Stuck In The Virtual Express Lane...Again - Swampy's Kitchen Blog at - 331752

Swampy's Kitchen

Stuck in the Virtual Express Lane...again 
Aug. 19, 2014 10:37 am 
Updated: Aug. 25, 2014 6:07 am

Here I am once again standing in my Virtual Express Lane counting the items in my cart, counting the items in the carts around me, glancing at the headlines on the gossip magazines, trying to remember what I forgot to get on my list and wondering if I should buy the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups staring up at me from the candy rack while the person at the register struggles with a new roll of tape while someone else tries to write a check for over with a pencil.

Not really but some days do feel like it.

I haven’t written a blog in a long while and I don’t know whether it is because I forgot how to write or that I don’t have time to write or that I have nothing to write about. Then again, I did write countless letters to my daughters at camp so I didn’t forget how to write. I had time to write the letters so I can’t use that excuse either. Finally, I wrote about something different in each letter to the girls at camp so I guess I did find things to write about. None of that is neither here nor there and just taking up space so let’s get to meat of the matter and see what cooking in my cart.

I noticed during a stretch this summer that my belt was starting to shrink in the wash again so I decided 2 weeks ago to go back on Dr. Killjoy’s DIE-t that was so successful for me 3 years ago when I lost Nine Bags of Sugar from my waistline. It was slow at first but then I broke my Elliptical (again) and had to start jogging again.

I hate jogging.

That being said, we are about to depart on a quick 4 days excusion to the Florida Keys and it is my goal to sample, photograph & review every slice of Key Lime Pie I can get in my mouth during the trip. Guess I’ll be jogging most of the way to Key West & back.

Had a chance to play 3 days of Pompous Chest Thumping Man Golf earlier this summer and when our team won, it was left to me to create a victory dish drawing from elements of the weekend. I included Scallops & Bourbon but couldn’t find a single thing to do with the stinky cigars. Considering how much rain we had, the dish was served over Wilted Greens.

Limes are still expensive and I am still buying them.

We discovered a new/old ice cream shop this summer and so far every flavor I have ordered has turned out to be a pie mixed in with the ice cream. Almost as if I was ordering ice cream ala mode with pie. I would post a picture of the Cherry Pie Ice Cream but I don’t know how in the middle of a blog and AR won’t let me at the end of the blog anymore so you will just have to trust me as to how good it looked.

We went to a Food Truck festival the other weekend with 20 Food Trucks. They could have had 40 Food trucks there and I think the lines still would have been 30-60 minutes and they still would have run out of food in the early afternoon.

As I wrote in every letter to my girls this summer, my garden is exploding. The Roma & San Marzano Tomatoes were a failure but everything I have ever planted in that patch of the garden has always stunk. I know where I am focusing my earthly intentions this fall & next spring. My red & yellow cherry tomatoes however are off the charts. There are so many ripe & green tomatoes ripening that when you stare into my “Tomato Jungle” it kind of looks like Jackson Pollack painted a Stop Light.

My wife has been stuffing jalapenos with cheese & wrapping them in bacon all summer and now the habaneros are coming in. Twice as much bacon but more than twice as much heat.

I think God invented ice cream to help people who had spicy food for dinner or lunch. That is my excuse and I am sticking to it.

Did I really see Christmas decorations next to the Halloween stuff at Costco last weekend ?

I watched Food Network Star and didn’t vote for the eventual winner. Lenny seems like a nice guy but he also feels like a one trick pony. Maybe they can squeeze in a season of Fish Out of Water scenarios for him like his visit to the yogurt shop in Chelsea Market ? That I would watch.

My daughters were homesick for camp so we let them cook food like they do at camp for all of us the other night. The burgers were tender on the inside and CHARRED on the outside. Not sure why anyone would miss those.

We are in the final stages of my 3 year dental implant journey and I have to remind myself that Ghost Pepper Sauce & stitches don’t mix. It may have been close to 25 years since I last was able to bite an apple when this whole thing started but it will be closer to 28 years when I finally do take that first bite. I am still thinking Granny Smith though my family is pushing for Honey Crisp.

Finally remembered what I forgot but I am already checked out and headed for the Florida Keys. Guess it will have to wait. In the meantime, I think I will see if I can send my Alligator Chili recipe to the folks in Alabama that caught that 1,000lb Alligator the other day. They may need a few recipes beyond Fried Gator on Stick.

Aug. 19, 2014 5:48 pm
Welcome back Bubba!
Aug. 20, 2014 4:37 am
Thanks for the blog-I needed this read this morning! Our local homemade ice cream shop (the one inside our restaurant) finally just made the recipe we got for him from the ice cream place in Chincoteague, VA. It's called Bourbon Caramel Crunch and is fantastic! He sold 1/2 the batch in less than a week. (Of course I'm not going to mention how much of it I have consumed!) Ice cream after Mexican is the best! Go with the Granny Smith's when you finally get to bite into that apple!!
Aug. 20, 2014 9:10 am
I missed your blog posts so much! Always fun and interesting with enough weird in it to pump it up. I'm a Honey Crisp guy, but Granny Smith's are pretty darned fine too. Good luck with your jogging survey of all the earth's key lime pies!
Aug. 20, 2014 12:44 pm
Yum, honeycrisp is my vote! Enjoyed reading!
Aug. 20, 2014 2:40 pm
Wonderful read, sorry about your tomatoes. San Marzano are my favorites. Still going to send the apple:))
Aug. 21, 2014 2:13 pm
I was sorry that Lenny won the Chef contest, especially after I read more about him and his potty mouth. Oh well, maybe he will shape up. I wanted the French or was he Italian guy to win.
Aug. 21, 2014 2:15 pm
Thank you for stopping by. Responses will be limited because of connection issues but so far we have tried 4 different key lime pies with more to come.
Aug. 21, 2014 6:22 pm
Hi ya Doug….I wonder if Kermit's KeyLimeShoppe is still open down in the keys?… enjoy!!!!
Aug. 24, 2014 2:14 pm
Hi ellie - still there and Kermit himself was out front when we strolled in - his was one of 8 different key lime pies we tried
Aug. 25, 2014 2:09 am
The comment about Ghost Pepper Sauce and stitches made me Cringe!!! Ew and Ouch!
Aug. 25, 2014 5:35 am
Good morning Barb - luckily the stitches have all dissolved and everything is healing nicely. The ghost pepper on my eggs this morning just did their normal damage. have a great day.
Aug. 25, 2014 6:07 am
I feel like you and bd.weld need to get together for a couple meals(= [Definitely sans oral stitches!]
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Doug Matthews

Home Town
Princeton, New Jersey, USA
Living In
Mendham, New Jersey, USA

Member Since
Mar. 2000

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Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Stir Frying, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Southern, Healthy, Kids, Quick & Easy

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About Me
My mother decided early on that her sons would never have to rely on someone to feed them so we all learned to cook at an early age. I really started to branch out when I moved out west to Denver, SF & Dallas. Combine that with extended business travel to Louisiana & my growing love of spices and you get a real mix of flavors.
My favorite things to cook
Love to make cajun food with my favorites being crawfish pie, alligator stew & alligator chili - I go nuts on Super Bowl Sunday
My favorite family cooking traditions
We didn't have a lot of traditions per se but you could count on pancakes or waffles on sundays - dad making scrambled eggs twice a year on christmas morning & mother's day - veal parmagiana on christmas eve, Thanksgiving with Grandma Matthews and any menu of your choice on your birthday. We weren't a spicy family so I learned a lot of good strong basics in the kitchen from Mom that I have carried over into my cooking today.
My cooking triumphs
I love to experiment with variations of dishes I try around the country. My biggest success is here on allrecipes where I had 2 recipes published in the same cookbook - Southwestern Turkey Soup & Curried Carrot Soup. I think my corn muffins are a great starting point and my alligator chili has become a much requested Super Bowl favorite.
My cooking tragedies
There have been a few times in the past where I tossed everything and took everyone to a restaurant instead. I'm not too proud to say my cooking is awful when it really is.
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