prayers for John and for the wonderful person that he is and for being a great Dad for you and your siblings. Loving thoughts and prayers are being sent your way. Blessings, Mel
Aug. 28, 2009 9:31 am
I just wanted to say Sorry and thoughts and prayers are going your way.
Aug. 28, 2009 9:41 am
I lost my mother to liver cancer in 1997 and my brother just died suddenly and unexpectadly in May. The best thing anyone expressed to me when my John passed was a wish for the strength I would need so I will pass that along to you. Although trying, you do have the strength to get through this and to help those around you. Peace and strength, Cocojo.
Aug. 28, 2009 10:33 am
I am so sorry you are going through this time. Please spend as much time as you possibly can with him. It will mean alot to both of you. I lot my Dad when I was 12 and my Mother-in-law about 6 years ago. The time we spent in those last days are treasured memories. Enjoy your ice cream and your Daddy. becky
Aug. 28, 2009 2:06 pm
My prayers go out to you and your family. I lost my father a little over a year ago to illness. It is the little things that you will remember,cherish, and miss the most. So savor the memories and the icecream. You can never have to much of either.
Aug. 28, 2009 2:59 pm
So sorry about what you are going through; it is never easy. We honor my parents on Mother's and Father's day by preparing their favorite foods; the ritual of preparation brings them close to us.
Aug. 28, 2009 3:48 pm
I will lift your dad up to the Father in prayer, and also for you and the family. Though I have lost most of my family to cancer I can say I think of them often and when I do it is with fond memories and of the times we shared loving and laughing together. May the Lord bring you peace through this difficult time. Thanks for sharing those verses with us.
Aug. 28, 2009 3:55 pm
Please see my new blog entry today "OVERWHELMED", ..giving thanks for each of you.
Aug. 28, 2009 4:30 pm
I stumbled upon your blog accidently. Talk about hit me like a brick in the face with a flood of memories of my own parents. My father died when I was 8 and my mother when I was 42. Her death about killed me. But my faith and my wonderful family and friends have helped me through it. Your precious memories of your father will save you, so make your special strawberry sauce and every time you do, your father will be right there with you. God Bless your family and your dad is now added to my “rosary list” ?
Aug. 28, 2009 7:24 pm
My prayers are with John, and you. I'm sorry. My mom died almost four years ago (9/1), and like you, on her Birthday, and her eternal birthday, I remember her with the foods she so enjoyed, and we celebrate her LIFE! God bless.
Aug. 28, 2009 7:40 pm
May the Good Lord be with you and your family, my thoughts and prayers are with you. It is not easy to accept any parent leaving us, but knowing they are with God above helps heal the pain. Take care of you.
Aug. 28, 2009 8:22 pm
Some years ago, I lost my aunt-- who was like a mother to me-- to breast cancer. It was a long process, and very hard to go through. I felt like part of my spirit was going with her. But I always felt held up by her love and the support of my close friends. You will find all around you the help you need to get through this. Sending a prayer your way right now.
Aug. 28, 2009 8:34 pm
at this time it's also important to take care of yourself. get grief counsel if you need to talk. do something to remind yourself how special YOU are to your dad. only deal with one day at a time, know you have friends who care & don't always know what to do/say...involve them as much as you'd want to help them. if you need privacy/want company (for talk or silence) let your friends know. it's different for each of us but pain is lessened when shared. you and yours are in prayers
Aug. 28, 2009 9:56 pm
Once there was a silly old ant thought he'd move a rubber tree plant Anyone knows an ant, can't, move a rubber tree plant...but he had high hopes..he had high hopes...he had, high apple pie in the sky hopes...so if your ever feeling blue, dont know what to do, just remember that ant...and the lesson dad taught us thru this little song he used to sing to us..."always keep going and hope for the best!" woops their goes another rubber tree, woops that means another recipe, woops that means a blog by you, ya see....wow, what a wonderful and caring group of members...and I know they are going to love your blogs. Love ya sis, Suz xoxo
Aug. 28, 2009 10:55 pm
Keeping your Dad,you and your siblings and your families in my thoughts and prayers. May God hold you all tenderly in the palm of his hand. Ellen from Long Island
Aug. 28, 2009 10:57 pm
I too have lost a parent...only 8 years ago and it's not something that you can ever prepare for but something that you learn to live with. I am sorry that you are going through a rough time. Your family is in my prayers.
Aug. 29, 2009 5:35 am
Your selection of scripture tells me you have the Lord in your life & heart. Keep the Lord close and let him guide you and your family through this time. I have lost both parents & two siblings, one was just last year to kidney cancer. Knowing what to prepare for didn't make it any easier. When you love someone there is never enough time with them. Spend all the time you can with him, then when it is time let him go to rest in peace. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. God Bless all of you.
Aug. 29, 2009 7:17 am
"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth be removed and through them mountains be carried into the midst of the sea...the Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge." (Psalm 46:1-2, 7) Praying for you and your family. Losing loved ones is NEVER something that you can prepare enough for...but what a comfort to believe that death is NOT final, for God tells us that those who believe in Jesus and what He did for us will meet again one day, where there is no more pain or sorrow. God bless you and your family greatly!
Aug. 29, 2009 7:51 am
Hi Cocojo. I remember when my mom went home many years ago now. I was in Texas, and she was in Illinois. The news at firs hit me quite hard, but then God gave wonderful consolation in remembering 1) that she and I had a good relationship, and 2) that I would see her again when we both would rejoice together in the presence of the Lord. May God even so console your and your family's hearts and bless you greatly through this difficult time. Grace to you. KDStreet
Aug. 29, 2009 8:36 am
May the good Lord wrap your family in his loving arms. we are praying for your family from south Alabama God Bless.
Aug. 29, 2009 9:16 am
I lost my son-in-law to liver cancer two days before Christmas last year. I will pray for you.
Aug. 29, 2009 10:55 am
Your entry brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing about this painful season. It also brings to mind a sweet memory from when my mom was dying of cancer. She had lost interest in food, but somehow I hit upon fresh strawberries and whipped cream. She loved them and even ate a second helping! (I can still remember her face as she gobbled up those strawberries.) What a blessing you have had in your father and the legacy he has given you and your siblings. May the Lord bless you with peace and comfort your heart each day during this part of your journey!
Aug. 29, 2009 3:21 pm
Blessings as you walk through this valley ... full aware you are not alone. Yes, there are seasons, and even winter, when trees are barren, holds wonders. Thank you for posting.
Aug. 29, 2009 3:21 pm
Blessings as you walk through this valley ... full aware you are not alone. Yes, there are seasons, and even winter, when trees are barren, holds wonders. Thank you for posting.
Aug. 29, 2009 8:05 pm
I will be praying for your dad and family! The recipe sounds great, by the way :) My english teacher's mom passed away a couple days ago, and she said earlier in the week, through tears, "it's tough to lose a parent, no matter how old you are", since her dad died not long ago. Just remember the good times, thank God for a great father, and don't forget that miracles happen :)
Aug. 29, 2009 8:12 pm
Recently, I found that God really IS watching our backs and He sends us encouragements at just the right time. I hope that what I write, will do just that. Though you are starting to mourn now, know that Jesus Christ will be waiting when your dad passes. I was asleep one time and while I was sleeping, I found myself in a long, lit up tunnel. I could see my husband and kids down at the very end and Jesus was standing next to me, with His hand out for me to take. He said, "Come on, it's time to go." I couldn't see His face but I could see His hand and purple robes sleeve with white. I told Him I wasn't ready to go and that I wanted to stay and watch my children grow up. He said, "Okay, but it's going to be hard if you stay." I woke up the next morning remembering every part of what happened and now it's still as fresh as the day that it happened. It was not a dream. By this happening, when my faith has started to flail the Holy Spirit reminds me of that time, which in turn makes my faith strong again. He IS real, He IS who He says He is and He WILL be waiting for me and your Father. This I know. My Dad passed away about 10 years ago and I had a very hard time dealing with it. I still do at times but I also know that I will see him someday. As of now, keep crying. Keep dealing with the thought. Don't shove it under the rug to deal with when it happens because all of the things you haven't dealt with, will surface at once and it will be totally overwhelming. Most importantly, take time for you. I will not forget this time that I have spent with you and know, that I will be praying in the background when the Lord prompts. Bless you, My, Sister, Ivory
Aug. 29, 2009 10:41 pm
My first response to anyone on this venue. My eyes teared and my heart smiled! Strawberry topping is the perfect response. Your family and lovely Father, John<, are in my thoughts and prayers!
Aug. 29, 2009 10:41 pm
Losing a loved one is never easy...just dwell on the good times you had together and be thankful you have those to hold on to. You are in my prayers.
Aug. 30, 2009 5:53 am
Lost my mom 9 years ago today! You can't imagine how many times I still get the sudden urge to pick up the phone to call her! Savor your memories and know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Aug. 30, 2009 7:38 am
Lost husband three months ago, after a long illness. I hope you will feel as I did that, they are no longer in pian and are shareing a new begining, with others that have pass. Just Remember thay are happy now and so should we. I will be praying for you ans your families comfort.
Aug. 30, 2009 8:58 am
How lovely that you would do something like that to remember your dad. I would love to honor your dad that way! When the anniversaries of my parents' and brother's death comes about, I send an email to my siblings with something I've written to honor them. It makes me feel better. We all live in different states. God bless! Mary
Aug. 30, 2009 11:13 am
no time can prepare fro losing a love one my prayers are with you
Aug. 30, 2009 12:08 pm
God bless you, your Dad and your whole family. You're right, it is hard! Be kind to yourself and know that you have done all you can to make him as happy as possible. Sending Hugs and Prayers!
Aug. 30, 2009 1:28 pm
No words can express true feelings at a time like this...know that we all grieve with you and for you....I lost my dad thirty one years ago and my memories of him and how he loved to cook are still with me...enjoy the time you have left with him....he will always remain in your heart!!
Aug. 30, 2009 1:50 pm
I pray that you will feel God's comforting presence as you draw close to Him during this difficult time. I lost my Dad about 25 years ago to cancer. I still miss him, but smile when I think of him, knowing I'll be with him for eternity. May the peace of Jesus rule in your heart and mind. God loves you so!
Aug. 30, 2009 2:54 pm
God Bless your Dad & your whole family. God give you all peace, comfort, & more family time together. Amen! :)
Aug. 30, 2009 8:17 pm
Are there ever enough prayers? As one who has not faced what you are facing...altho we thought we had lost my mom in Oct., I have face other unspeakable sorrows. I never tire of hearing the love and support of a genuine heart. My prayers are with you tonite and your family. How awesome to see all of these posts. May they bring you comfort.
Aug. 30, 2009 9:51 pm
Cocojo, my heart goes out to you. My father will be gone 2 years in Feb. He was aging but we never expected him to die when he did. I live 1/2 hour away but the weather was so bad that I didn't get to see him the last two days he was here. That meant my mom didn't either. She talked to him on the phone but he died at the hospital before she could get there. That was the hardest thing for me to accept. I felt like I had failed him. I've worked with the elderly my whole nursing career and saw many people dying without family and thought it so sad. But you know, he wouldn't have wanted me to travel in bad weather because he was always worrying about me. I had to ask myself, what could I have done for him anyway. I also think that he may have tried to linger on longer if we had been there. At that point he was suffering so much that it was better for him to be called home to his mansion in the sky. The sad feelings are something you just have to work through on your own time and in your own way. Don't be afraid or think you are weak to go through all the stages of grief. Time heals all wounds. Treasure the memories. Those we love remain in our hearts forever. Peace be with you.
Aug. 31, 2009 10:32 am
I am so sorry for your pain and the sadness that you feel. There are no words that any of us have that can really comfort another during such a time but there are words in the Scriptures that come from above that can truly comfort us and can provide answers to the questions that we all have. If you would like to correspond with me I would be happy to share what I have learned that has helped me to endure the lose and pain that is unavoidable in this life. Here is my e-mail: carolmueller@live.com. May the reator of the universe give you power to endure!
Aug. 31, 2009 1:05 pm
I just stumbled upon this. Your blog brings tears to my eyes as I am close to my father and cannot imagine the world without him. I think it is so sweet that you are making his dish with him in mind ! I'm sorry that you are going down this path it is not easy ever to lose a loved one. Your father sounds like a man a lot of people strive to be but few suceed in becoming. Take refuge in the good memories and what he's done for you and your family. God bless you and your loved ones Ash
Aug. 31, 2009 1:51 pm
my thought are with you. I have lost both of my parents. It is difficult to prepare for and painful to deal with after. My prayers are with you during this difficult time. God Bless.
Aug. 31, 2009 2:41 pm
my thoughts and prayers are with you, cocojo! I lost my mom to cancer just a few short years ago. When they discovered it, it had already metastasized to her liver. I was totally unprepared for the news nor the speed in which the cancer claimed her life. God Bless you and your family through this tough time.
Aug. 31, 2009 3:58 pm
Thank you for the words. I recall hearing it sung by a group in the 60's but cant recall the name. Does anyone else hear this music playing as they read Ecclesiates??? I lost my Dad to brain cancer in 2005 but sometimes it seems more recent. I feel lucky to have been with him at the end and able to comfort him. You are in my thoughts and prayers and your fond memories of having such a good Dad will comfort you!
Aug. 31, 2009 4:09 pm
Praying expectantly for you and yours. :)
Aug. 31, 2009 5:05 pm
HI I just wanted to say that I'm right there with you. I have lost people near and dear to my own heart in just the past two years. My aunt to Cancer, then My Grandfather to Cancer, which was awful we saw him deteriorate in less than a year. Then this year my husband and I ( we're still newlyweds mind you being married in Feb 09 ) lost our first child in April. Its been hard to say the least. When I read your post I was touched, and re-assured by the Bible verse you posted. I don't believe in coincidence but rather divine intervention. I feel God placed this lil post right in my path as today has been a hard day dealing with the lost baby issue. I'm praying for you, your father, your family and for God to give you the strength you need in this time in your life. What keeps me sane and able to deal with it all is to remember that they are now with God their maker, what better place to be once we've passed? Let this comfort you when the time comes. A sister in Christ-Jenny
Aubrey M. 
Aug. 31, 2009 5:07 pm
I am so sorry for this bad news. You chose my favorite scripture, but you have to remember, its not over 'til its over! Enjoy your time with him while you have it, and don't mourn until the time comes. As for ice cream, he is a man after my own heart.
Aug. 31, 2009 6:15 pm
Jenny, Thank you for such a heart felt post. I cannot imagine what you are dealing with in the loss of your child. I had a miscarriage with my first child many years ago...I went on to have 3 healthy wonderful children. God never promised us a life free of pain but the difference with having him in your life is that his promise was that when everything falls, He will hold us. I hope you feel his arms around you daily as you heal. Let others give to you and be kind to yourself during this time. Thank you for sharing a little of your heart with me Jenny. Jo
Aug. 31, 2009 6:17 pm
Thank you all for kind words. It's amazing how many lives have been touched by cancer.
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Loving life at 50ish. Kids are gone and I'm focusing on my career! I enjoyed running a chocolate truffle business for 3 years and now teach adults and children about chocolate. I also teach hands on cooking classes at a local cooking school and am writing my first cookbook! Please visit me at my blog www.allrecipes.com/cook/givethemfood
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I love to cook almost anything but particularly enjoy Italian. I have been studying Vegetarian and Vegan cooking for the last few years and love to make healthy meals.
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landing my dream job as a teaching chef.
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when I was teaching myself to cook way back in college, I made these wonderful oatmeal raisin cookies for my roomies....only problem was I forgot the flour! The cookies became one big mass that overflowed the cookie sheet and made a huge mess in the oven!
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