Oopsy!~ - thoughts fill me more than food Blog at Allrecipes.com - 265537

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thoughts fill me more than food

OOpsy!~ 
 
Jan. 27, 2012 8:27 am 
Updated: Dec. 13, 2012 6:50 pm
I am using the term Oopsy!~ as AR does not acknowledge, Oh Sh!t. Which is still a very famous phrase in my kitchen.
As I read through posts, from new cooks on the buzz, it makes me think, --these cooks are so gifted and smart. They have a great community to offer help which will lead to success.
As I look back over the years, I did not have virtual friends to aid in my cooking experiences. I had my gramma on the phone on many occasions asking things like:
How is the bread dough suppose to look/feel?
What is this gunk left in the roasting pan?
Or, I don't feel like cooking tonight, what are you having and can I come over?

Gramma had great advice, but many times were trial and error. Now my daughters are starting to cook in their own homes and I get phone calls asking about meatloaf, recipes and how did you get .......with a multitude of Q&A's
I think it would be interesting to take our unsuccesful moments in the kitchen and put them together as a reference for many young or new cooks. Even experienced cooks would benefit. It seems no matter how much I know, I still learn tricks, do's and dont's.

So here are a few of mine and please feel free to add your own as it may spark a memory for someone else

*Do not use warm water when mixing flour and water in a jar for gravy, it explodes and cleaning the kitchen takes days, even weeks later you WILL find a bit of glue like substance on the ceiling

*Do not leave anything on the stove to cook on high and run to the phone, the door or the garden, a watched pot may never boil, but unwatched food burns in 2 minutes

*Potatoes are the chameleon of the vegetable world, if peeled and left out of water, they turn black, if left in the sunlight they turn green, and if left in normal house light, they sprout prematurely. No one wants premature sprouting from anything.

*Never bake a fruit pie in a clean oven without foil under the pie plate. An unwritten law of the kitchen will ensure that the filling boils over in the oven, a child will spill milk on a clean floor and clean cupboards or fridges are magnets for tipped jars or spices

*cold meat does not shred. I was in a hurry to cook some pork for sandwiches, I was called away from the kitchen so I set the pork into the fridge. It cooled freakishly quick and I had to reheat it to shred.

*any time a new kitchen idea works, thank the cooking  elves for a fantabulous meal and write it down. Tips written in the backs of cookbooks or in the notes section of my recipe box  help to ensure great results next time. We may think our memory is a bank, but mine is more like a safe and I often forget the combination to open it.

I know I am not alone in the Oopsy department, we all make mistakes and in time they are a funny learning experience, even if at first all you can say is Oh Sh!t.


 
Comments
Jan. 27, 2012 8:49 am
OTFLMAO!! How about making sure to heat up milk to make mashed taters,?, unless you actually Like the taste of glue. There is a ton of tricks / tips that we all could use and as many as we've forgotten we already knew. Great blog RNG! Or what about using salt to help clean up an egg off the floor? I need to try using corncstarch on fried foods to get a crispier coating too! Thanks for an intersting start to my day! I will try and think of somemore at school. Tootles:):)
 
Jan. 27, 2012 8:52 am
morning, Patty. Cornstarch to coat meat is great for crispy meat. I tried one day while experimenting with schezuan beef, it was a triumph in the kitchen. Hope your clean up and lunch are a hit;)
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:00 am
No matter how many say it works, don't be on the experimental end of baking biscotti on wax paper. Especially if you do not have the "real" oven vent that actually vents outside the house. Holy smoke, batman :)
 
Keri 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:01 am
Here's one my sister-in-law's mother learned: Never put eggs on to boil and then lay down on the couch for "just a minute". This was several years ago and they are STILL trying to figure out how to get the egg-splosion mess off their kitchen ceiling :)
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:03 am
Too funny RNG...the watched pot one is so true...I can't tell you how many times I've been scrubbing that dang glass top stove of mine. One time it was baby bottles for me...I had to throw the whole pot, bottles and all out...I'm so thankful for smoke detectors. Great blog!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:05 am
And to add to your burnt food in 2 minutes.... In my house you never, ever leave the kitchen, under any circumstance, without setting a timer of some sort. When you come back from sorting laundry, the veggies that were just lightly sauteing will need to be replaced, as may the pan they are in, and your kitchen if you haven't done laundry in some time.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:07 am
quietly LMAO, once again with you (I hope) not at you. I am still unsure of how waxed paper is suppose to be used in the oven. I have NEVER been brave enough to try. I have more than my share of burnt items in the oven and waxed paper is just not at the top of my list. I use good quality waxed paper for chilled dishes as it makes them pop out of the pan easier. Cereal bags also work great for chilled bars, fudge, etc.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:10 am
as a new mom, I often drifted off to sleep for a few minutes while rocking the kids for their afternoon naps, I learned quickly to turn off everything in the house, even the phone. Survey callers and sales people are prone to call when you are drifting off to sleep....Sherri, I rarely used baby bottles but I could imagine the mess that could leave
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:22 am
microwave bread for more than a minute and you get chewing gum! learnt that the hard way... :(
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:24 am
ha ha ha, oh yes, first it is chewing gum, then through some scientific trasformation it turns into a brick:) good one, I think we have all done that
 
SD 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:25 am
Oh my gosh, I can't think that fast - Patty, I didn't know that; I've never heated the milk, lol!
 
SD 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:26 am
And I totally agree with you, I wish I had an internet community when I was just starting. My mom worked a lot and doesn't really like to cook. My MIL was busy, busy, busy then too. It was totally trial & error!!
 
weeble 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:27 am
"We may think our memory is a bank, but mine is more like a safe and I often forget the combination to open it" OMG that is soooooo funny, but true! great blog RN. gotta run, but will be back to read some more, maybe even contribute! LOL
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:28 am
Do not, I repeat, do not try to make chocolate mousse with one sauce pan sitting inside another (I did remember to put water in the bottom one) that is too tight a fit. Broke the handle off while trying to separate the little buggers apart. It was 11 pm on a week night and I was making it for dinner the next night with hubby to be and his boss and wife.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:33 am
SD, I do not heat the milk or butter for my mashed potatoes either, but who knows maybe mine are like glue.....which leads to another tragesty-when we do not KNOW our food is less than stellar and no one says a thing about it:)....will await your story, Weebs
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:36 am
ha ha Fabius, soooooo many failures when we try to impress. I have finally reached a point in my confidence of cooking to make TNT recipes for guests and do my experimenting on my walking garbage cans, AKA the kids.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:37 am
I have learned a few neat tips here on AR in the last 12 years. Some that come to mind are cutting up celery when you get it home into smaller pieces, wash and then wrap in heavy tin foil. This will keep for weeks. I also wrap cut onion in tin foil, so much better than plastic bags. If you need quick softened butter you can grate it on a large grater or cut into tablespoon size pieces and nuke at 30% power for about 1 minute for 1 cube, softens without melting.
 
SD 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:40 am
Good tips Cindy, I have celery I need to do that with right now.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:42 am
I don't heat my milk for potatoes either but I have learned - DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use an immersion blender to speed up the mashing process before Thanksgiving dinner. However, if you are looking for some excellent (and barely edible) paste, that's a great tip!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:45 am
great tips, Cindy, thank you....Janet you could add water and paper mache some great things with the girls this way it is not a failure rather crafting time for after the big meal:D
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:47 am
Be sure to push that cookie sheet all the way in so it doesn't touch the oven window. If not, you will think you have surely been shot!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:53 am
WOWSERS SC! I WILL most definitely heed warning with this. Care to share the fall out? Did the stove company warranty it? Oh that must have scared the bejeebers out of you
 
Alex 
Jan. 27, 2012 9:58 am
One of the first things I learned by trial and error was, if you're going to soften or melt butter in the microwave, take the foil wrapping off first.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:01 am
LOL, Oh Alex, that reminds me of the time I tossed frozen veggies in the microwave to defrost, forgot to take the twisty tie off the bag. Sparks were flying and I got was freaking. I unplugged the microwave, afraid to open the door while it was plugged in. I am an eletrical whimp.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:15 am
1-Mash the potatoes before you put anything in them... then add soft butter and mash then warm milk! Don't over mix! Perfect everytime! 2-If you have a lot of bacon to make put it in the oven on parchment paper! Easy Peasy! 3 -Don't be afraid to ask us questions, no matter how dumb you think it is! Someone on the buzz will have an answer! Great Blog, rg!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:17 am
LMAO! I think I have done every one of the OH Sh!t's listed here. In my case the warm water and flour just made HUGE lumps in the gravy. Um, don't turn your back on a skillet that is heating up because if you do it could endup on fire!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:21 am
great tips Shan....Cat, I was just thinking the same thing and returning to post-do not deep fry anything without the box of baking soda and the lid to the pan close at hand. By the time your find and reach for them, you could be having a visit from the local fire dept. Also when adding frozen foods to hot oils, do it very slowly or the oil bubbles over the deep fryer and at the very least you have an awful mess. Also, never fry bacon in a tank top:D I swear I have oil splatter indents on my arms
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:37 am
The outcome was I had to get a new stove. I loved the old one. It had two ovens and it was the top eye-level oven I did it to. If I had only known, I would have been much more careful. I'll never forget how loud that bang was!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:37 am
Butter mixed with flour makes a great thickner and it doesn't lump! I think I got that from Keri!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 10:39 am
How about this? For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won't refreeze. To remove old wax from a glass candle holder put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out. When you get a splinter reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter and then pull it off.. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 11:10 am
I knew better but when I was newly married, we lived in a small house with limited counter space. While preparing a casserole, I placed an empty Pyrex 9 x 13 dish on top of the stove - not realizing I had left a burner turned on. Good Golly Miss Molly - never do that again!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 11:11 am
I have one disaster from the restaraunt that I will never forget. Those yummy soup filled dumplings (that are so delicious steamed) should NEVER EVER be deep fried. It was like hot grease fireworks. It took days to clean up. We all learned that cocktails and deep frying do not mix.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 11:41 am
To remove a pit from an avocado DO NOT rest the avocado half in the palm of your hand and proceed to stab a sharp knife into the pit. The avocado will fly across the kitchen and you will be left with a knife firmly implanted in your palm. :(
 
Jan. 27, 2012 11:49 am
Got another one! When in a HURRY taste the granulated white stuff to make sure you are getting the right one! Salt in pears just doesn't produce the same syrup!
 
SD 
Jan. 27, 2012 12:15 pm
Ouch Marie!!!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 12:34 pm
SCook, I feel for you, buying new appliances is such a pita.....butter and flour would be a great tip, Shan and I cook the flour, then add milk, but if I need to thicken stews, cream sauces, etc then I thicken with shaken flour and water or milk, thanks for the idea though
 
Jan. 27, 2012 12:38 pm
great tips RB, I also heard that blue dawn is great for septics, seems the snow birds have been doing that for years....Shearone, I have been so careful with my pyrex and I must say, I still love them...Hazel I am not sure I know which dumplings you speak of but I have had some bubbling oil when I added fries that were a little too wet, or some ice crystals have set off the cooking oil into a danger zone.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 12:42 pm
Marie, that does sound terribly painful, ouch! I used to cut apples in half, then while they were in my palm, I would core 1/2 the apple. As my kids started to grow and use knives, I seen them trying the same thing, I quickly told them that seemed unsafe, and realized where they got the idea from-do as I say not as I do became a huge motherly saying.....LOL, yes Cat great tip. I have never done that;) My mistake was adding sugar to corn water for boiling instead of salt. I realized right after I set the corn into cook, but it turned out a great success, the corn was extra sweet and I have been doing it ever since:) Salt in cookies, um not so much
 
Jan. 27, 2012 12:58 pm
Always keep a firm grip on jars and 2 liter bottles of Mt Dew when taking them from the frig.
 
gebah 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:11 pm
I always get ice on my front stoop and we have a brick walkway that ices up all the time. Hubby is insistant not to use any chemicals on it to melt as chemicals will erode the brick. Do the Dawn/warm water trick really work? Why is it good for septics? (We have one of those, too!)
 
Susie 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:32 pm
Do NOT turn on your KA mixer before the bowl is locked on. I just did that for the first time about an hour ago. I had my butter and sugar in the bowl but hadn't tightened it. Let's just say stuff went everywhere.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:52 pm
bwahaha, I find it funny you chose to say Dew, rather than just random pop, Sassy. I see experience in that comment;) Not sure what is in blue Dawn, Gebah. Several of my relatives spend winters in the US in a RV gang, for lack of a better word. Within the group, they all use blue dawn, it is suppose to break down and get rid of odour better than other chemicals. They love it and it is cheap. It was in one of their newsletters, so they shared it with all of us 5th wheeler people
 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:53 pm
If it doesn't jet propel across the kitchen, it just stays in place and spins.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:54 pm
LOL, Susie, also do not have your KA positioned on your counter so that your elbow hits the ON button going from 0-5 with cream in the bowl is not good without the splash gaurd:D
 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:55 pm
Oh Sassy, what a sticky oooey gooey, dewey mess, I feel like Uncle Donal Duck
 
SD 
Jan. 27, 2012 1:57 pm
You just reminded me that my KA was in the *on* position when I plugged it in - not pretty and scared me to death. And that story reminds me of hanging my new apron up on the pantry door - forgetting about it and going to open the door & the *ghost* in my pantry scared the you know what out of me!
 
JARRIE 
Jan. 27, 2012 2:22 pm
Do not store the George Foreman in the oven. 'Nuff said.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 3:03 pm
LOL!!!
 
Gitano 
Jan. 27, 2012 4:36 pm
OOOOO...great blog!!! How about the old 'make sure you prick your baked potatoes before baking in the oven'? Otherwise, a muffled hand grenade sound will soon be heard and your oven is filled with 'mashed' taters! :) I think that was my very first mistake in the kitchen when I was newly married!
 
sueb 
Jan. 27, 2012 4:50 pm
If you smell burned plastic, you should have checked your oven before heating it up! Experienced by a mother whose children wanted to store their Legos in a safe place!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 5:04 pm
Lol Jarrie.. Let's say d rice cooker insert too.. And anything plastic.. Lol!! I've ruined a very pretty tray.. I forgot it was in there.. Also, when u need to lever the top off a tin don't use a sharp knife.. A blunt one will do.. And make sure it other hand is safely away.. Took off a piece of me.. & I still have the scar to show for it.. 4 years later.. :)
 
Jan. 27, 2012 6:09 pm
Soo nice to see peeps come out of the wood work for a good blog. FWI, lunch was delishious!! 3 different enchiladas, Singapore noodles, chicken salad, pozole, mac n cheese. There was chocolate pudding, pastries and a huge dulce de leche cake. I made pinwheels and the lime cheese cake cheeseball. The kitchen is cleaned to within an inch of her Life and I am soooo glad its Friday night baby! Wwwooohhhooo.
 
Jan. 27, 2012 6:13 pm
Speaking of burned plastic, at school, we warm the hamburger buns in the warmer. The plastic gets stuck to the back of it. My friend spent 2 days scrapping and scrubbing that plastic off the back.:( Clean as a whistle now! Nesa is REALLY glad it's Friday!! Lol
 
Jan. 27, 2012 6:23 pm
Do NOT forget to remove the plastic netting from the turkey breast roll before roasting. heehee
 
Jan. 27, 2012 6:24 pm
Well, waaaaaay back there in the day when Microwaves first came out, I heard you could cook an egg in just 30 seconds. I must not've heard the part about coving the cooking container. The sound of the explosion scared the water out of me. The same with marshmallows! YIKES!!!!
 
Jan. 27, 2012 6:26 pm
Oh Marie. That is one Painful lesson:( so sorry bout that.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 12:41 am
May I share a disaster without a tip? My big one that made me cry (and I shared it immediately on the buzz) was dumping my cinnamon rolls in the sink as I was flipping them. Boo hoo hoo!!!!!! Oh! Do not lay down to go back to sleep for an hour BEFORE flipping your cinnamon rolls! And if you forget this tip, try microwaving them for a minute or less before flipping - yikes!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 12:43 am
Do not sharpen your mother's knives before a big holiday meal without telling her! (I though my xmil was going to kill him! She had cuts all over her hands from prepping Christmas dinner with knives she didn't know had been sharpened!)
 
Jan. 28, 2012 12:44 am
Make sure your pots have all the dish soap rinsed off before cooking rice in them! (My kids still give me a hard time about my "soap rice.")
 
Jan. 28, 2012 3:26 am
Even something quick has disaster potential. For instance, popcorn. I was buiding an addition to the upstairs and had been at it for over 14 hours when I quit for the evening. I had this impulse (craving?) to have some popcorn so I got it ready and put it on to pop. Somehow, between the time that I put the popcorn in and before the first pop, I sat down and fell sound asleep! When a 5 qt pan of popcorn smokes up the house, it really stinks for days!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 4:26 am
If meat smells bad it is bad, do not cook it as it will smell worse when cooking. Toss it out, go out to dinner and take your receipt to the store for a refund. Also, if you buy meat that has been packaged in plastic at the factory, have the meat dept folks open it before you buy it to ensure it is still good. We had bad ribs last weekend during 17 degree weather. Not good opening all the doors and freezing until we could breath without gaging!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 4:29 am
Never set a hot pan on top of a cookbook opened to your fav recipe. It will scorch several pages instantly while you go to answer the phone.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 4:35 am
Get your grandmas and moms to write down or show you how to make your fav dishes! Grandma made the best stuffing and past before I could figure out her secrets!
 
Gitano 
Jan. 28, 2012 6:39 am
XrayBarb....you should have told them you put cilantro in the rice!!! :):) That would have solved the 'soap' taste :)
 
Lela 
Jan. 28, 2012 7:18 am
Make sure your beaters are actually in the hand mixer before mixing. Don't forget to put the top on the blender. When trying a new recipe for brownies, make sure you use the right size pan or the oozing brown stuff turns into a volcano in the oven.
 
Oldguy 
Jan. 28, 2012 8:04 am
I burned the bottom clear through an aluminum sauce pan on an electric stove. The odor never left the house. Watched a friend place 2 eggs in a small bowl of water and place in microwave. It actually blew the door open and splattered him and the immediate area with hot water, egg goo. Haven't we all grabbed a hot (fill in the blank) skillet handle? More than once?
 
JARRIE 
Jan. 28, 2012 9:14 am
The plastic didn't start burning til after I heated the oven up :) Live and learn!
 
JARRIE 
Jan. 28, 2012 9:15 am
Do not go away for the weekend without checking to make sure your husband removed the lizard's next meal from the microwave and actually FED it to the lizard. By the same token, make sure the lizard ATE it, whatever it was. RIP, Reptar, but DH's pet savannah monitor sure did give me some heart attacks during her lifetime.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 9:19 am
lol, Gitano! Long before I ever heard of someone not liking cilantro. Wouldn't have worked in this house - we all like it (=
 
Jan. 28, 2012 10:55 am
There are some funny stories here. Thanks for the giggles. My large black Lab understands "Sh!t" and comes running to the kitchen to see what I have dropped. BTW - don't put a takeout pizza box on the stove top if you have a pilot light. It takes a while but yes, it will burst into flames.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 11:41 am
about 30 years ago: On my betty crocker cook book is the scorch marks where we turn the stove on, and then set the cook book down on the burner.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 12:07 pm
Great Blog ~ Only last week I burned rice, yes rice. Dinner was in the slow cooker that was ok but I got carried away watching law and order. Oops!!!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 12:14 pm
Do not spend all morning cooking fried chicken and labored to achieve that wonderful crispy outside layer and then cover with tin foil to keep it warm - - all your efforts will be mush - - the chicken will still be good - - but southern fried crisp will be southern fried mess!! LOL - - been there . . done that . . have the T-shirt!!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 1:10 pm
Do not use dishtowels with fringed edges to remove hot pans from the oven or stove. That fringe catches fire very easily! If you reuse sour cream containers to store leftovers LABEL THEM!
 
Jan. 28, 2012 1:37 pm
LOL Do not hold a waffle iron sideways, even if someone is holding a plate beneath it, while struggling to unstick & remove the waffle... if a dog face is hovering below.
 
Virgia 
Jan. 28, 2012 3:15 pm
I wrote a story: Betty Crocker and me about learning to cook when a young married. View it free on authorstand.com. Enjoy it as I have enjoyed these comments.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 3:32 pm
This is some much needed comic relief RNG. I love your sense of humor. I have had many of these tragedies and if I could think of one I would share it :( Here is a remedy for that "NOT WATCHED POT". To remove burnt on food in your pan, add about a tablespoon of dishwasher detergent and partially fill with water. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 20 minutes. Usually it will clean right up.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 3:43 pm
LOL, I am on my way out for supper, but had a few minutes to come and read these, OMG you all are making me howl. My mascara is running, now I need to go refix. Thank you ALL so much for such a good laugh. I feel better knowing I am not alone with the Oh sh!t moments. Many great stories, some I can relate to, others I read and think, I have not done that....yet:D
 
Jan. 28, 2012 3:48 pm
I have to tell this quickie about burned pots. Gramma was in town one day, when I was a little girl, and we decided to make candy. Burnt the pot so bad we thought for sure it was garbage. The pot was going to be tossed to the trash, but we feared Gramma would find it in the trash. So it was taken out to the field where Grampa was working. He left it buy a bush, unkown to him but this was near an ant hill. Grampa returned the pot in a week with a wink, it was totally clean, we washed it with some lye soap and Gramma never knew any different until many years later.
 
Jan. 28, 2012 4:16 pm
OH MY GOSH - - what a great story - leaving a candy burned pot in a field near an ant hill . . . what a hoot! Mental note . . . pull pot out of garbage . . find ant hill . . . leave pot . . . make note to self to retrieve pot before hubby runs over it with lawnmower.
 
Jan. 29, 2012 12:23 am
apple.strudel - burnt rice isn't horrible, just don't scrape the bottom of the pan (=
 
Jan. 29, 2012 12:30 am
Had a babysitter MANY years ago - all day, with my parents coming home for lunch in between. In the morning, we were going to make brownies. But we couldn't find the sugar (I forgot Mom kept it in a coffee can) - so we used Mom's Sugar Twin. Um, not sure if you can bake with Sugar Twin, but it definitely is not "measure for measure!" Yucko! In the afternoon, we were going to make popcorn balls. Not sure what happened, but they didn't set up. No problem - we went ahead and ate the (gooey, drippy!) popcorn. But the sitter put the unpopped kernels down the garbage disposal. Mom had to replace the disposer . . . She never sat for us again! Moral of the story - don't make brownies with saccharine, and don't put unpopped popcorn kernels down the garbage disposer!
 
Neeshka 
Jan. 29, 2012 7:57 am
Re: the bread in the microwave thing. When micro's first came out I had mine delivered and without reading any directions proceeded to cook and grilled cheese sandwich for 10minutes. I look perfectly fine but when I gave it to my little boy he started complaining that he couldn't eat it. It took about 5 minutes of his insistence that I tried the sandwich. He was right, it could not be eaten, bitten and it is probably still intact in a landfill somewhere.
 
Jan. 29, 2012 8:22 am
I live near lots of ant hills in Red Rock Canyon. Wonder if the rangers woud ticket me for feeding the ants:)
 
Oldguy 
Jan. 29, 2012 9:51 am
Back to the beginning. That wasn't self-rising flour was it?
 
Jan. 29, 2012 10:23 am
Hollandaise sauce is harder then it seems to make. It will never be achieved the first time around and if it is it wont taste like what it should. Dont automatically substitute whole wheat flour for regular white flour in any recipes. Theres is a big taste diffrence and whole wheat will taste dryer unless you add some moisture of some sort back into the recipe. Creme brulee is hard if you dont have a kitchen broiler. Your ovens broiler will burn it and all that hard work is down the drain. Cheers!
 
NanaBrandi 
Jan. 29, 2012 11:02 am
I've never put a comment on a blog, but couldn't resist this one...A microwave is NOT a timesaving device if you; put a stick of butter from the freezer in it, hit the minute timer, and turn away to stir something, answer a question or the phone, or get a quick drink of water. Hot cereal or gravies you are trying to thicken are the same. I still relearn that lesson every couple of years.
 
Jan. 29, 2012 11:05 am
Lol...some great stories! My lesson learned is to always check inside the oven before pre-heating. I had thought I was so smart hiding the pan of brownies (with a plastic lid) inside of the oven to keep my chocoholic daughter from eating them all. Boy, melting plastic sure smells bad! Not fun to clean up either.
 
mpt 
Jan. 29, 2012 12:24 pm
Do not but food in the oven, turn oven on, set it to automatically turn off at a certain time, go outside for chores and forget about it. Three days later I found a very moldy butternut squash. I don't use the automatic star/off timers anymore!
 
Jan. 29, 2012 5:08 pm
RNG, will you adopt me? LOL ;) I wish you wonderful folks had been available to me when my mom died and I had to start cooking at the age of 12. I wouldn't have done most of these and more though I do laugh about it lo these many years later. "A happy heart is good medicine." :) And @ SHORECOOK: It does sound like gunfire! I performed the cookie sheet mistake and glass from the oven door flew halfway across the room. Luckily, neither Dad or I were standing near when it happened.
 
Jan. 29, 2012 6:50 pm
two tricks I learned that have helped me: 1)when washing dishes, if it is starch you're trying to scrub off pan (like noodles, taters) let soak in cold water a few minutes...it comes right off. 2) when making Rice Krispies, wet your hands with water before you "pat" the finished product in the pan...your hands will not stick to it. Re-wet your hands as needed. Thanks for the blog! Fun to read:)
 
Jan. 29, 2012 7:51 pm
I have a couple of hints.. 1. Whenever you are making something with raw eggs, rinse the bowls, utensils, etc in cold water as they are proteins and hot water will cook the food to bowls or whatever. 2. This one I learned from my grandmother while learning to make her apple pie from scratch..put a dash of lemon juice in your cut-up apples to keep them from turning brown while you're slicing the rest of them. You can't taste the lemon juice in the pies once they are baked.
 
LuvJMB 
Jan. 30, 2012 4:58 am
Never EVER microwave a cheese sandwich (just bread and cheese) for 3 min instead of 30 seconds. My son did this maybe 10 years ago when he was 10 because he wasn't allowed to use the griddle by himself. I was home thankfully because it caught fire. We blew the fire out and had a burn mark in the microwave. The oven still worked though and we had it for years. We still tease him about it.
 
Jan. 30, 2012 7:27 am
Always make sure the stopper is out of the sink before you run the portable dishwasher. Of course, if you intend to wash the floor at the same time, then go for it...lol
 
Jan. 30, 2012 10:53 am
I have learned soooo much from Buzzers, but the 2 tips I use over and over and also pass along are 1) warm the butter and milk you are going to add when making mashed potatoes and 2) when you bring celery home from the store, do not wash, but simply take a large sheet of heavy duty foil and wrap the celery COMPLETELY from top to bottom. It will keep FRESH and crisp for a couple of weeks. Then just take out what you need each time, wash and chop what is needed, and re-wrap the rest. Remember that it has to be completely wrapped. Also,,,,, never ever think just a DAB of regular dishwashing soap can be used in a dishwasher. Never............. bubble explosions are NOT fun when you are over the age of 4. And Dawn is used on birds when there are oil spills, so it is pretty safe stuff to use in most circumstances. Great blog and fun stories for sure!!!!!
 
Jan. 30, 2012 12:04 pm
Do not walk away from cooker when making the caramel sauce for Monkey Bread, unless of course you WANT a caramel cooker! RNG I am LMAO at your bunt candy pot, you must take after your granpa ;-)
 
kahaky 
Jan. 30, 2012 12:51 pm
Well here goes my pride.....never add b-day candles to hot monkey bread, fortunately wax is ok for pre-teens stomachs! Cool the melted chocolate before dipping balloons into it for chocolate bowls, fortunately a good belly laugh at the new place you found chocolate, even months later, does still burn calories, part 2 - when dipping balloons into melted chocolate keep something large enough to cover the whole thing within reach! Never confuse sweetened condensed milk for buttermilk (I was young) in chicken fried steak, fortunately, if your cooking hasn't killed them, your family will still laugh at you 25 years later!! Thanks for the laughs and comfort of knowing I'm not alone!
 
Jan. 30, 2012 6:26 pm
I have good luck with my mashed potatoes by pouring out the water when finished cooking and placing back on the burner and let dry. Separate them and pour the milk around the potatoes. Add butter, s&p and when it comes to a boil start mashing to lumpy,semi-lumpy or smooth. Add your sauteed (or however you like them) garlic, onions or shallots. I could eat the whole pot myself. Can you have a potato mustache?
 
rockalidl 
Jan. 30, 2012 9:16 pm
Wish I could like, no LOVE every one of y'alls comments! Thanks for the tips and the laffs! ;c)
 
Jan. 31, 2012 11:09 am
Well I just experienced a awwwww cr@p moment......never trim your beet greens in a white blouse! !
 
Jan. 31, 2012 8:31 pm
....Never use mandoline slicers without the safety.....
 
Feb. 1, 2012 8:19 am
I'm pretty good at not making mistakes, but here are a few tips from this girl: Pizza boxes lined with wax paper are great for making chocolate covered pretzels, etc. If it's winter, put 'em outside for a few minutes to harden. Voila! If you have a plastic disaster in the oven, as much as you want to, wait for it to cool. It'll come off much easier in one piece instead of strings of plastic. Coffee filters! Use 'em in the microwave instead of paper towels. They're cheap & easier on the environment. 'Doesn't hurt that they "bowl" around your food, too, if it decides to splatter. Warmed preserves make yummy ice cream topping. Oh, wait! That's not a tip. :D Okay, okay ... Use whole wheat flour in your brownies. The kids won't know it. We prefer noncakelike ones so I don't know about those - may just wanna half it. Darn! 'Not an oops tip either. Hmmmm ... Got one! If you're putting something in the oven for storage, take the knob off you'd use to turn the oven on. 'Makes you think "Why is this off?" & look & go "Oh, yeahhhh ..." :)
 
Feb. 1, 2012 1:28 pm
One experience I had a couple weeks ago happened one night when the kids had baseball practice to go to. Needed a quick dinner, all I had was salmon... put it in the oven, cooked for a little less than the normal time. Looked fine when I took it out, served it up to kids. They cut into it and it is totally under-baked!!! We were in a big hurry so I told them just to throw it in the microwave for a minute. When they take it out it is completely dried out and disgusting!!! So don't put fish int he microwave, even if it is under-baked. It will dry up.
 
Feb. 1, 2012 1:46 pm
Hilarious blog! I have been sitting here at work laughing out loud to myself; I'm sure my boss thinks I've gone off the deep end! I think I've done most of these oh sh!t moments!! Heck just the other day I burnt the veggies on the stove because I ran to change out the laundry and thought surely I'll have enough time. My mother always mixes her gravy in a jar... I tried it one time with warm broth and wowsa the lid came flying off and the contents were everywhere! To this day I still cannot make it like mom! I have had other issues with gravy... don't continue to add MORE flour to thicken it or you will end up with flour paste gravy. This is still something my hubby teases me about each time I make gravy (but he ate it-the 1st breakfast I cooked for him)! Oh and if you ever make the microwave mac n cheese, don't forget to add the water. My son did that when he was about 9 and the whole container caught fire!
 
Feb. 2, 2012 3:01 am
RNG! What a cute blog! Loved reading all the stories!! I'll add olive oil to the "don't walk away" list... only by the Grace of God there go I (and our kitchen). ;)
 
Sheila 
Feb. 3, 2012 4:37 pm
Great idea! **Never,ever,ever put a lid on pea soup(the kind that doesnt have a hole to let steam out) and turn around. In my Grandmothers kitchen, the celing is still green from when it rained pea soup
 
Sheila 
Feb. 3, 2012 4:41 pm
Also, when you are cooking with kids and the recipie says to "beat the flour", dont let them beat it with electric beaters when you walk out of the room.
 
Wickie 
Feb. 5, 2012 8:10 pm
My oh Sh!t momentc (over 10 years ago) was baking lobster in the oven and wondering what the funny lever was on the oven door, which when I pulled it, started the oven-cleaner. I unplugged the oven but the door would not open until the temp had cooled down.. and the lobster tails were dried up.. Jerky lobster anyone ?
 
Feb. 8, 2012 8:24 am
as I read through all your comments I had many great chuckles. Thanks for sharing your tips and on sh!t moments. Real life has taken hold of my time and I appreciate some great laughs from the AR members:)
 
mari 
Mar. 15, 2012 3:49 pm
redneck! Love your prose. i have a couple ? about pies, fill me in? Thanx much and Blue Skies! mari
 
char 
May 25, 2012 12:32 pm
I hae been sitting here laughing until my sides hurt.I have to admit to one of many of oops moments. The one that stands out to me was years ago. Christmas morning, I got my first microwave. Decided to cook biscuits for Christmas morning breakfast in it.After they had been in there for probably 20 or more minutes we decided we had better take them out. We were waiting for them to brown which of course they never did. You could have used them for hockey pucks they were so hard. We then decided we needed to read the directions.
 
Jun. 1, 2012 10:58 am
Always watch your hands when you are cutting something. I've lost count of the amount of times I've cut myself because I've turned away to look at a kid saying "Mom look at this". Hi RnG! :D
 
Jun. 11, 2012 12:51 pm
OMG, Sarah, how are you? Sure miss you around the buzz, your little darlings must have you so busy. Stop in and say Hi when you have a moment:) great to SEE you
 
Dec. 10, 2012 4:22 pm
I'm late to the party, as usual. Loved the blog - write more soon.
 
Clover 
Dec. 13, 2012 6:50 pm
What true words.
 
 
 
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redneck gramma

Member Since
Sep. 2009

Cooking Level
Intermediate

Cooking Interests
Baking, Stir Frying, Slow Cooking, Healthy, Kids

Hobbies
Sewing, Gardening, Camping, Boating, Fishing, Hunting, Music, Charity Work

Links
 
 
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About Me
my table seats 8 comfortably but we always seem to need stacking stools added around it. I am a married to my best friend. We have 2 sons, ages 15 and 18 and 2 daughters 20 and 22. Also have 2 beautiful grandsons. I live on 40 acres and in the right season you will find 200-400 chickens and 20-50 turkeys in the back yard. I love my garden that seems to get tilled just a foot larger each year. Fall in our house has me running around like a squirrel trying to can/freeze/dehydrate anything that resembles possible food for winter. Spare time is for quadding/ski dooing, hunting/fishing/camping.
My favorite things to cook
traditional real food that people forgot how to make. The stores are filled with packaged food, it has it's place and used in moderation is fine. If I can find a recipe to make it from scratch I will always try it once.
My favorite family cooking traditions
can't call myself a professional cook even though I have cooked for so many. I always learn new tips, ideas and recipes. I may want a raise if I was a journeyman cook. I don't think Redneck Grampa in my life could afford that....update 2013, I think I qualify as a red seal journeyman cook. I am giving myself a raise and using the extra money to take my guys on vacation-win/win for us all.
My cooking triumphs
my table filled with food from my garden, canning from the cold room, fresh baked bread, and meat from my back yard-wild or domestic. When salt/pepper & butter (I don't have a milk cow or life could be perfect) are the only bought staples on the table-life is goooooodddd
My cooking tragedies
don't have any because anything that doesn't turn out I blame on a new recipe. I tell my family I had to try it before I could improve it, lol and it has worked fine for many years.
 
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