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Dying for Some Crab 
 
Feb. 12, 2009 11:43 am 
Updated: Feb. 13, 2009 8:55 am
I heard a story the other day about a friend's dad who is deathly allergic to shellfish, but unfortunately, he also can't bear to live without it—figuratively speaking of course. Literally, he can't live with it in his body. (I tell ya, shellfish. Can't live with it, can't live without it. Sheesh! What're you gonna do, right?) Well, he can't live with it, save some medical intervention, that is. Which is why he has been known to eat crab while sitting in the parking lot of a Seattle hospital.

I had to verify the facts because I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "What? You mean so he can eat the crab, then walk right into the ER?"

"Yeah," said my friend.

I know what you're thinking: Oh my God!

I know—that's what I said!

And I should re-emphasize that it's not like shellfish just gives him a rash—he actually flat lined in his daughter's apartment one time after eating some (I assume that time it was unintentional). So, he's not just going to be a little itchy after he eats the crab—or even very itchy; he's basically going to be knocking on heaven's door. Like, really loudly—while also ringing the bell in that extremely annoying manner of an impatient visitor. And while I've heard that Calamine lotion does wonders for topical allergic reactions, it doesn't do much for your typical case of dead. There's no ointment that alleviates that irritating dead you're experiencing. (Yeah, just to recap—if he eats crab, he could die. Now, that's someone who really likes crab.)

I mean, I would totally die (pun intended) if someone told me my latte days were over if I wanted to keep breathing, but I wouldn't actually put my life at risk for a Grande two-percent latte (with a little brown sugar, please). Even if it had that really good foam…no, I definitely, probably would not.

I'm pretty sure I still wouldn't do it if you sprinkled some vanilla powder on top.

Hmm
, in a really pretty cup?—I didn't realize.

With a piece of biscotti?—I don't want to hear anymore—I mean it.

With a picture drawn into the foam? La-la-la…I can't hear you…la-la-la-la…I hear not what you are saying…la-la-la…because I am plugging my ears…la-la…and not listening anymore…la-la…la…

(Pssst. Meet me in the parking lot of Haborview Medical Center tomorrow at 9am, and bring the vanilla powder. Don't be late—something tells me timing could play an important role.)
 
Comments
Jenny 
Feb. 12, 2009 12:30 pm
I think I could handle going through life without my latte's, but cheese? That would be a problem!
 
Feb. 13, 2009 8:55 am
cheese would be hard to be without and bacon.
 
 
 
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ChicCook

Home Town
Bellingham, Washington, USA
Living In
Seattle, Washington, USA

Member Since
Jan. 2009

Cooking Level
Intermediate

Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Asian, Mexican, Mediterranean, Healthy, Quick & Easy

Hobbies
Hiking/Camping, Biking, Walking, Photography, Music

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About Me
I'm a 31 year old gal living in Seattle, working as a writer. I love cooking at home and spending a night in with friends, but I love going out to eat just as much. I love everything about restaurants—the food, the atmosphere, the people! The only thing that stands in my way is the cash-ola situation, but I’m working my way around the Seattle restaurant scene at a respectable pace. Hmm, what else do you need to know about me? I eat any and all licorice…black, red, strawberry flavored—I don’t discriminate; I’m obsessed with “Entourage” and “Friends” re-runs (you’d think the fact that I can say the lines along with the characters would make it less enjoyable for me to watch, but huh-uh…it does no such thing); and I really wish I had extended cable because I love Jon Stewart would really like to watch the Daily Show every night. Okay, I think that’s all the important stuff;).
My favorite things to cook
Mexican food and cookies.
My favorite family cooking traditions
I love waking up Thanksgiving morning (when I was young, and now if I happen to stay at my parents house the night before) and smelling the meal that's usually already in the works by the time I roll out of bed.
My cooking triumphs
I made Oaxacan Tacos (from this site) for a friend’s birthday and I have to say, I was quite pleased with myself—it was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. I highly recommend the recipe!
My cooking tragedies
I made a cake from scratch for the first time when I was hosting a baby shower for my best friend. Thinking it would keep the cake fresh (I had made it the night before), I put it in the refrigerator—turns out, refrigerating a cake actually does the exact opposite. It turned out dry and ridiculously dense—even I couldn’t eat a whole piece and I’m a dessert freak (which is why I ate several bites before I set it aside).
 
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