That's Penwit, Dear. Penwit. - Learning To Cook Blog at - 294093

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That's PENWiT, Dear. PENWiT. 
Jan. 9, 2013 7:02 pm 
Updated: Jan. 11, 2013 6:17 am
My wife, Mrs. Doc, or She Who Must Be Obeyed, and I are normally great communicators. She speaks and I do. It's quite simple. The only thing I really have to say (for the sake of survival) is, "Yes, dear!" It isn't quite as simple as I am posing it here. The simple phrase, "Yes, dear!" must bear the weight of great sincerity lest it result in hard objects impacting my rather thick cranium. My father-in-law was very good at this(you couldn't even see him roll his eyes!), but sadly wasn't able to pass his wisdom on to me before going home to the Lord. I think that might be why I suffer from frequent headaches.

Anyway, I had the chance to speak with my darling on the phone this week (a fairly safe mode of communication) and I told her all about PENWiT, or the People for the Ethical Noshing of WIng Tips. Even after 22 years of marriage, we occasionally misunderstand one another. She asked me, "What's this about NITWiT?" To which I responded, "Well since I've been a stay at home parent for 16 years I thought it might be good for me to generate some income. For the wing tips of course! Not me! No. And it's PENWiT, not NITWiT, my love." There were a few moments where all I could hear was static on the line, and then she replied, "Let me repeat myself slowly. What's this about, nitwit?" Commas are notoriously hard to hear over the phone. With the inflections all sorted out, I could finally try to process what she was really trying to say.

I must confess that this particular epiphany stung just a might.
Jan. 10, 2013 6:45 am
As a PENWiT I often say "Yes, dear" but for some reason she takes it as a negative connotation (must be my tone of voice). I'd much rather be called a NiTWiT than an A..WiT.
Jan. 10, 2013 6:56 am
It's when my wife says nothing at all that she says the most.
Jan. 10, 2013 7:10 am
Those words MUST bear the weight of sincerity or they are a slap in the face to the fairer sex. You know how delicate they can be, at least when not practicing their backhand. Doug, you are so very right. When Mrs. Doc is verbose, I know I am safe.
Jan. 10, 2013 7:36 am
When I say a loving, "Good morning!" and the response is, "What does that smile mean, *!@#", I know it's time to shut mouth and go get coffee. When she changes her mind about her wardrobe for the day, gets her face painted, her hair perfect and correct purse to carry, then I know it might be safe (note: "might be safe") to speak. Deep humility helps at those moments- and I hate being humble! ... As for the "PENWiT" stratagem, I think it is a dead end contrivance that only you should participate in. Remember Bernie Madoff? Bilking has the same consequences. Worse yet, when you hear "nitwit" from the wrong side of the bars, I'm sure it will be a thousand times worse than you ever heard it before.
Jan. 10, 2013 8:35 am
I knew this easy money thing wasn't going to be easy! ;-)
Jan. 10, 2013 8:47 am
Mike, I agree about the PENWiT stratagem. It has given more mileage than it really ever should have. At least I've proven that, though it is pointless to beat a dead horse, one can certainly milk a dead cow!
Jan. 10, 2013 6:54 pm
You guys are too funny - and smart!!
Jan. 11, 2013 2:47 am
I didn't realize how sarcastic I was, until I would say, "Thank you," and my children wanted to know what they did wrong. Made me rethink a few things! Also, when I said, "vacuum," and "thank you," to my ex, he thought I was saying bad words to him. [They sound similar . . .]
Jan. 11, 2013 4:43 am
When I was a kid I knew of a guy that had worked in the same Chinese take out joint I did, but a few years before me. Well, he would say something to the customers as they left that sounded like, "Thank you!" yet they couldn't quite hear it clearly. Turns out he was saying something quite different. Vacuum is a dirty word in and of itself! Hey luv2cook! My mom always said I was funny. Then dad would stick up for me and tell me, "Looks aren't everything, son."
Jan. 11, 2013 6:17 am
LOL (=
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Doc Simonson

Home Town
St. Peter, Minnesota, USA

Member Since
Jan. 2009

Cooking Level

Cooking Interests
Grilling & BBQ, Stir Frying, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Italian, Southern, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean, Gourmet

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About Me
I'm old and smelly, kinda like a really good salami with that really nice white mould all over it.
My favorite things to cook
Meat, carbs, meat, carbs, meat, carbs and did I mention meat?
My favorite family cooking traditions
Drop a plate of Pierogis and sausages in front of me and watch my eyes glaze over in pure joy.
My cooking triumphs
Schweinebraten mit Knoedel und Krautsalat. Also Edel Hirsch Gulasch was very nice. I make killer Spaetzle and Knockerl also.
My cooking tragedies
There aren't enough electrons in cyberspace! :) Actually, the tragedies usually involve well intentioned creativity out of control.
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