You Gotta Have A Thick Skin - Penny Lane Blog at - 208922

Penny Lane

You Gotta Have a Thick Skin 
Dec. 1, 2010 9:53 pm 
Updated: Dec. 8, 2010 8:48 pm
You must have  a thick skin to be a cook / chef - it is required - part of the job description.   It comes with the turf.  There is no way to please all the people all the time.  As hard as we try - someone isn't going to be happy. 
If you are cooking for clients - and ask for feed back - you best be prepared to get that feed back and it isn't all going to be positive.  But when it is - it feels good - very good.
Cooking for family is even worse - they make no bones about what they like and dislike.
Years ago I remember knowing that the only meal I could serve that everyone in the family liked was spaghetti - it had to be from a large jar of Prego and had to include hamburger.  The type of pasta was somewhat negotiable - thick or thin -  never cork screw or Penne pasta.   Salad was iceberg lettuce with Ranch dressing.... period.  We all survived and grew into people who love a variety of food.  The daughter who thought ketchup was "spicy" married a man of Hispanic heritage and is now cooking Chili Rellenos & Tamales.    
The subject of having a "Tough Skin"  brings me to the buzz - the recipe exchange.... if you ask a question - be prepared for opinions!  You will get what you asked for - varied opinions from all walks of life.
If your published recipe doesn't get all 5 star reviews - think of it as family - not everything appeals to everyone.  If it did - we would be a boring lot - eating Prego with hamburger and thick or thin spaghetti.
If you post an OT - personal issue - I am sure some are hoping for nothing but understanding and sympathy...well there are always two sides to every story and you have to consider all opinions - or save your breath and don't ask.   Sometimes the life experiences of someone else might help sort out your problem - not to say that it will feel comfortable or good.  But if you ask - be prepared for a variety of answers.   None of these opinions are an attack on YOU personally - they are just that, opinions. 
Sorry for the bit of a rant  ....  people come and go from the Buzz - as time passes, needs change, schedules allow time to cruise the Buzz and sometimes they don't.   All in all - this is a great forum.  A forum for food - family - sharing - happiness and loss. 
For me - you all bring a richness to my life that I cherish.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:03 pm
Amen Baking Nana! Well said, and you are exactly right in my opinion! As they say, take everything with a grain of salt...that becomes more and more true the more often you put yourself out there.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:05 pm
Thank You, Baking Nana.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:09 pm
No - Thank YOU, ladies! For being here and being part of what makes this place part of who I am. Blessing to all of you. :)
Dec. 1, 2010 10:17 pm
Well, I thank you as well! I feel blessed by this forum and I hate when there are bruised feelings.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:21 pm
Mimosa - I don't like buised feelings either and I try ( not always successfully) to avoid such....but we are all different - all have an opinion and shouldn't have to censor every word. Having a bit of the "thick skin" is a good thing.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:27 pm
BNana, I can see where the odd person might feel a bit bruised by a comment or post, but not any of your posts that I have read. A good reminder that honest feedback is a gift - and it doesn't always have to be 100% positive - because not one of us is perfect and can always learn. Kind is nice, though :)
Dec. 1, 2010 10:27 pm
Me again, I just looked at the way your handle came out - I really didn't intend to call you banana - sorry 'bout that.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:39 pm
Kind is nice HMJ - but through the internet - sometimes - something is lost. You have to take it for what it's worth - sometimes that is hard for some people.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:40 pm
LOL - that is OK NMJ - Xray Barb coined that name a long time ago - I love it.
Dec. 1, 2010 10:40 pm
Well put (though sometimes easier said than done (= )
Dec. 1, 2010 10:42 pm
Actually, I picked it up from someone else (Celeste, maybe?), but I think I abuse it the most (= I love my Ba'Nana!
Dec. 1, 2010 10:42 pm
BTW - it usually comes out as B'ana...or something like that..LOL
Dec. 1, 2010 10:46 pm
LOL - thanks Barb. LOL - did I tell you the grand kids where calling me Bananna Nana? who lives in Fontana (which I don't) I told them to change that to MONTANA!
Dec. 1, 2010 11:00 pm
There are some people who decide they have to leave the Buzz periodically and do, but they are shortly back, sometimes with a new name. It's unfortunate, but it happens. Even face to face things can be misinterpreted - over the internet it is even harder. But B'Nana is right, we have to leave the thin skin elsewhere. Very few things are intended to be mean, but sometimes they come across that way. We all need to pull our socks up and remember we are alleged to be adults and shake it off.
Dec. 1, 2010 11:16 pm
BSM - I'm yankin' on my leotards even as I type.
Dec. 2, 2010 12:58 am
Very well said.
Dec. 2, 2010 1:21 am
Seen a lot of people come and go and a whole sh!t load of people with hurt feelings. But, yes Nana, I agree with your thoughts.
Dec. 2, 2010 1:21 am
Great blog ~ exactly right. You never know what is going to get replied to you, any question you ask during life! You listen to what others have to say and take their advice and opinions if you want too, but remember it is only THEIR opinion...
Dec. 2, 2010 2:58 am
I agree! We are all different, and our opinions are just that--all different! When I put the blog together about the AR quilt, I remembered what was happening at the time we collected info about the quilt blocks, then how things didn't go as expected. As I looked at the names of submitters of quilt blocks, it seemed different when I finally put the blog together because so much had changed! And yet, nothing had changed! We are all different, and always will be!
Dec. 2, 2010 3:33 am
Thanks, Baking Nana. You are, of course, correct! I have had all sorts of experiences as a "daring" home cook, lol....both triumphs and complete failures, and BOTH make me laugh! An opinion was asked about a personal recipe yesterday, and I gave my honest answer. It felt risky, as NO ONE wants to offend or hurt the feelings of another person...which should be considered by the person asking! The internet is a strange, strange is hard to interpret tone into a written word, and people are sometimes not as kind or careful as they would be in real life.
Dec. 2, 2010 3:59 am
You have a wonderful way with words Baking Nana, always seem to be right on!
Dec. 2, 2010 5:01 am
Very good and very true. Thanx
Dec. 2, 2010 5:02 am
cheers to that baking nana. i concur 100%! and Sarah, you're so right about the lack of "tone" that makes it sometimes difficult to interpret someone's ideas and opinions. i always say, "if you don't want to know, don't ask."
Dec. 2, 2010 5:02 am
Very good blog BN! (Or should I say Banana too?)
Dec. 2, 2010 5:22 am
Bravo! That was perfectly written and so very true!
Dec. 2, 2010 5:49 am
Ahhhh, Ba'Nana, you are ever so wise. It is so true. Even our unintended remarks can hurt when we don't fully explain ourselves, as I've found out, too. We sometime just have to sit back and consider that there is maybe a point to the other side. We are, after all, just a family.
Dec. 2, 2010 6:16 am
Well done, BN. I've been mia for a few days, so not sure what this is in reference to, but things are so easily "misunderstood". We all have our own opinions and TASTES. What tastes good to me, may taste yucky to someone else. No reason to be upset. Two people can witness the same event, and yet describe it differently. It doesn't mean someone is "wrong", they just interpret it differently. I think most people here are good and kind. It's the differences that help us to think outside the box. C'est la vie! ♥
Dec. 2, 2010 7:04 am
I have always said if we all like the same things the world would be so boring... I don't even like Prego.... you all would have to switch over to Ragu!!!! I hope that didn't hurt your feelings, BN! lol Just joking, of course! Great Blog!!!!!
Dec. 2, 2010 7:13 am
Agreed. But on the flip side, It does seem that there more than a few occasions that the thick skin is necessary only because a post uses too strong of words (dumb, idiot, bad cook, etc) that wouldn't be considered good manners in any "conversation" regardless of tone. And if you want to know how bad dinner was, just ask any man in my family--except the hubby:)
Dec. 2, 2010 7:34 am
I agree Nana, tough skin is needed if you want to post on the web. I have read other sites where people post how they TRULY feel. This site is VERY supportive for the most part. But we all come from different parts of the world, different cultures, etc. I have made some comments that may have offended, but I am terrible for offering my opinion. If you openly ask for something, then accept the fact that not everyone is going to hold your hand and offer a shoulder. Sometimes a "suck it up or put on your big girl panties" is needed. Some are great with words-some are blunt. With age comes some wisdom and since we are all different ages and at different maturity levels, there will be many opinions. I offer advice according to what the person has posted, if they are acting like my 18 year old, then they get the same answer as I would give my 18 year old. Diversity is good, it brings things into perspective. Thanks for the blog, sometimes I get so wrapped up on the board with people I feel I know, that when a comment is made, it is taken out of context. You are right Linda-name calling is not needed at all.
Dec. 2, 2010 7:39 am
Thank you, BNana, for reminding us that suggestions and critiques are not personal attacks on us or our skills and that offhand comments can easily be misinterpreted. If you must disagree, a little kindness and a lot of tact goes a long way.
Dec. 2, 2010 8:17 am
Very well said! Thank you!
Dec. 2, 2010 8:51 am
Ba'Nana - well my previous comments were all posted prior to seeing the potential brouhaha that caused it all. Now that I have seen it, I feel like a dork - but that's not unusual for me :) I think everyone should, as Redneck Gramma so eloquently put it, put on their big girl panties. I find generally this is an incredibly supportive experience compared to the rest of the blogosphere, and I always go for the most respectful interpretation of someone's comments. Thanks everyone for taking the time, and being brave enough to blog your opinions.
Dec. 2, 2010 8:55 am
OH Baking Nana, God Love ya! Nough said! Hugs and Kisses. THANK YOU for a Big shot of reality and Truth:) Love, Patty
Dec. 2, 2010 10:45 am
Thanks for the comments folks. I like the "put on your big girl panties." :) Hugs to one and all.
Dec. 2, 2010 3:14 pm
Well said! I have a friend with an ill mother and the care falls on her, always, despite having sibs. She says, "I just pulled up my big girl panties and took care of the problem despite not having....(fill in the blank she has had lots of things to deal with over the years)!"
Dec. 2, 2010 5:48 pm
You rock, Baking Nana. I think you're right and I envy the way you can just put everything so plain and on point. Thanks.
Dec. 2, 2010 6:40 pm
Cat - I have often found that the people I admire most are the ones that just take care of business. This site is great - but if it were gone tomorrow - I would survive. It brings me joy - not at the expense of others but for what I hope I am contributing. If a little banter hurts feels - then that person is too invested. As things go - on the internet - this is a great site - a good fit for me.
Dec. 2, 2010 6:43 pm
Linnie - I have never been one to mince words but I do try to be kind. I am not always the most diplomic person - but sometimes a person just has to say what they have to say. If people don't want my opinion - then don't ask! BTW - I have told all my adult kids that same thing.
Dec. 3, 2010 3:23 pm
Well said Baking Nana! This is my favorite website. Happy holidays.
Dec. 3, 2010 4:37 pm
Thank you, Baking Nana! This is such very good advice, and I like "pull up your big girl panties" too. Think I will adopt that saying with some in my family! I have always tried to be kind and thoughtful when I speak and know that at times, especially on the internet when words can be taken in the wrong way. I have always said "I am not smart enought to be insulted," I almost never get my feelings hurt. I know everyone had a different opinion and that is the way it should be. This "family" we have here is exceptional in the closeness and helpfulness that is mostly shown here. OKAY, I will get off my soapbox now!!!....Ginny
Dec. 4, 2010 4:06 am
Very good blog! I so agree that when someone posts on the 'net they are going to have to expect to get both good and bad criticism; and just accept what is said. Nobody said you have to take anyone's word as gospel. I love the "pull up your big girl panties"! And B'Nana - I agree with you - while I enjoy this site immensely, if it disappeared tomorrow I would survive; and those who feel they wouldn't really need to poke their heads out into the real world every once in a while and have some interaction face-to-face with people. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but name-calling is really not necessary and that's something we all should have learned before we went to kindergarten. Anyways... thanks for the blog and Happy Holidays!
Dec. 4, 2010 4:41 am
Hi BN - well said!
Dec. 4, 2010 9:59 am
Thank you for the giggle this morning, I do use the "suck it up and put on your big girl panties". Unfortunately the last time I used that quote, it was in the heat of an argument with my Australian hubby....there was a shocked silence from both of us and then we both laughed until I had to run to the bathroom.
Dec. 4, 2010 10:01 am
PS...he told me he wasn't that sort of boy! :)
Dec. 4, 2010 10:06 am
Excellent blog, Baking Nana! I agree with you, for the most part, but I do have to point out that I have seen people be intentionally cruel and, no matter how thick your skin is or what size your big girl panties are, that hurts. I do agree that posting something anywhere on the internet opens yourself up to that kind of thing, though. It's too bad there are a few people out there who seem determined to ruin an awesome experience for the vast majority of participants. I'm sure glad it's a relatively rare occurrence, cuz I sure do love this site and all the friends I've made here :-)
Dec. 4, 2010 11:27 am
Hello everyone! I used to be religious to this site till I had a slip on ice and have had 2 back surgeries waiting for 3rd. So I spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Finally accepting what is. So I'm back and thrilled to see there is blogs. Nothing better then tallkin with the girls (sorry any men) I really was thinking reading this and I feel that the vast majority truly appreciate the time others take to submit recipes. What a boring world it would be if we all had same taste. There are people that are just miserable 24/7 and like to try to take others down so I have pity if they have to be cynical instead of critiquing reviews. I'm sure for every 1 degrading review there are 100 appreciative after my major rambling attack just wanna say don't let the harsh reviewer bring you down to their level! Ah..glad to be back :)
Dec. 4, 2010 3:53 pm
BEing new to this area, I am not sure what "happened" but something I used to tell me kids, (and they learned after awhile not to say "that's not fair") When they would whine and cry over something or someone doing something that "wasn't fair", I would simply state, "the Fair is in September" (that is when our OK State Fair is each year). Other than that, not much in life is fair and you just have to make the most of what you are dealt. May not BE exactly on point, but seemed appropriate? I find it sad when people feel the need to "attack" others when commenting. Like several have said, we all have different tastes, likes and dislikes (thankfully!). Much has to do with upbringing, cultures, and/or just opinions. BEing new here I haven't commented much or reviewed but on other sites when I review something whether it BE PRO or CON, I try to just simply state the reasons for my opinion and NOT attack. Thank you B'nana, from what I've seen you have a lot of followers who adore you and I am glad I found you. (even tho you think I'm a Dad? trust me, I am a Mom through and through ; ) LOL I think that most comments that sound negative "might" BE unintentional but it is sad that there are some out there that are not happy and want to try and make sure no one else is either. Ok, I've rambled enough ; ) Good cooking to all!!! One more thing though, I would MUCH rather BE hurt by HONESTY than by a lie. I don't want to hear something is GREAT if you only think it's okay? (or worse) I can get over an HONEST comment much faster than a dishonest one. (and I don't mean nasty ranting, raving comments, which I would try to disregard altogether as someone sad and hurting themselves trying to hurt others-not gonna let them hurt me ; ) I can handle, "that has too much salt, not enough this, should have that, etc.?" BE Well my NEW friends!!!
Dec. 4, 2010 5:31 pm
Thanks for writing this blog Ba'Nana! I've wondered for some time what all the fuss has been about with hurt feelings on this site. Probably my age, or that I was a teacher for years, and then a Realtor. Or I'm just oblivious! Life experience and certain professions tend to thicken up and toughen the skin. Certainly face-to-face communication can be tempered with facial expressions, i.e. wink of the eye and smiling, while the emotionless, gesture-less counterpart seems mean or unkind. I just love you all and don't take anything personally. I hope I've never been taken as mean or unkind by anything I've WRITTEN on the buzz or a blog. Thanks again BN!
Dec. 4, 2010 8:49 pm
HAHAHAHA!! Thank you, REDCWOLF, for the good laugh. Hehehehe
Dec. 4, 2010 10:37 pm
Change of topic - looking for a good caramel recipe for caramel apples. Seems like all the recipes I find say "unwrap caramels"? I used to have a really good recipe (that clung well to the apples but wasn't too chewy/sticky), but have lost it. Anyone have one or direct me to one here? Thanks in advance!!!! BE Well my friends!!!
Dec. 4, 2010 10:58 pm
i am newhere. but i should say, new to interacting. been lookig thru recipes here for a long time. recently found the buzz and blog. from what i see here, you are all great people! i recently tryed a dish that was not in the norm for my family,(wanted to try something from a diffrent ethnic) i made the dish and went to work, left it for hubby and son. i called home to see what thy thought. hubby said it was good. not great, not def make this agian. well that left me wondering if it was good at all. when i asked my son (in front of his girlfriend ) he said it was bland and pritty flavorless . his girlfriend was so upsset with him! how could he say that after i cooked all day. let me tell you his answer was better than the one hubby gave (trying to be nice)
Dec. 4, 2010 11:09 pm
sorry that was long, but my point being i would rather have honesty than someone trying to avoid hurt feelings . sorry using my daughters computer and on screen keyboard. never used before so if spelling is off sorry . my motto life is tough , get a helmet !! i like put on your big girl panties ! here is another one we live by, take the skirt off, and suck it up.
Dec. 5, 2010 1:04 am
Hey, ditto for those types of mo-in-law loved, loved, loved my Prego based spaghetti and my grandkids only love a different kind of grandma's spaghetti (sans bell peppers and onions). Ditto for the iceberg lettuce with ranch...there are lots of people out there who will never acquire the taste for oak-barrel wine or arugula....!!
Dec. 5, 2010 2:21 am
nicely said!
Dec. 5, 2010 5:42 am
What cracks me up when your recipe gets posted and then people change it into a whole different recipe which only resembles a few ingredients in the original and rate you with a 2 star. BTW - My mother-in-law is called Nana Banana ( an most of the time shortened to just Banana ) by all her kids, grand kids and great grandchildren. She loves it !
Dec. 5, 2010 6:00 am
I have noticed some of those too Janat - lol Like when someone says, "I have a dress just like that! EXCEPT it's a different color, the neckline, is higher, mine is pleated, the sleeves are longer, it has another design on it, but other than that? IT'S THE SAME!!!" Makes ya go - hmmmmmmmmmm??? BE Well my friends!!!!
Dec. 5, 2010 7:08 am
You have a great heart and such a sweet disposition. Sure would be nice if you could bottle that stuff! We all live in a Brunswick Stew here at this site. Not everybody makes a good stew! Thanks BN for putting the lid on it!! ;)
Dec. 5, 2010 7:44 am
Grumpy47 - sorry I thought you were a man! Geez - I don't know how I came to that conclusion.
Dec. 5, 2010 7:45 am
Thanks for all the comments! I love "The Fair is in September" I will remember that. :)
Dec. 5, 2010 8:23 am
Another nice "common sense" blog, Baking Nana. To go along with the "family" theme, though, too, in my family, attacks and disrespect aren't tolerated but disagreements and debates are welcome. There ARE nasty people on this forum, perhaps fewer at the moment than in the past, but they are out there, just like every other public forum. Is that going to stop? Of course not, but there are ways to deal with it respectfully. Ignore instead of poke behavior you deem annoying. Just like with tantrum throwing children, if you ignore them, it will either stop or you will get use to hearing it in the background. ;) And, the same goes for those "pokers"...people that follow others around for NO reason but to be nasty... ignoring that behavior is fine, too, but it would also do you well to remember that person is capable of such, in your future interactions. Oh, and my final addition... my final, final... remember, where this is NOT like a family is that we don't all "know" each other as well as some like to believe... many of us are off board friends with other members, but, in general, it is a room full of mostly strangers or unknown acquaintances... keep that in mind when letting loose or giving personal information. I know of one case, in particular, several years ago... a woman came on to rant about her husband and discussed possibly having an affair... and her sister in law, unbeknown to her, was also a member and recognized enough of the details... can you say OUCH?! I can only ever hope people are smart and respectful... general kindness would be nice, too. ;)
Dec. 5, 2010 9:04 am
Amen Keni!!!
Dec. 5, 2010 9:09 am
btw - no problem for the mistaken identity B'nana ; ) Funny I have extremely thick skin here on the net and yet in real life am a bit "sensitive" and wear my emotions on my sleeves. I need to toughen up in real life and maybe this is my way of "practice". Thanks for the help!!!! LOL
Dec. 5, 2010 10:41 am
Personally, I think that my decision to not actively participate in the Buzz is doing exactly what you're saying needs to be done...ignoring the bad stuff. All the whining, the sniping, the offering of insults or insinuation thinly disguised as "opinions" -- who needs it? I've chosen to keep my participation to a bare minimum. I plan to continue reading some posts, to peruse reviews and blogs and to save and make recipes on my own. I still take lots and lots of photos of my cupcakes and some other foods, but I keep them to myself, occasionally posting them on my off-site blog. Like Keni said, it's a common sense solution to my own problem. Have a great week!
Dec. 5, 2010 12:33 pm
What Keni said.... with one addition. "Can't we all just get along?"
Dec. 5, 2010 1:39 pm
Thanks for saying it like it is!! *two thumbs up!!*
Dec. 5, 2010 1:56 pm
Speaking of different tastes, I'll never forget the Christmas at my inlaws when my brother-in-law commented on how much better the mostaccioli was that year then the previous. I burst out laughing and said "that's because I made it last year and mom made it this year". I was taught to make it with lots of sauce and they always have it with a small amount and bake it so it's crispy on top. We had a good laugh about that one, but they all loved my desserts.
Dec. 5, 2010 8:24 pm
ElCay this blog wasn't about you in particular .... just in general - but if you don't find this site a good fit - I understand - but why the "I am out of here...." thread? Is that not just seeking attention?
Dec. 5, 2010 11:17 pm
I love this post B'Nana (actually I do all of them!!!) and redneck gramma's post was so well put!! To add my two bits ~~ When I started cooking, initally I'd feel really grumpy if my dad/mom/sister didn't have a raving review for what I'd my defense, I was only 14 when I started out. 6 years hence and I'm SO THANKFUL for honest reviews, comments etc from both family and all you AR lovelies! Ofcourse, there are those who want to be particularly vindictive and mean when they say stuff but you've got to be able to filter the unwanted and no get affected by unnecessary trash! Well that's my opinion atleast. :)
Dec. 5, 2010 11:20 pm
Oh Grumpy47 and Janat!! Touché about how people tend to alter things around and claim to have not changed a thing!!
Dec. 6, 2010 6:00 am
Well, I agree with you. At our dinner table, the older children have to eat what I serve them, they are always hungry and the younger ones if they pick at it, I know they'll make up for it in the next meals. Also, of the older people, they aren't allowed to say anything negative unless they made it! It has helped me to get over the disappointment of cooking for hours sometimes then having comments like, this is gross, I don't like this, and then feeling my heart sink after all the work and effort. I could tell if they don't like it though, and that's fine. My husband will eat any concoction I make and often make gourmet meals I know only he and I would like. So I give the kids just enough to sample it and make them a little something else. It's fun to try out new things. We like savoury and the little ones like sweet.
Dec. 6, 2010 6:05 am
Well this reciently worked out for the better for me. I was making dinner and trying to get the house decorated for christmas so I skimped and got my emergency box of Jiffy Corn Bread out of the pantry instead of making from scratch. We my husband said this is great what did you do different. I told him and instead of being offended that he chose box over homemade I no longer have to measure, dirty dishes and put all the extra work into corn bread I just have to get a box out of the cupbord and spend the rest of the time with my family.
Dec. 6, 2010 7:51 am
Brilliant blog Miss Baking Nana. Thanks for the wisdom.
Dec. 6, 2010 10:33 am
I heartily agree. Now if I could just be able to not take it personal when someone doesn't like something I cook. I'm trying though! I love your wisdom about not pleasing everyone. I had a rough night Saturday DJing, people were requesting everything, I tried to please everyone but you just can't. As it is with everything in life. Thank you for this blog Nana!
Dec. 6, 2010 10:42 am
It's just like the "Laughin' Place" metaphor I am so fond of: "Everybody has a laughing place, problem is most folks won't take the time to go looking for it. And where it is for mightn't be for another." (Thank you, Uncle Remus!)
Dec. 6, 2010 3:42 pm
Baking Nana, yes, of course, my post was to get the attention of people at the Buzz that I have interacted with. I wanted to let them know I wouldn't be around like I had been. I'm confused...isn't that why people post anything OT?
Dec. 6, 2010 6:22 pm
Yes - we post to let the world know what we are up to....but honestly - this blog wasn't really about was more of a general message. Be careful what you put out there - not all are going to agree - and if you don't like the chatter that comes with that - well - either put on your thick skin or choose to not post. Yes - there are mean and horrid people that post - here - most aren't. Most people here share a bond of food and familiy. That is what I am here to cherish.
Dec. 6, 2010 6:25 pm
OK. I didn't post here to make this all about me. I was merely responding to the initial post the first time and answering your question the second time. I'm sorry you seem to feel I'm seeking attention or being annoying. Enjoy your Monday night.
Dec. 6, 2010 7:20 pm
See this is "my" problem ... ElCay -I don't see this as being as "I'm seeking attention or being annoying." You are great & have a lot to offer- if others posted things that you didn't take kindly to .... well that is their OPINION. Just that - it doesn't make anyone right or wrong. :/ (BTW - I have never seen the original post that prompted this ruckus about the owl.... sigh...)
Dec. 6, 2010 8:36 pm
I'm sorry, you've totally lost me. But it's ok...not a big deal.
Dec. 6, 2010 10:39 pm
This is not directed at anyone in particular - just food for thought.....One thing both mental and spiritual illness have in common: They mistakenly believe that something which has nothing to do with them is all about them.
Dec. 7, 2010 12:38 am
What owl?
Dec. 7, 2010 7:15 am
I love googel....
Dec. 7, 2010 7:50 am
the follow up... ... basically punch in, elcay, I'm leaving and there are many
Dec. 7, 2010 9:35 am
@redneck - do you have a purpose for posting the links or do you just like to stir the pot? I wonder if Witchy Woman would recognize your M.O... you did the same thing to her.
Dec. 7, 2010 9:50 am
Well Belles-Baking Nana said she did not see the post, and Swchef was asking about the owl, how is this stirring the pot? By showing WHAT was written? WW would definitely recognize the same M.O.
Dec. 7, 2010 10:32 am
We've seen a lot of good people leave because of hurt feelings. New people come in and don't know the history of others. This has always been a group of people who laughed and sometimes cried together. It makes me sad to see hurt feelings.
Dec. 7, 2010 11:37 am
Well said Baking Nana! Somehow I always miss the drama but in reality its probably a good thing. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut when I think things aren't right. And there in that sentence lies the problem. What I THINK isn't necessarily what everyone else thinks. Having said that lets put our big girl panties on, quit griping and COOK! Life is too short to start cat fights over the internet.
Dec. 7, 2010 12:13 pm
i love everyone here, i never know whats going on, but what i do know is in the past year there have been several times that i needed yall... about food and about life. and everytime i haxd the support and love of you ladies. this group has brought me up in a very down time in my life and i honestly dont know what i would do without you. ive had a scuffle or 2 with ppl here but you know what? we both got over it, and i consider us to be fine now. the thing about family is you are going to disagree, no questions about it. but u can still accept each other whether you agree or not.
Dec. 7, 2010 1:15 pm
@redneck... yes, she would and that's one reason why she's not here anymore and why we can no longer enjoy her life in an RV series or her personality - both of which were enjoyed by many. Now she's gone.. fed up with mean-spirited people and their constant negative commentary. @Nooney.. it's one thing to have a disagreement or a "scuffle", but it's an entirely different matter when the commentary becomes direct, deliberate, and intended to lash out, belittle and hurt another human being. Some people find it amusing to humiliate others here.. I do not. I don't blame someone for not wanting to remain here. It is not a very welcoming place at times.
Dec. 7, 2010 1:32 pm
I've seen recently ppl make comments about other's who were clearly disabled and I've asked for recipes because of a surplus i had of one ingredient and have had someone comment they didn't understand the purpose of my request. I don't take those things personally - but I can see how someone "thinner" skinned would. I just think that if you don't have something helpful to say that pertains to the request - just say nothing.
Dec. 7, 2010 3:00 pm
Amen. In my 10 years of browsing the internet in general, I've had my feelings hurt and made lots of new friends. I haven't had the blogging bug hit me yet on here (so much interesting stuff is posted with so many past experiences - I would just be too boring and come across as a newbie for most!) I do, however, love reading other posts and contributing to them when I can. I never leave rude comments - if I can help or if I can lend a friendly comment I will. But if I don't agree or see something brewing, I'll just continue on without leaving my mark. No sense in being rude/crass just for the heck of it (I still don't get what people see out of doing it, on here or in the general public.) Anyways, hopefully some will take to heart what you wrote and think before they type. But there will always be those who don't - they just have to be taken with a grain of salt :)
Dec. 7, 2010 4:09 pm
Redneck...this blog isn't about me. So what are you doing?
Dec. 7, 2010 4:23 pm
"there are many" ~*~ Are there now?
Dec. 7, 2010 6:52 pm
I'm going to wade in here and say my piece on this subject, no matter how unpopular it may be. Baking Nana...I get what you're saying about the recipe reviews and such, and I agree with you 100%. Not everyone likes the same things and what tastes good to me might taste like cr@p to you. It's just the way things are, plain, pure and simple. I have absolutely no problem if a person makes a recipe of mine and doesn't like's to be expected. And on to the rest of the subject. RNG is absolutely right, too...everyone is entitled to their opinion. I agree with that wholeheartedly. What I don't agree with is the stalking, skulking BS that sometimes comes along with making that opinion understood. I don't agree with creating a multitude of identities because you're too chicken-sh!t to post under your main profile. I don't agree with harassing a person and the low-blows that I see dealt on this website. I'm sure plenty of people thought I pulled my blog off of here because of hurt feelings, and, you know, that really is just not it. I pulled my blog off of AR because dealing with hateful comments (and I'm talking about comments that had no place being said on this website) and deleting them off of my blogs became almost like a full time job. It became a game to those who were participating, and you know who you are and that's all I need to say about that. It's not about "me vs. them", it never was. What makes me just shake my head and wonder about people is the amount of hypocrasy that I have seen on this site by a few select members. I'm not naming names, they know who I'm talking about and if they want to rat themselves out just as they did the last time, I'll just sit back and laugh, just like I did the last time. It was rather amusing. But imagine this scenario: You can say it the high heavens and not everyone is going to get it. Feelings will be hurt and, you know, depending on the cr@p pitched at that person, you don't know what they might do. Really. Think about would you truly feel if you are shoving your opinion down a person's throat, for the simple fact that you have the RIGHT to do that only to be told, on down the line, that he/she was found hanging at the end of a rope. How are you going to feel about that? Maybe keep that in mind before posting something. There is no reason that there can't be a modicum of politeness on this site. I know there can be, I've seen it. I've been a member of AR for more than a couple of years now and I remember how it used to be back in the day. This junk wasn't even an issue. No, I know that this site can't be a utopia, and I know people are going to disagree, and that's ok...what I'm talking about is far deeper than that, and I know a lot of you will know exactly what I am talking about and probably a lot of you won't and I'm not going into the sordid details of it all...I'm moving on, all do the same! Good blog, Baking Nana, thank you for posting it.
Dec. 7, 2010 7:04 pm
Thank you...
Dec. 7, 2010 7:04 pm
To those who don't respond with a criticism, negative comment or little "dig", thank you.
Dec. 7, 2010 7:11 pm
Good thoughts, Witchy Woman...but your name does not match your persona. So sad that words are sometimes not kind, when they can do so much good
Dec. 7, 2010 7:12 pm
@Redneck- I hope you don't feel badly about posting the reference. I looked it up.
Dec. 7, 2010 7:40 pm
Well - I didn't intend for this blog to bring up the ugly past - it was intended to encourage tolerance. There are families and children that are loosing their homes - right before Christmas. (Not that there is a good time for these things.) There are people who don't know if they will be able to pay the gas and electric and we are here....warm and cozy - dreaming of Ginger Bread Houses and Entertaining friends for the holidays. Blessings to everyone.....peace and goodwill & most of all understanding.
Dec. 7, 2010 7:58 pm
BTW - WW - I am very sorry that your blogs were attacked - that you were attacked. A lot of lessons were learned through that experience. Peace!
Dec. 7, 2010 8:16 pm
I agree with you 100% Baking Nana. I actually come here a lot of the time to escape all the negativity on other websites. Its going to be everywhere, I guess, its just better to find the good and if negativity occurs, do what's best for you. WW - I recall reading many of your entries awhile back and I loved every one of them. I'm sad to know you had to quit blogging here as it was one of my favorites to read (the different meals each week were pure genius.)
Dec. 7, 2010 8:18 pm
(And after posting my original response, I read over the other posts. I didn't realize there was an ongoing conflict among some members but I was not trying to stir the pot if it came across as that.) Just posted my overall view on the subject.
Dec. 7, 2010 8:19 pm
And peace and Happy Holidays right back atcha, Baking Nana, I hope you and your family have a great holiday season.
Dec. 7, 2010 8:30 pm
You too WW. :)
Dec. 7, 2010 8:59 pm
Faith: I did quit blogging here, but I didn't quit blogging. I'm winding down to my last 10 countries and then I'll be starting a new project. I apologize but I won't blog over here anymore, main reason...I can't have my music playlist over here...LOL!
Dec. 7, 2010 9:16 pm
Hey music is a must (always blasting mine from playlist while on here.) Thanks so much for the link - bookmarking it now. I have some reading to catch up on :)
Dec. 7, 2010 9:28 pm
Well said, you all! Merry Christmas, Baking Nana! ♥
Dec. 7, 2010 10:03 pm
Merry Christmas Cindy! Wishing the best for you and Danny.
Dec. 8, 2010 6:12 am
Hi BN! I know what you mean, sometimes I dont rate the recipes because I just didnt like the recipe, not for any specific reasons other than that it just wasnt right for me. I know some people will say to still rate it, but people seem to get very offeneded that you dont like the same things as them. After having a few published recipes and getting some bad reviews, ive just let it go and I know not everyone loves what I do. So anyhow, Happy Holidays to you and your family :)
Leo's mom 
Dec. 8, 2010 7:11 am
Dear Baking Nana, your advice not only applies to cooking but to life in general!!
Dec. 8, 2010 7:21 am
I think every recipe here deserves to be rated. Not rating them seems to defeat the purpose of this site and does a disservice to other members. I really appreciate seeing other peoples mistakes, suggestions and alternatives.. it can really save a dish for me. Besides, if someone goes to all the trouble to post a recipe here, the least I can do is rate it.
Dec. 8, 2010 8:44 am
BellesAZ - although I agree that some reviews are really helpful others are a waste of time and skew the ratings. To rate a recipe 1 star and then just say "I won't make again." Is not helpful at all. I usually read the low ratings and then decide if they are valid. There are trolls who just like to mess with people and that is a shame.
Dec. 8, 2010 8:54 am
Hey All!! I'm new to this forum. I really appreciate the discussion on "thick skin" A coating of Kindness is always appreciated of course, but I'll take a dollop of truth any day...keeps us real :)
Dec. 8, 2010 10:07 am
Welcome Tanya - thanks for stopping by. I like the way you put that - "a coating of kindness & a dollop of truth." :)
Dec. 8, 2010 11:40 am
Very nice blog, Baking Nana! @ Witchy Woman, I remember your blogs, but I never realized how important this site was for you. I hope you are not referring to yourself hanging at the end of the rope. If so, please call the hotline in your area. I have become a huge lurker as well. I remember many huge scenerios over the years. I am so glad you have found peace and came back to tell us all. Baking Nana, I wish you peace and happiness for the holiday.
Dec. 8, 2010 12:05 pm
No, Kathy, I'm not referring to myself at all, I'm referring to someone who may not have a thick skin, and, by the time you find that out it's too late, and that's all I'm trying to say about that. The news, of late, has been full of people like that. But in this wide, wide world of opinions, I'm just pointing out some realistic facts and asking people to think their actions through to the end. You don't know what these people are like, you can say to get a thick skin all you want, and, in theory, it's a great idea...but in reality, it's not the way it is. I used to really enjoy this site, and I do come back from time to time and read my friends' blogs and look for recipes, hell, I may even post a request...but, Kathy, you don't even begin to know the depths of malice some are capable of and I don't care to rehash it all. So, to put your mind at ease, I, absolutely, was NOT referring to myself with that statement. As I said, it's not about me vs. them, it never was. I am just trying to raise awareness. Think before you post. If something like were to happen...does it really matter (REALLY) what the he!! your opinion was? Is there an end to the lengths one will go to get it across? I would hope nobody using this site would EVER carry out that fatalistic scenario, but, in reality, it could happen. Just sayin!
Dec. 8, 2010 12:07 pm
But, again, I will repeat...I'm going to say my peice on this subject, no matter how unpopular it is.
Dec. 8, 2010 12:19 pm
I can't resist mentioning that I like Classico the best (pasta sauce). You all are discussing people issues but somehow I got stuck on the Prego vs. Ragu comments. If you mix Classico's Spicy sauce(the one with the pine nuts and garlic) with their Four Cheese sauce, it comes out perfect IMO. Not too spicy for the kids and not boringly cheese flavored for the adults. Now, everyone stop laughing at my version of making something from scratch.
Dec. 8, 2010 1:32 pm
eappro - :) You made me smile with that one. The spaghetti sauce debate rages on in our family. BTW - the Picky family likes Prego. :)
Dec. 8, 2010 2:36 pm
Long-time reader and very infrequent commenter here: this site has had it's share of drama queens over the years, but I must say, Ms. Witchywoman, you were and continue to be quite the overachiever. Your martyrdom is the stuff legends are made of. Looking forward to your next post.
Dec. 8, 2010 3:38 pm
Wow...I am blown away by the tragically poor attitudes on what I was hoping would be a positive experience as I continue on my journey of learning to create great food. I have never posted here, but was curious about the number 1 blog...what I am reading here has me completely turned off of this site. I have read some good comments from people who seem to have their hearts abs brains in the right place. Witchy Woman seems to have negative history here, but I have seen and TRIED many, many of her recipes. That gal sure knows her way around the kitchen. As well, Baking Nana has some great recipes, and I have learned so much. Today, I have an entirely new idea of what All Recipes is all is about launching attacks, nattering, and lobbing pock shots. Why?? Does this give your life meaning, or does it take joy out Chocolate Lover? How about you, Kathy Cook? Bullying, online, in blogs, and in real life should be a real concern of EVERY responsible person. The truth is, you can't tell another person what to feel, what their intentions are, etc. The bald truth is that people get hurt, and people feel pain, and (sadly)sometimes they react to the pain in devastating's all over the news. Please people, be kind when posting your opinions and remember that words can slice like daggers. As for me, I have better things to do with my life than to attack others. Heck, I may even take up sponge painting, DEB. Cook well,be well, and I hope ALL of you are richly blessed in the coming year. Adios...heading to the Betty Crocker site.
Dec. 8, 2010 4:04 pm
suesido - No AllRecipes isn't about launching attacks and nattering. It really is a great big kitchen. We won't all agree (just like my family) and there are mean people with nothing better to do. (Aren't those people every where?) All in all this is a great supportive group. Everyone is free to scroll on by the catty posts - Peace and tolerance please.
Dec. 8, 2010 4:07 pm
Just one more thing. In all the blogs I have done I have only deleted a handful of posts...advertisements - and one that attacked our service men and women - on the blog I did about "My Hero" Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Dec. 8, 2010 4:09 pm
"No Response" is always a choice. By not responding - you are making a statement. :)
Dec. 8, 2010 4:14 pm
Quite right, BN. However, by staying silent about bullying makes one as bad as the bully. I said my piece. Thank you for your positive reply.
Dec. 8, 2010 4:18 pm
Oh - you are so right - I didn't mean to tolerate the bullying - just don't add to it. Don't fuel the fire. As my Mum said, "If you can't bring something postive to the debate - keep your mouth shut."
Dec. 8, 2010 6:03 pm
Well at least "most" of the responses have been positive. But Nana- you don't seem to lose it-good for all of us to see that. I am holding my tongue right now- lol!! Can SOMEBODY please respond with humour? Let this blog finish on a good note??
Dec. 8, 2010 6:21 pm
Knock Knock Who's there? Tad! Tad who? Tad's all folks!
Dec. 8, 2010 8:48 pm
Good one SD - Thank You! Tad's All Folks!
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Baking Nana

Living In
Corona, California, USA

Member Since
Aug. 2009

Cooking Level

Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Frying, Stir Frying, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Italian, Healthy, Quick & Easy

Gardening, Hiking/Camping, Camping, Boating, Walking, Fishing, Photography, Music, Charity Work

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About Me
Every morning my granddaughter calls and says, "Good morning Nana. Whatcha doing? Are you baking Nana?" Hence my name, Baking Nana. I love to bake bread and never get tired of it. Yeast is additive! Visit me at If you would like to contact me directly please use the 'Contact Me' on my site.
My favorite things to cook
I go through phases, Asian for a while then Italian then on to something else. I love experimenting with new flavors and different spices. Some times my husband will ask if we will ever have "ordinary" food again. Once in a while I have to toss him a burger just to keep quite! Actually, he is a good sport and my favorite taste tester.
My favorite family cooking traditions
In our family if it is your birthday you get to choose the menu. We have had some really interesting meals. In March we have 5 birthdays so we do one big party - what a crazy menu that is! Christmas dinner is very traditional. Sausage rolls, Prime Rib, Yorkshire Pudding, gravy, Green beans with bacon, Mashed Potatoes (the really fattening kind) and trifle for dessert. If I were to dare to omit any of those items I would be lynched.
My cooking triumphs
Mastering really great bread is probably my biggest triumph. I am always so pleased when I create a perfect Asian dish.
My cooking tragedies
There have been a few but none so horrible that I can't laugh about them now.
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