Stb And Other Treasures From The Mid-West - No one can stop this beat of mine Blog at Allrecipes.com - 256234

No one can stop this beat of mine

STB and other treasures from the Mid-West 
 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:45 am 
Updated: Oct. 22, 2013 2:11 pm

In one innocent moment out of the blue, when you least expect it, something comes tumbling out of someone's mouth so unexpectedly that it catches you so off guard, that hysterical laughter ensues. This is exactly what happened on Sunday, Oct. 23 when Magnolia Blossom graced the state of Oregon with her down to earth, Mid-Western style, wit and humor.


By now, you've probably had a chance to read Candice's blog, and Magnolia Blossom's blog . You will know we had a good time. You will know about the sights we saw. You will know about food we ate. You will know Portland proudly wears it's badge of honor and is genuinely proud of their "weirdness", but what you don't know about is some of the hilariously funny moments we had. One such moment was the blurting out of a saying to a situation that I honestly don't even remember. What I do remember is 4 women in a car and a lovely lady from Illinois in her most calm voice, declaring "well $*%t the bed"....What did she just say???? It was one of those moments that suddenly we just couldn't control ourselves. The more we laughed, the funnier it got. And no matter how many times you said it, it somehow took on a life of it's own. She said it was one of her dad's expressions and something she always heard growing up.


I'm sure on many occasions in her adult life, she's had an occasion to pull this and many other gems out of her memory bank. This of course got me thinking about regional sayings and expressions. I don't necessarily consider myself a wordsmith, but I do love the written word, and the spoken word. What I really like though is regional dialects and expressions and the stories of their origins. Every area of this country has it's own unique dialect and form of self expression. With it's home spun, folksy, charming way some of my favorites come from the Mid-west. The following are deeply rooted and firmly planted in America's bread basket (this is a food site after all)


"Hotter than a two dollar pistol", translates to, 'mad'

"Busier than a 3 legged cat covering his poop", translates to, 'busy'

"As worthless as a 1 legged guy in an a$$ kicking contest",  translates to, 'good for nothing'

"Hosed", translates to 'screwed'

"Happier than a pig in a poke", translates to 'happy'

"Putting on the dog", translates to, 'trying to impress'

"Finer than frog's hair", translates to 'fancy'

"Living high on the hog", translates to 'fancy lifestyle'

"Got you over a barrel", translates to....see hosed

"Go off half cocked", translates to 'half baked idea'...remember food site :)

"Put the screws to...." translates to, 'cheating someone' (usually ends with someone getting hosed)

"Stay in the truck", translates to, 'I've got this situation under control'

"Workin' like a stink bug rolling a turd uphill", translates to 'working hard'

"Sell the farm", translates to 'give up'

"Bought the farm", translates to 'died'

"Deader than a door nail", translates to 'dead'

"Colder than a well digger's butt", translates to 'pretty darn cold'

"A couple three", translates to 'a small quantity

"Two shakes of a dog's tail", translates to 'a short amount of time'

"Make hay while the sun shines", translates to 'doing something at the appropriate time'

"Strike while the iron is hot", translates to 'do something quickly'

"Long row to hoe", translates to 'a difficult task'


Then there are the wholesome words like "Cripes".....As in "oh for Cripes sake" , or Holy Moly, (not to be confused with Mole), and no, I'm not making fun of anyone, cuz sure as shootin', I don't want to burn in heck!


Share with me some of your favorites.

 
Comments
Maggi 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:06 am
Holy Toledo!! many translations & uses - Wow! is good...
 
Gitano 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:11 am
I am trying to come up with something from my neck of the woods...let me think on it! Pretty cool ones you have listed above though :D great blog chica!
 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:13 am
Great Googly Moogly - Utterance of great surprise.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:15 am
Great Googly Moogly http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSAXLayoMKI
 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:37 am
The second one on the list reminded me of something my midwestern dad used to say: "Busier than a long-tale cat in a room full of rockin' chairs." My in-laws were from Oklahoma, and they had their own words and phrases. One that comes to mind sounded like "pure-d" as in "That meal was pure-d good eatin'." I have no idea where that came from, but it meant truly or completely. I enjoy that kind of phraseology. So much more colorful!
 
Nov. 8, 2011 9:59 am
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen - translates to if the pressure is too much for you let someone else take on the task.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 10:08 am
"Slap his (her) head!"- Somebody needs correcting. ... "The dog bit the wrong a_s!"- Wrong person was punished. ... "Only one oar in the water,"- Confused. "Up the creek without a paddle."- Helpless. "Went to s__t and the hogs ate him." Can't find him or missing.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 10:33 am
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I use the finer than frogs hair one!! 'Cept it's usually meant as an expression of that I'm doing really good.
 
petey 
Nov. 8, 2011 10:57 am
don't forget "so hungry I'm fartin' fresh air"
 
Nov. 8, 2011 11:04 am
hi avon...gosh i love november! catagoblin= catacorner. fixing, as in i'm fixing to do that= i'm on it. and in honor of your avatar...colder than a witches t...= yep mighty dang cold. i'll see if i can come up some more, but that's how we talk in the south :)oh...bald as a babies butt.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 11:04 am
Some of these made me laugh out loud. I think of one when I was a kid: "Slick as snot on a glass door knob," translates to slippery or slick. Pretty nasty, huh?
 
Nov. 8, 2011 12:04 pm
down here in southern Va we say "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs" "Busier than a one armed paper hanger" "happier than a dog with two tails" "that's a real turd sandwich!" usually refers to some new government regulation from Washington, D.C.- they put it between two slices of white bread and hope you don't notice the filling until you take a deep bite and then it's too late... ;)
 
Nov. 8, 2011 12:19 pm
I always liked some of the things Festus came up with on the gunsmoke show.
 
Puck 
Nov. 8, 2011 12:20 pm
Not so much sayings, but I was really thrown for a loop when I first moved here to da 'Burgh. Yinz = you guys, Crick = creek, Jimmies = sprinkles (on ice cream), Gum Band = rubber band. Took me awhile to get used to it! But I have always liked "as much fun as a barrel of monkeys" and "as nervous as a wh@re in church". This blog has cracked me up! Thanks :)
 
char 
Nov. 8, 2011 1:25 pm
How about it is crookeder than a snakes hind leg. Meaning something not very straight. I am so hungry that my stomach is eating on my backbone.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 3:04 pm
Great blog! Really made me laugh, and remember a conversation we had with our Mexican friends when we were first getting to know them. We asked if different parts of Mexico had different accents and sayings; and we shared the different accents, etc. from various parts of the US as examples. When I was explaining the South and it's accent I said "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?" That struck our friend as hilarious and he spent hours trying to perfect that accent with that saying. It was hilarious, and to this day (several years later) he will still say that. Something about a Mexican Southern accent - it is funny! Thanks for sharing such a funny blog!
 
Bibi 
Nov. 8, 2011 3:08 pm
My SIL was the first one I heard say this: "Don't get your panties in a wad!", meaning calm down, I guess. I was so busy with the mental picture I couldn't make sense of it, at the time!
 
Nov. 8, 2011 3:16 pm
How about "pull up your big girl panties and go on" meaning you can handle this, just do it!!
 
Keri 
Nov. 8, 2011 3:23 pm
OMG! I'm sitting here at my desk at work seriously ROFL at petey's contribution!! I'm going to start using that one myself! My mother has always used "Slicker than snot" and a good friend of mine often says "Colder than a witch's ____" (slang term for a breast, three letters, beginning and ending with "t"). My grandmother used to say "For Pete's sake!!", but she could never tell me who Pete was :)
 
Nov. 8, 2011 3:45 pm
barrel of monkeys is a game, or was a game.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 5:32 pm
Ba ha ha ha @ Petey! My newest favorite is "Slow your roll." That translates to "Back off" (or something close to that).
 
Nov. 8, 2011 5:40 pm
I'm just "giggling, farting and walking backwards" over your blog Avon. So, so funny. Here's mine: Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch = Don’t get ahead of yourself Don’t Put All Your Eggs In One Basket = check your options Cooped Up = Can't get out Up With The Chickens = early riser Walking On Eggshells = tenuous atmosphere Having A Hen Party-
 
Nov. 8, 2011 5:41 pm
Oh, I got more.....
 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:00 pm
OK, now I don't feel bad about STB, cause there are some doozies here. How about referring to something "out in the back 40" Is a frog's a** water tight? To our beautiful chicks named Candice and Soup Loving Nicole - "madder than a wet hen".
 
lisa j 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:02 pm
Chiming in from Jersey... fuhgeddaboudit 1. Forget about it - the issue is not worth the time, energy, mental effort, or emotional resources. 2. Definitively "no." 3. The subject is unequivocally excellent; further thought and analysis are unnecessary.
 
lisa j 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:03 pm
We have PLENTY others.. but not safe for AR print. Most have something to do with driving....
 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:08 pm
OK, Avon said I should share this one... When my Mom was about 80, she had some pesky gnat bothering her (and I'm guessing it was REALLY bothering her) because this popped out of my dear sweet mother's mouth, who hardly ever swore... "F-ing dog p****r fleas..." Whaaat?? Ma, what did you just say? The F-bomb was one thing and never usually said, but the rest of it? Where did she come up with that one? Apparently that's what they were called even when she was a kid, but it was the first time I had heard it from her. My Dad had another - "tell him to go p*** up a rope".
 
lisa j 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:34 pm
Ok kinda off topic but had to share from Jersey. New Jersey Driving Tips 1. Turn signals give away your next turn. A real New Jersey driver never uses them. 2. You should not leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is going with the flow. 4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 5. Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs. 6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels. 7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose. 8. Braking should be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs. 9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway. 10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour. 11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 12. There is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey. 13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes. 15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes. 16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding. Seriously. 17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:37 pm
Oohh, too funny! I don't think the Seattle rush hour traffic was that bad, but scary to this small town chick.
 
lisa j 
Nov. 8, 2011 8:47 pm
And so true. The only people on the GSP who use the "express" lanes are the out-of-staters. They actually think it's Express. Too funny.
 
Gitano 
Nov. 9, 2011 4:36 am
lisa...you have just described Toronto traffic to a "T"...everything you said applies and is seen on a daily basis...by the way...WHERE WAS YOUR GANGUP CREATION??? YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO JOIN IN! I am seriously pouting chica....
 
Nov. 9, 2011 5:01 am
Great laughs, thanks. One day I said something about "a rust bucket" and my east coast co-worker had no idea that I was refering to a badly rusted out car. It also applies to farm equipment here in Indiana.
 
Nov. 9, 2011 5:07 am
Lisaj, thanks, now I have a complete list of reasons I refuse to drive through your state on the way to vacation! DH has to drive and I read or sleep, anything to avoid looking outside the windows! It really is a crazy place compared to driving in my little midwest corner of the world! I won't drive through NYC, Detroit and Chicago either!
 
Nov. 9, 2011 9:21 am
From my native Pacific Northwest........Happier than a clam at high tide :) (cuz you can't get to them) Maui.....Dat Maui cruiser (a much esteemed locals' junker car as opposed to the fancy rental cars driven by tourists.) Anywhere USA..... Blacker than a coal diggers @ss (very dark outside) He's just whistling past the graveyard ( hiding fear or pretending bad things won't happen to him) Now I have got to call mom for some good ones :)
 
Puck 
Nov. 9, 2011 1:03 pm
Lisa J...I had to drive in NJ twice when my brother lived there. I do believe I aged 10 years each time. Probably why I developed a heart condition! It was a horrid experience, and you described it perfectly!!!
 
Nov. 9, 2011 1:04 pm
LOLOLOL What a great blog, Avon! I had never heard MB say that until after her trip to see you ladies. Could be cause she is the calm voice of reason trying to rein me in pre-roundup gathering. There are some great sayings here. Love the Jersey traffic post. Here's my contribution that my dad used to say to me- "How many cat's skeletons have you seen in a tree?"
 
Nov. 9, 2011 2:41 pm
Great blog! And I can attest to the truth of Lisa's Jersey post - I'll drive in Mahattan or any of the boroughs of NYC, but I hate driving in NJ (The traffic circle capital of the world) Oh, and if something is frustrating it is like herding cats and if something speeds by it went like greased lightening.
 
Nov. 9, 2011 2:42 pm
That should be Manhattan, jeeze.
 
Nov. 9, 2011 5:46 pm
oh my goodness, thank you all for your contributions and fun read. I was away after this got posted and can't believe how many good ones you all have come up with. And a special thanks to Lisa J for the traffic report in NJ. We have our traffic problems out here too, but nothing like what you describe and thank goodness for that. Keep 'em coming folks, this is just a great fun break in the action and lets face it, "Laughter is good for the soul"
 
Nov. 9, 2011 6:25 pm
I was just reading some of these to the DH and he said "happier than a pet coon in a corn crib".
 
Mamaw1 
Nov. 9, 2011 6:33 pm
"You ain't just whistling Dixie" when you started this. Speaking of politics, it seems as though we have too many "head honchos" who are "crookeder than a dog's hind leg", "walkin' on thin ice" as far as I'm concerned. The common "MO" (mode of operation) is "I'll scratch your back, you scratch mine". They seem to be "like peas in a pod", "like fleas on a dog", "thicker 'n' thieves" when it comes to "cookin' up deals" that are "slicker than snot", and willing to "sell us down the river" to "rake it in the back door". Sometimes I feel like "slappin' them upside the head" with my "bumbershoot" (umbrella) to "knock some sense in them". Many need "taken to the wood shed", and "taught a lesson" in honesty and integrity. I don't like being "taken to the cleaners". Most of the time they seem to be "talking out their (b-tt)", aka their "wazoo". I could go on, but I'd begin to sound like I was "rantin' and ravin' like an idiot", "out of my gourd", and needing "reeled in". Thanks for letting me "spout off", and "get my 2-cents worth in"! (Aren't words fun!)
 
Nov. 9, 2011 7:17 pm
Mamaw, that was brilliant!
 
Nov. 9, 2011 7:18 pm
Wow, Mamaw. You had no problem coming up your phrases. Until they actually pop out of my mouth (and apparently cause fits of hysterical laughter), I don't think about them.
 
Nov. 9, 2011 7:18 pm
BSM, Mahattan is the way I pronounce it after a couple :)
 
Nov. 9, 2011 8:34 pm
"He's drunker'n Cootie Brown", the illustrious town drunk was NEVER outdrunk so..... He done p*ssed me smooth off! He's crazier than a Sh*t House RAT! When I want Sh*t from you, I'll squeeze your face. It's PURE D COLD! I'll tar'n'feather you and ride you out of town on a rail.... Whip him nekkid down Main St... OMAHLOWERED-UH! (Oh my LORD!) You make sure you gitcher lil red haided butt back in bed afore morning, I'll not have you a-layin' out all night....(You make sure you have yourself back by curfew, I'll not have you staying out all night.) We all had "Drug Problems" as we grew up. We got drug to school, church, reunions, family dinner on Sunday.... Wow! LOOKIT 'At ole boy, he's a runnin' like a stripe-ed a$$ed ape! My goodness,my family is FULL of 'em, I cain't begin to think of all of 'em. LOL!
 
lisa j 
Nov. 9, 2011 8:52 pm
Gitano, funnily enough I was driving home from the foodstore on that Saturday with all my ingredients. And Sh*t just started dropping out of the sky. Branches coming down like torpedos. See #14 above. We got hit with this weird nor'easter. It was like driving test track at Disney World. (BTW I do really well at that :))When I got home (phew) the neighbors behind me had a tree come down across BOTH of their cars and took the power line with it.So I had no power for quite some time. I still want to make bread though!!!! Mushrooms was the ingredient I couldn't fit in. I still have them though.
 
Nov. 10, 2011 3:54 am
A similar expression to the "3-leg cat covering his.." that I've heard my family use to say they're extremely busy would be "busier than a one armed paper hanger"
 
Nov. 10, 2011 5:06 am
Oh boy! My grandmother had a few.... "There' a lid for every pot" - meaning: Aw, they make a nice couple :) AND "This place is so crowded you cant swing a dead cat in here!" meaning- Well, I guess it was just crowded, lol! AND: "Let's just see how the cat licks the butter". meaning- we'll see how things work out. AND my dad's personal favorite... "$hit or get off the pot"! meaning- make a decision already! Doubt that one needed much explanation :)
 
Nov. 10, 2011 8:24 am
Love all these contributions!
 
Nov. 10, 2011 8:25 am
Love all these contributions!
 
Nov. 10, 2011 10:57 am
I was watching gunsmoke today and festus said as he was feeding matt "That will grow hair on your elbows"
 
Nov. 10, 2011 2:48 pm
Speaking of cats.... One time my husband was chatting with the guy who comes to clean out the septic tank. This company was owned by the "SMITHS." (not the real name) They began talking about all the companies the SMITHS owned. Orangezest casually said "You can fling a dead cat in this town without hitting a SMITH." The fella said, "Yeah, I know. I'm Bob SMITH."
 
Nov. 10, 2011 7:59 pm
What's for dinner mom? Yes!! S*** or get off the pot! Nearly forgot that one.
 
Nov. 11, 2011 8:32 pm
Well, I'm not midwestern, though I live here for the time being. When I first moved here the natives sure had a good time making fun of my habit of saying "wicked" when expressing the degree of something - as in "it's wicked cold".
 
Nov. 12, 2011 12:19 pm
"Don't let the screen door hit you where the Good Lord split you!" equals "good riddance"! The chicken people here will get this quick, "Ain't he just the of the walk!" and "top of the pecking order". Love the blog, Avon!
 
Mamaw1 
Nov. 13, 2011 6:55 am
How about "don't count your chickens before they're hatched", "a stitch in time saves nine", "a rolling stone gathers no moss", "don't go away mad", "foxy find 'em leaves stinks behind 'em", "don't let the door hit you on your way out", "walk the line, toe the mark", "your/my eyes are bigger than your/my belly" "it's raining cats and dogs", "nighty night, don't let the bed-bugs bite" (A great-grandma-era saying, which went unneeded, until recently. I read the little buggers seem to be making a comeback, thanks to no DDT, etc.)
 
Nov. 13, 2011 11:03 pm
My mom has said not to be a crepe paper hanger, which basically means not to look on the dark side of a situation. She's from Kansas. Also, the addition of lil' ol' preceding anyone's name, for example look at poor lil' ol' Mary. In reality Mary might not be little or old.
 
Nov. 14, 2011 7:11 pm
I have to add a phrase that I use all the time! It's the polite way of being able to be mean... You can say anything you want about someone, as long as you tack on "bless their heart" afterwards...try it! "That dress just looked awful on her, bless her heart!" "I don't think I'll eat at their house again, bless their hearts..."
 
Nov. 14, 2011 7:15 pm
OH! another one, usually reserved for when someone is walking away from you and you're shaking your head at them... "I'm pretty sure his elevator missed a few floors"
 
Mamaw1 
Nov. 15, 2011 6:21 am
Or, "he's a few bricks shy..."
 
Nov. 15, 2011 10:34 am
oh my dear friend, what a great read-though I did not get to all the comments yet. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, not playing with a full deck or the elevater does not go all the way to the top floor are all nice blonde associated comments. Take your crayons and helmet means that mindless activities are planned and please don't hurt yourself, well sort of. Bless her heart is more commonly said as "ain't that sweet" not sure if it is regional or not but bad drivers are rated by their license plates and where they are from-Albertan's are just considered rude drivers, SK drivers are combine pilots, people from the maritimes are considered cod boat captains. Alberta is known as Little Texas, but I prefer to use the term Texas is known as Big Alberta. I will need to think of a few more....
 
Kate 
Nov. 15, 2011 8:37 pm
Oh, gosh, I love these!! We have many Dadisms in this house! Of course I can't remember them all now...will post more later...but let's see.. Slicker than goose s*** through a tin horn....OH! Waste of skin = totally useless (made up by my aunt in reference to her pathetic son in law!) Will think of more, I'm sure :)
 
maxie 
Nov. 21, 2011 5:00 pm
Oh what fun, Avon! I love your cross-referencing for definitions. I live sort of in the midwest now, southwest Ohio, but my roots are pure-d Appalachian: Tennessee, West Virginia, and Kentucky. I have heard and used many of the sayings you listed. My Great Uncle Wheeling (yep, named for Wheeling, WV!), used to say that every farm hand he hired "was useless as t*ts on a boar hog." Pretty durn useless, I guess. How about, "Girl, you're as nervous as a witch at a three day revival". This one still baffles me but the oldsters would nod and say, "yes, Lordy, yes." I loved "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth" meaning a smug, self-righteous person acting, well, smug and self-righteous. I also was told by a friend that her family used it to mean a slick, sly, devious person trying to act nicely or hide something. "You look like the cat that ate the canary" means you feel pleased. And my favorite said innumerable times to us kids by my grandmother, "You all are sticking to me closer than ticks on a hound dog." Pretty evident, kids get lost and out of my way! Last, "If you're gonna dance you got to pay the piper". There are consequences to be paid for for our actions. Avon, a real trip down memory lane. I am so thankful for this opportunity to remember those wonderful, long-gone folks that gave me so much love in my life. And their sayings were pretty cool, too.
 
Oct. 22, 2013 2:11 pm
Just found this and laughed so hard I couldn't see. Really needed that! My Grandma from OK used to say sh*t fire and save the matches. Not sure what she meant though?
 
 
 
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Avon- status quo PRO

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About Me
I'm a single mom of 4. My oldest is 24 (son). Followed by 3 daughters ages 23, 19, & 15. The two older ones are on their own now, I have one in college and a soon to be sophomore in high school. My college aged daughter attends a school here in our city, so even though she technically lives on campus, she is here quite often. Mostly for a home cooked meal, or laundry purposes, or just because. I'm kept very busy with my youngest one and her activities. She is very involved in her school, and is an athlete. I have the luxury of having a home based job so even though I have to be disciplined and do my work, I have the ability to arrange my schedule so that I have flexibility to come and go, or most importantly, I'm always home when my kids need me. Rarely do I ever miss anything they are doing. I'm also the caretaker of the 2 cats that rule the roost around here.
My favorite things to cook
My mother was from Morocco and I was born there as well. My father is of Irish decent, so I really got a mixed bag of different foods that I was exposed to early on. Because of that, I began a 50+ year love affair with foods of all kinds. I love, Middle Eastern, Italian, French, Asian, Indian, Mexican, and good ole American.
My favorite family cooking traditions
When I was married, and kids were born, we decided that holidays would be at our home and that all were invited. We wanted to establish the tradition of everyone comes to our house instead of spending the day or days arriving somewhere else and then having to leave. My goal was to have the kids grow up with memories of waking up Christmas morning in their own home and spending the day savoring the sights, smells, sounds and joy of the holiday at home. All guests are of course welcome. This is especially true of Thanksgiving and Christmas. Generally Thanksgiving is a week long event for us. A cousin in Portland Or. hosts "Pre-Thanksgiving" on Wed night, for all out of town guests arriving for the weekend. Because he and his wife have their own plans with her family for the big day, "our side of the family" always does the warm-up so we can all be together. My brothers family, and my Dad and step-mother who live in Washington, always come on the Wed, and we are all together until Sunday
My cooking triumphs
Pie Crust.......I always struggled with this until about 3 years ago. Don't ask what I did different, it just finally seems to work. Also have managed to master my mothers Moroccan hot sauce, which is like a very spicy tomato jam. More flavorful than you can imagine. I'm hoping my kids want to learn to make it properly since I'm the only one in the family that knows how to make it. Everyone seems to be content with me making it and canning it so they can have it whenever they want. That needs to change.....
My cooking tragedies
Walking away and being distracted by something and having a pot of soup boil dry in a favorite pan, not only ruining the soup and my pot, but the lingering smell in the house for days. Also there was the time that a microwave bag of popcorn caught fire inside my microwave. Now that was a terrible smell too.
 
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