The Silver Lining - Put the Kettle on.... Blog at - 302173

Put the Kettle on....

The Silver Lining 
May 6, 2013 5:01 am 
Updated: May 14, 2013 2:12 pm
This is not a happy blog - but because I believe that life is for the living I can write about the sadness in my heart, where I found there is a "silver lining".   Jon's father had been diagnosed with cancer back in October; however he chose not to continue anymore testing and/or treatments.  He was ready to go home and spend the rest of his days waiting for his time with the Lord.  Hospice was set up and they, along with Jon's younger brother, helped to make the rest of his time as comfortable as possible.

It is indeed a painful thing to watch a loved one suffer.  I don't like that feeling of helplessness.  I want to be able to "put a bandaid on the 'boo-boo'; give it a kiss and make it all better".  Jon's dad passed away on April 27th, peacefully at home, with his beloved beagle at his side.  Roger was a man consumed with many emotional and mental troubles.  It wasn't often that you would spend time with him where he was truly happy and laughing - seeing the beauty in life.  I know, though, that he was a man that loved his family and animals, and appreciated the beauty in nature; he just wasn't able to express that and let that joy guide him through life on a much happier journey than he made. 

As we began making calls to family and friends, we had to wait until later in the evening to call Steve.  He's in South Dakota, two hours behind us, and he works on Saturday's.  Finally it was 6:30 pm and I knew he'd be finished working.  His Grandpa's passing was not unexpected, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept.  Immediately he said he needed/wanted to come home.  Seeing Steve would be our "silver lining" in this situation.   Discussions began about what day he could fly in and how long he could stay.  Steve has been planning a visit home in July and I have been anxiously awaiting for July to get here.  I haven't seen my son since March 2, 2012.  That's like a lifetime to me!  Plane tickets aren't cheap from Rapid City to Ohio - the cheapest one we found was $1,073 round-trip.  Then, I started really searching and found - where they offer a "special deal".  You have no idea of the flight details; only that you have a true ticket (not standby) and you will arrive at your destination the same day you left home.  Once you actually book your flight you then receive the details.  Since that ticket would be half the cost of the others, we took it.  Steve would be flying in on Thursday and leaving on Tuesday.  His flight details included 2 stops - Minneapolis and Detroit. 

For anyone that read my blog on his journey out to South Dakota - you may remember how poor Steve spent days on a greyhound bus and saw more of the country than he had bargained for.  This sounded like a breeze compared to that trip!  He was happy to see he would be avoiding Chicago. He's traveled by bus and by plane and both times he went to Chicago he was stuck there for hours on end.  Spending the night at the Chicago greyhound bus station was just a part of the adventure to Steve; until he then spent a night in the Fargo, ND bus station as well a day later.  Anyways - this trip would not include those cities! 

His trip home was only a mere 15 minutes late.  We had all day Friday to just spend time with Steve. Kristal finished her school year on Wednesday and so she was not working and able to go with us to see my parents and spend some time there.  Friday nights we spend at the restaurant so we all went.  Federico was excited to see Steve as well. 

Saturday was Roger's service.  It was a beautiful day and a beautiful service.  Jon's family has lived in this area forever and many people came to pay their respects and share stories about times they had spent with Roger.  After the pastor had said his final prayer at the gravesite; a family friend, who is a Native American, said a final prayer in his native custom.  It was very moving and very interesting.  This man is from the Lakota Sioux nation in South Dakota - so there was a connection for my side of the family as my dad grew up in S.D. and my sister and son both live there now.  The fellowship time at the church was a wonderful closure.  I feel Roger would have been pleased with how things went; nothing fancy, just people gathering for food and spending time remembering stories.  When Roger was having a good day - he was a funny man with a quick wit.  He loved a good story.

Yesterday was a day spent at home with family.  We grilled bratwursts and hotdogs, boiled some corn on the cob and completed the meal with watermelon, strawberries, macaroni salad and double chocolate chip cookies.  My brother, who lives in Columbus, was here staying with my parents so he was here as well.  Our "adopted" family came to spend time with us also.  Since yesterday was May 5th; which in Mexico is "Cinco de Mayo" - that meant the restaurant was a busy place.  Federico and Marisela managed to sneak away for a couple hours - just enough time to eat and relax a few minutes.  Then Federico received a call that the restaurant got really busy and they needed their help!  We talked them in to letting the kids stay with us so they could spend time with Steve.  That also gave us the excuse to go for ice cream when we took the children back to their parents. :) 

Today is the last day with Steve here - his plane leaves at 10:15 am tomorrow.  He is meeting his best friend from high school for breakfast; Matt works nights so this was the only chance for them to get together.  Tonight will be a quiet night at home and tomorrow we will take him to the airport.   I know, though, I will be seeing him very soon.  July is just around the corner!

May 6, 2013 5:28 am
Mother Ann, I am so glad you have a silver lining. With all of the love that is apparent within your family, I'm sure it wouldn't take a lot of time to find many more. I am so sorry for your grief, but am gladdened to see the love and peace and joy that seems to surround your family both biological and adopted.
May 6, 2013 6:27 am
I send my condolences to your husband, you, and your family. I am sorry to hear about the passing of Roger. On the other hand, I know how being with family fills your heart with joy. I am glad Steve was able to come home and spend time with your family. Be well, my friend!
May 6, 2013 6:42 am
Doc - One of the last things Roger told his family was that he didn't want them to cry over him - that death is part of life and it wouldn't be as hard on him as it would be to the rest of us. I know he would be happy to know that we could find something to make us smile during this time.
May 6, 2013 6:43 am
Lela - Thank you. My life is a very full life with all of my wonderful family and it is easy to find comfort in time spent with them.
May 6, 2013 6:55 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, am glad you had a silver lining filled with family, friends and memories. I know how I felt when my son was gone and it has been such a long time for you to see Steve. I remember well his "roadtrip" via Greyhound and glad the poor kid had a much better trip back home.
May 6, 2013 7:17 am
Cat, thank you. Now let's just hope his flight home goes smoothly! :)
May 6, 2013 10:07 am
I offer my condolences. While death is part of life, it is never easy to accept. It is nice that Steve was able to manage a few days to visit. July will be here in no time.
May 6, 2013 10:41 am
I also offer my condolences, what a wonderful silver lining. I am more then sure you are still holding on and hugging. A year is such a long time to go with out hugging your child, thank goodness it won't be a year again. I will send my prayers and good thoughts for his safe travel and a speedy uneventful trip.
May 6, 2013 11:57 am
I send my condolences also, very happy that Steve was able to go home and be with all of is family. Your very lucky to have such a wonderful and caring family and extended family. Safe travel for Steve on his way back.
May 6, 2013 4:10 pm
Glad you found that silver lining. My codolences on your loss.
May 6, 2013 5:31 pm
I will send positive thoughts his way for a safe trip home!
May 6, 2013 6:34 pm
BSM - you are so right - death is a part of life, and it is difficult to accept when it arrives.
May 6, 2013 6:35 pm
Joey Joan, thank you for your kind words. It has been such a joy to have Steve here! I wish tomorrow wouldn't come!
May 6, 2013 6:36 pm
manella and goodeats - thank you both. And Cat - thank you, too! I'm hoping his trip home is very uneventful!
May 6, 2013 7:58 pm
I am so sorry for your loss, Mother Ann, but so glad that you were surrounded by family and friends who brought you such encouragement and comfort. I feel as though I know you just from reading about your own family as well as your "adopted" Mexican family. Thank you for letting us all share in your grief and your joy. Praying for safe travels for Steve and continued comfort for you all in the days ahead.
May 7, 2013 3:23 am
Paula, thank you for your kind words. Being surrounded by family and friends has been a huge comfort for us.
May 7, 2013 5:19 am
Your family has my prayers and sympathy during this time of loss. This a great account of how families should interact in times of grief or reunion. Thank you for sharing it.
May 7, 2013 5:32 pm
Mike, thank you for your prayers. While we were away yesterday afternoon our wonderful neighbors mowed our lawn to help us out during this time. It was a wonderful and very thoughtful gesture as I was a little worried when we'd be able to get to that chore with everything going on. It is wonderful to have such good friends!
May 7, 2013 5:40 pm
My sympathy to you and your family ... Prayers for healing being sent. Life is complex and full of many emotions, some better than others, some more challenging than others. It's always nice though to find that silver lining.
May 8, 2013 9:31 am
Linda, Indeed it is nice to find the silver lining. It truly helps the challenging parts of life to be a little less stressful.
May 14, 2013 3:23 am
Mother Ann, I'm so glad you were able to wrap your arms around your son. Life can be a tumble of emotions, sometimes, and for moms, nothing sets us right more than experiencing the love of our kids. Beneath the activity and busy-ness, I believe I detect a note of peace, and I'm happy for you. Blessings on you and your dear ones.
May 14, 2013 2:12 pm
Bibi - I really needed to see my son - it had been way too long! Fortunately for me my daughter lives very close and we get to see her a lot. In fact we're meeting her and her husband for dinner at the restaurant tonight. :) Jon has been remembering good times with his dad and he is coming to terms with his loss. I think he's reaching that place where he can think about his dad and remember him and not have it be too painful.
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Mother Ann

Home Town
Streetsboro, Ohio, USA
Living In
Ravenna, Ohio, USA

Member Since
Oct. 2009

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Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Slow Cooking, Mexican, Italian, Southern, Dessert

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About Me
I've been married for 33 years, and live in Ohio. We have a daughter who is married and lives nearby. Our son graduated from college and moved to South Dakota. He has his own place but still goes to visit my sister and brother-in-law and have dinner with them occasionally. We have two black labs that get to go duck hunting with dad and two cats. We own a Mexican restaurant and are learning alot about the food industry. I love to eat, go camping, read, spend time with family and friends, watch movies, and drink wine; not necessarily in that order.
My favorite things to cook
I love to bake - anything chocolate is fine with me. Seafood, chicken dishes and slow-cooker fare.
My favorite family cooking traditions
My husband and I enjoy cooking together with wine. We pop open a bottle of wine and get cooking. :-)
My cooking triumphs
Whenever I can put together a meal that gets many compliments and leaves the diners satisfied is a triumph in my book! I love to cook meals for family and friends.
My cooking tragedies
When I was first married we had my grandparent's-in-law over for a pot roast dinner. The meat came out great, but the potatoes and carrots were still half raw. My husband's grandfather went to cut his fork into a carrot and it flew off his plate. He looked at me, winked, and said he loved his carrots that way!
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