An Open Letter To Clueless Kitchen Husbands - Swampy's Kitchen Blog at Allrecipes.com - 312117

Swampy's Kitchen

An Open Letter To Clueless Kitchen Husbands 
 
Oct. 4, 2013 7:28 am 
Updated: Apr. 13, 2014 10:39 pm

I have been a regular visitor to Allrecipes.com since their early days and over the years I have noticed a disturbing trend develop. I think that it is high time that someone stand up and address the issue. That time is now ladies & gents and that person is me.


Dear Clueless Kitchen Husbands,


As a man who knows his way around both a kitchen & a grocery store, I have become increasingly frustrated with posts & blogs in which I read either “DH did this in the kitchen” or “DH went to the store and brought back that”. Now in most cases these phrases wind up detailing some culinary mishap or purchase that result in headshaking & a good number of LOL’s at the poor husband’s expense. There are those rare occasions in which the DH may actually do something right but those are few & far between and about as hard to find as a ripe avocado in the grocery store the day of the Super Bowl. So let’s get to the bottom of the problem and see if we can’t begin to erase this unfair stigma.


Let’s start with the DH designation. Now most, if not all, of the women on this site will tell you that DH stands for Dear Husband or Darling Husband and they will type it with a straight face too. We all know that DH really means Designated Hitter (a ridiculous rule instigated by the American League back in the early 70’s but that has nothing to do with this topic at all so we can discuss it some other time during a rain delay or something) but in this realm it means something entirely different. It means Dumb Husband, Dang Husband, Darn Husband or D*mn Husband depending on the supposed culinary indiscretion you have inflicted on your blogging/posting wife. Hopefully you have figured that one out for yourself and are as miffed by the designation as I am. I know that if I referred to my wife online as DW that she would automatically assume it stood for Dumb Wife, Dish Washer or worse. So what can we do to help rid ourselves of this label?


First off, there is no excuse for a man who can’t cook for himself unless he lived with his mother until the day he got married. Every man should know his way around the basics of a kitchen. Cavemen figured out fire and so can you. I will admit that when I first moved out on my own I relied on scrambled eggs, hot dogs, boil in the bag meals, frozen meals and Happy Hour chicken wings but those got old quickly. I wasn’t living anywhere near my parents so I had to make my own way around the kitchen. It took some time but in the end but it has definitely been worth it. They say that the best way to a Man’s Heart is through his Stomach and the same can be said about that being the best way to a Woman’s Heart too. You don’t have to be an Emeril or a Bobby Flay and whip up a 5 Star Michelin Rated Meal to do it either. Start with the little things in the meal preparation like grabbing a cutting board (bamboo is my choice) and a knife and start peeling the carrots & potatoes, dicing the onions & peppers or trimming the fat off a cut of meat. Wielding a knife (carefully of course and not like a ninja) & chopping things up appeals to that base caveman element inside of you and it also appeals to the side of your Darling Wife that wants a Sous Chef to boss around.


And yes I said BOSS AROUND. The kitchen, in most cases, is your wife’s domain much like the workbench in the garage is yours. My wife & I split a lot of the cooking duties but I will be the first one to tell you that the kitchen belongs to her so I need to respect it and you should too. Ask where things belong and don’t tell her where they should go. What may seem like an inefficient setup to you may be a system or method of cooking that best works for your wife. Remember it’s her domain. They say that cooking can be a sensual experience and when you start to work, listen & help in the kitchen you will see that your wife will start to look at you in a slightly different way. Learn to do the “Dance” and maybe she won’t say anything the next time you want to watch the game.


Now let’s talk about the grocery store because this is an area where us guys should be killing it and from what I am reading out there, we aren’t. The ability to hunt has been ingrained in our beings since the days of clubs & dinosaurs. In most cases these days, we men don’t have to go out and actually kill our food anymore but we do have to go to the store to “hunt”. Now just because something has a great price on it, it doesn’t always mean it’s the best deal for you & for Dear Wife. A case of your favorite BBQ sauce or 25 lbs of sweet potatoes or a side of beef may look good at the cash register but they look terrible when you get home. No one wants to get stuck with too much of even a good thing. Think moderation and not big score when you go shopping. Learn the layout of the grocery store and work the aisles from one end to the other. Google hasn’t mapped it for us yet but grocery stores, for the most part, are laid out in the same manner. In most cases the produce (fruits & veggies) & baked goods are closest to the front door and the refrigerated & frozen goods are near the back of the store. The main reasoning behind this layout is to keep the items that could spoil or melt when out of it’s cold case for the least amount of time, so please don’t wander the aisles haphazardly as the ice cream melts out of the bottom of the cart. Pay attention to the list that your Darling Wife gives you and if there is something on the list that doesn’t make sense to you, don’t just grab the next best thing, ask someone for help. Another man in the store may or may not be able to help you and most women will answer if they think you aren’t trying to hit on them or if you look exceptionally perplexed but the best person to ask is an employee. You wouldn’t hesitate to ask the guy at the gas station for directions, would you ? And when it comes to pricing your items, always look at the unit price in yellow next to the sticker price in the middle of the price tag. It will help you compare the real cost of different but same items. You would be surprised by how many of these supposed “Specials” that we men have been known to fall for aren’t really special at all. I like to look at the grocery store as a battlefield and you are the general set to ride in with your horde of troops to conquer. As the Great Roman Emperor Julius Caesar would have said today, “Veni, Vidi, Costco” – “I came. I saw. I Costco’d”.


There is no reason if you follow these tips that we can’t beat the clueless label that our Dear Wives & partners have slapped on us. It’s food after all. It’s important. It’s something you should have an interest in helping to prepare as well as to consume. Some of the greatest chefs in the world are men. I’m not asking you all to rise to that level, I’m just asking you to step up and help the male half of the human race rid ourselves of the implication that we are all clueless in the kitchen. I’ll be monitoring the blogs & comment boards for your progress.


Bon Appetit & Happy Hunting.

 

 
Comments
Oct. 4, 2013 7:39 am
Woohoo! Loved the blog Doug! I know it was targeted at the male gender...Jim and I share the kitchen and the grocery duties! We don't go out, instead we share our time together through food and of course other things, but food is up there on our favorites list!
 
donnam 
Oct. 4, 2013 7:45 am
My husband is a self-proclaimed worst cook. It actually frustrates me because, when you have children, it makes it hard on the designated cook - which seems to be me. So, if you ever see a post by me regarding a mishap, it's because I wish he WOULD pick up some cooking skills. He finds the fact that he can't cook a box of mac and cheese to be amusing. I had to make meals ahead of time for the kids prior to going into surgery. Imagine adding that stress to everything else going on! Hey, I don't fit into the realm of a stereotype for a wife. I get frustrated at hardware stores posting up things that have "great gifts for Dad" during the holidays when there are tools that I would like. Only recently have some started placing women in their advertisements. Women are projected as not being able to do things men do all the time. Also, people aren't helpful in dissipating the stereotypes because they contribute to them. My husband finds it amusing that he can't cook. Women post they're afraid to use a drill...or saying, "It's so easy, even I could do it." I think it's time we all start crossing over and doing things that have, for so many years, been stereotypical for the sexes. Men, break out the cooking gear. Women, start the home renovations! Who says we can't do whatever we want? We could all use learning a new thing or two. ;)
 
Oct. 4, 2013 7:50 am
I call my other half(not better, we just complete each other) hubby. At home, I may call him other things, but never call him into the kitchen to cook. He has willingly stepped in to help if I ask, but I would rather cook alone and it is just not his interest to cook. He would rather work in the yard, although he may come in before dinner to sit and watch me make magic. #1 son cooks at an Italian restaurant so has no interest in cooking at home, but will compile various leftovers into a new dish. #2 son cooks at his place and frequently sends me pictures LOL! We love our 'guy' cooks here on AR!
 
Oct. 4, 2013 7:52 am
And by the way, you wouldn't catch my hubby within 1/2 a mile of the grocery store...that's how far it is from Lowes :)
 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:01 am
Good morning & thanks Terry - sounds like Jim has his priorities in order. Have a great weekend.
 
duboo 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:05 am
I have 1 drawer in the kitchen. That's all I ask for and it's MY drawer. The rest is fair game. I do most of the shopping too, but I do keep the fridge a little too full at times.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:06 am
Good morning Donna and the congregation says AMEN ! I have a lot of trouble with anyone who is a self proclaimed WORST anything. There is no reason not to try. No reason not to help. As for the stereotypes perpetuated by both genders, it really bothers me and it is a big reason why I have made sure that my girls can do "boy" things and that my son can do "girl" things. Glad you stopped by and glad you let fly. Hope you have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:09 am
Good morning sassyoldlady - it sounds to me like you have an arrangement that works and men who can cook when needed and we have a Shop-Rite & a Home Depot in the same shopping center nearby. I can see why hubby goes to Lowe's instead (% miles away for us). Have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:12 am
Morning duboo - I have a knife block and my favorite kitchen tools are all in the drawers & spots that I want them in and they better not move. And as far as I am concerned, the fridge can never be too full. Have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:28 am
My BF (boyfriend) is rarely allowed to shop for groceries – he spends way too much money and comes home with hardly anything! I honestly do not understand how he does it. His idea of a light meal once was frozen pizza rolls, frozen tater tots and frozen tacquitos – this is what he made for me once before a yoga class. No thanks! He once topped a grilled burger with ham, pastrami and cheese and told me it was gourmet because he saw it on Guy Fieri’s show. Um, it’s called Diners, Drive-ins and Dives, not Gourmet Restaurants! When he grills steak, he puts them all on the grill at the same time, takes them all off at the same time, uses the same amount of heat across the entire grill, then points out which one is my medium-rare steak. BUT he is in charge of anything seafood that comes into the house: rock crabs, lobsters, fish, clamboils. I don’t even go near the kitchen when he’s cooking seafood. And seafood being my number one food love, it’s all worth it!
 
Don 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:28 am
Hi, WE basically have allocated jobs but fill in for each other as necessary. It's her kitchen BUT everything in it is Mine. Fair --no???. BUT seriously, I do all the cooking --- 90% of the grocery shopping -- and dry up. That's my roe. "She who must be obeyed" - does the washing- house cleaning etc. I walk the dog and tidy outside. BUT, the kitchen is my domain. and She likes it that way. hope helps your crusade. cheers.
 
Don 
Oct. 4, 2013 8:29 am
Hi, by the way --- nice blog. cheers.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 9:38 am
Well said, Doug. My husband rarely cooks anything these days leaving that to me, but he cooked pepper steak and chicken fajitas the first weekend I came to visit him in Wisconsin. They were his specialties, and I still love them. He does help with chopping and peeling whenever I need it, though, or stirring a bubbling pot while I'm busy with somethign else, and that's appreciated. I can send him to the store with a list, but it has to be very specific. And I don't quite understand that...he's been to the store with me hundreds of times. How can he not know what I mean by some things? But the staples..he's pretty good with those. We recently began cutting out all wheat due to a health condition he was just diagnosed with, so he'll have to learn all over again now. Sigh... And on a final note...you are absolutely right. Men DO need to learn their way around the kitchen and grocery store. And on the flip side, women need to learn their way around the hardware store and know how to do the basic "men" things, too. I lived on my own for 18 years before I got married and while I'm much better with knife skills, I can handle a saw or hammer pretty darn well, too. But that's another blog for another time... :)
 
Oct. 4, 2013 10:18 am
I guess I am an all purpose woman. I know my way around the hardware store, have my own bucket of tools in the house. I do most of the painting, help hang drywall and moldings, move furniture, and whatever else needs doing. He won't let me cut grass though since I tend to blow up the mower. He doesn't let me drive his truck much either since I usually catch them on fire ;(
 
Oct. 4, 2013 12:42 pm
Fortunately I'm not a "Clueless Kitchen Husband" and according to my wife I do a pretty good job in the kitchen. I might add that the wife is a mighty good cook herself and knows her way around a hardware store. She has her own tools, including power tools. I'd like to think that there are more men cooking than what is percieved here. Who knows, with MTR closing and moving here maybe more will show up.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 1:08 pm
Good blog, Doug. As you know I am married to No Baking Papa - he is also No Grilling Papa. I failed miserably at proper training in the early years and systematically established the kitchen as "my turf" - his early blunders were met with ridicule instead of "good try honey!" I shop mid week, in the morning. The professional shoppers know the 'rules' of the markets - Saturday or god forbid, Sunday before the football games start is ameteur hour. I don't mind helping people find what they need but I don't like the looky loos. The other evening I saw a man taking pictures of various spices and sending them to home base for approval. He was obviously striking out. I finally asked him if I could help him find something - "Where is fresh basil? She said it has to be FRESH basil, but I don't see one that says FRESH." I think he actually blushed when I said, "It would be in the produce dept." Yes, I escorted him to the produce dept and showed him the basil. I may have saved their marriage.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 1:51 pm
Hi Doug! Hubby and I work together in MY kitchen. You are so right - the kitchen is the wife's domain - at least in our case. Jon does know his way around my kitchen and likes to share the cooking duties. He'll even help with dishes once in a while. I don't like to send him to the store - he views that as social time - that's where he meets up with everyone and he's gone for hours; while I'm at home waiting for that certain ingredient needed in the dish I'm preparing. Then, when he finally arrives he has not only what I wanted but jars and jars of things like pickles, olives, specialty mustards, seafood, meats, and goodies from the in-store bakery! I think I have 3 jars of stone-ground mustard right now in my cupboard.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 2:10 pm
Doug, love the rant. In my life all the women should NOT be in the kitchen. My Mom seems to think any mixture of spices can go into any dish if she likes the smell of the spice and totally ruins meals. I appraise her for trying new things, but she better stick to the recipe. My soon to be wife is not allowed in the kitchen. Not because she can't cook, because she throws a temper tantrum everytime something doesn't turn out for her (99% of the time). The reason is, she cooks everything on high and has no concept of time. I'll ask her when she put something in the oven, her response "?". She can cook perogies, that's about it. I've been in the kitchen since I started eating solid food, but still learning new things every day.
 
Bibi 
Oct. 4, 2013 4:17 pm
Excellent advice, Doug! No one is born knowing how to do laundry, cook, change a diaper or a tire. These are skills that can be LEARNED. It's best not to become stranded lacking any of them.
 
donnam 
Oct. 4, 2013 4:24 pm
Well, Doug...you know me...I get "vocal" once in awhile. :)
 
Oct. 4, 2013 4:55 pm
Hi Mary C. - Classic BF "cooking" with those frozen delicacies. I almost remember those days...Guy Fieri is a poor excuse for a cook & a heart attack just waiting to happen...and a classic seafood dish was my first culinary hook when I was dating. Couldn't do much else but Scallops in a Vermouth Sauce but it seemed to work. Have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 4:57 pm
Hi Don & Thanks - I like the sound of that arrangement you have. You sound like the anti-clueless kitchen husband. Have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:13 pm
Hi & thanks wisweetp - I feel you on your husband's not "knowing" where to find things in the store. It's a lot like not knowing where you are going when you take the same drive every day. How is this possible ? And my girls have tools and so does my wife but it seems to be me that winds up using them more than they do. I think this needs to change. Have a great weekend
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:14 pm
Trucks catch on fire when you drive them sassyoldlady ? This might be that time for a blog for another time....
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:16 pm
Hey bd - yeah, this blog does not apply to you but I will admit, I am "trolling" for those silent men that do know how to cook as well as for those men that proudly say that they don't know how to cook. Have a great weekend.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:29 pm
Now let's talk about what DH really means. I'm of an American League team (Twins) and yet have never liked the DH idea. The only reason I like interleague games is so I can see real baseball!
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:44 pm
Still E!..... love that comment! DH mentioned in a blog while watching my Braves!
 
Oct. 4, 2013 5:46 pm
Very cleverly worded & truthful blog! I agree with it all.
 
Oct. 4, 2013 6:24 pm
My father would have subsisted on bologna sandwiches for the rest of his life and never complained had a woman not put a hot meal in front of him. My hubby was raised in a European household with very structured roles. We managed to get past all that. My issue with having him try to cook was that he refused to follow, or even look for directions. He saw women around him cook from memory and thought he could too. He wouldn't ask for directions while driving either. But I loved him and it worked out. Now, my sons.....I made sure they knew the basics how to do laundry correctly, kitchen basics, reading a recipe, how a vacuum works. It is all what you make it.
 
Bibi 
Oct. 5, 2013 3:07 am
These children are proof that cooking can be learned. http://www.fox.com/masterchef-junior/
 
Oct. 5, 2013 9:14 am
I grew up in a family where both parents worked, and there were NO specific gender roles. My father probably cooked more than my mother, and you would see my mother mowing the grass as often as my father. And once the kids were old enough, each did his/her own laundry. Husband grew up in a traditional family with gender roles very clearly defined. His mother actually would cook different veggies for each person to keep them happy. We never started that way and will never end up that way. We work as a "team" on just about everything, and although I now do most of the cooking, my husband assists in any way that he can. And when I was working and traveling, he was cooking for himself, not going out for dinner or calling for delivery. He certainly is not clueless in the kitchen. I took a 6-week cooking course last year, and there were 5 women and 3 men...that was encouraging to me! Enjoyed your blog, points well made.
 
Oct. 5, 2013 11:20 am
Loved your blog, Doug! But for this DW, I much prefer that DH stay the heck out of my kitchen unless I am out of town. I'm still looking for three utensils after my last trip. Unless I put anything he is likely to want in my absence at the very front of the fridge shelves, he will conclude we are out and go to a restaurant. And forget clean-up help. I literally have cookware from my first marriage that is used all the time and still looks brand new. That's because I thoroughly clean every piece after use. Let DH cook one breakfast and I'll be cleaning the remnants from the cooktop and pans for days. I'll find grease splatters in places I did not think were accessible by flying debris. And the cookware and utensils will look like they belong in the box labeled "FREE" at the next garage sale. I taught our son to cook and he does great. Unfortunately, DH did not have that kind of support. His mom did all the kitchen stuff because it was "women's work." He was off with the menfolk hunting the main dish more often than not. So I can't blame him and don't. I just keep him out of my domain and thank the Lord I had the good sense to marry someone who would not want to share my kitchen. If ever I have to make that choice again, we'll have to have two kitchens. In all fairness, I have to add that I built him his own outdoor kitchen a couple of years ago. If I could convince him that the outdoor fridge should hold more than just beer, I could solve the problem of him cooking for himself when I'm not here. In the meantime, he gets to make cocktails and drive the shopping cart on the rare occasion he joins me at the market. Anything else, he can go outside and grill. Just like a proper caveman. :-)
 
Oct. 5, 2013 12:40 pm
hi doug. the wife is welcomed in the kitchen and grocery shopping as long as she can WATCH me. she's decent in the kitchen as the clean-up crew. dh is such a joke...desiginated hitter rule stinks and always has. go braves!
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:17 am
Good Morning BN - I have been that man taking pictures in the store but it's usually in the hair product aisle and the pictures are going to my daughters. Love the story. My gender thanks you for the help. Have a great day
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:19 am
Good morning Mother Ann - it sounds like your husband is an impulse shopper like I am. I have to admit, there are some cool sounding products out there that are very similar that I just have to have. My wife & I counted last night, 6 different kinds of balsamic vinegar. Have a great day.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:23 am
Poulinator - some things just have to be done and banning someone from the kitchen for repeated offenses is tangential to today's topic. My mother-in-law cooks everything on high too but somehow she has mastered it along the way. Happy cooking, thanks for stopping by & have a great day.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:25 am
Good morning Bibi & thanks - I try my hardest to make sure my girls know "boy things" and my son is being forced to learn "girl things" from his sisters. And I watched a few minutes of Master Chef Junior and wow, those kids can cook. Put me to shame. Have a great day.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:29 am
Good morning still emeralds - I hate the DH too but think about how many more HR's Harmon Killebrew could have had if the DH had been in from the beginning ? So what do you think of the playoffs so far ? I was loving that Pittsburgh Black Out.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:29 am
Good morning & thank you scootersandi - it was fun to write too. Have a great day.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:32 am
Good morning BigShotsMom - sounds to me like you knew what you were doing with the men in your life. Everyone should know the basics in everything we do. There isn't always an "app for that". Have a great Sunday.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 3:35 am
Good morning lutzflcat & thanks - it sounds like you have a great arrangement at home. When left to my own devices at night, I usually rustle up something out of the leftovers dirtying as little as possible, (I still hate doing dishes, pots & pans). I did takeout too often in my early 20's to do it now. Hope you have a great day.
 
Fyne 
Oct. 6, 2013 9:26 am
My DH and by DH I really mean darling, shares the kitchen equally with me. He is well aware that his active duties in the kitchen, grocery store and elsewhere around the house doing chores means less on my plate. This in turns means a less tired wife/mother of his children which means more bow-chica-wow-wow.
 
Oct. 6, 2013 10:49 am
Doug, you give me a moral dilemna in bringing up Harmon Killebrew re the DH! In childhood (really young, girls sports as now known only beginning) he was my role model because my biggest contrib when playing was the long ball. Rod C's steals of home and flirting w/ .400 were exciting, but a HK homer follow-through photo (fold-out, so size of entire calendar) from a MLB calendar is what I still have. For him to always be so classy and then deal w/ his pending death w/ such dignity, hard not to choke up, but even there he helped us all out. Harmon Killebrew was so much more, so it's easy to decide he didn't need the DH role. Tony Oliva and the DH, however, that's one I'd rather not have to comment on....
 
Oct. 6, 2013 11:13 am
Take on playoffs: rather than be depressed at all the ex-Twins out there, my AL allegiance is all-out behind Jim Leyland (and by extension Torii Hunter and of-'91- Twins-glory-and-home-boy-pride Jack Morris).
 
Oct. 7, 2013 6:15 am
Good morning KAT - I know my wife would love the idea of 2 kitchens because she says I take over a little too much at times even though it's HER domain. It does sound like you have a good deal worked out at home provided you never leave. Have a great week.
 
Oct. 7, 2013 6:20 am
Good morning gderr - Braves are going to have to wake up if they want to see Turner Field again. Good luck today
 
Oct. 7, 2013 6:21 am
Good morning Fyne - as Phil Robertson would say, "There is a lot a man will do for a little honey on his biscuits" - hope you have a happy happy happy day...bow chica wow wow
 
sunidais 
Oct. 7, 2013 9:33 am
OK, gonna thow my 2 cents in here. I think mothers (and fathers too if they have any know how) should make sure their boys know how to cook! That way, their wives don't have to "train" them and they can survive without eating takeout or depending on a woman to eat. Just like I would teach my daughter how to change a tire and oil in the car so she doesn't feel like she has to depend on a man for her transportation!
 
sunidais 
Oct. 7, 2013 9:39 am
Oh, and also, I think a lot of men have the Ray Romano attitude. "I really don't want to cook so I'll just make something really bad and make a really big mess and I'll never be asked to do it again." Unfortunately, it works!
 
Oct. 7, 2013 10:39 am
Good afternoon sunidais and your two cents is welcome here any time. I agree with you completely. My mother taught me to cook so I would never have to depend on someone else to cook for me and my kids are learning too. My 13 year old got a "CHOPPED" basket of ingredients for our dinner last night and she did alright. I did go back for seconds.....and I will admit, I pulled a Ray Romano once upon time on one of my wife's sweaters that worked for about a year. I do laundry now....have a great week and thanks for stopping by.
 
Oct. 7, 2013 9:02 pm
Wow. You actually ended up emasculating men more thoroughly than a "DH" from some simple house frau ever would have. I enjoy cooking for my wife and family, and honestly few things give me more satisfaction than watching them enjoy something I've worked to prepare. My wife wouldn't refer to me as "DH" because she isn't a condescending harpy. But I'm glad I read it, it affirms my presumption that most married men are one of two things; ham-handed clumsy dolts deserving of being called dumb husband, or sappy apologetic pansies losing a decades long, incredibly one-sided battle.
 
Oct. 8, 2013 4:55 am
good morning heetskillet and I appreciate your stopping by. I will admit that while my tongue, as always, is planted firmly in cheek, I am offended by the stereotype that is perpetuated by the DH tag. Like you I love to cook for my fmily and nothing brings me greater joy than seeing the plates come back empty with smiles on their faces. I used food to win over my wife so I am no fool in that regard but I do get more than a little frustrated when someone says to me, "Oh, you actually do some cooking ?" Their husband may be a ham-handed clunsy dolt but don't paint me with that brush. So yeah, I gave it to the guys in hopes that maybe a few guys will step up & shake off the DH mantel they have been given by their darling wives. Have a great day.
 
MikeM 
Oct. 10, 2013 10:49 am
Just read your posting and most of the comments. Entertaining! I've been cooking since I was a young boy, mostly because I love to eat and my mother was very busy (lots of siblings). I actually enjoy being in the kitchen and help my wife frequently. I don't cook meals as often as I used to, but I certainly help often, and I am the main dishwasher. Incidentally, the night I proposed to my wife, I baked her some home-made lasagna, all from scratch (except the pasta). How could she say no to that? It's still her favorite dish!
 
Nov. 30, 2013 7:03 pm
My other half is retired, and I am still working, so he makes his own lunch. We often do kitchen chores together after supper. When he had a heart episode two years ago, I did the farm chores for the six weeks he could not. When I had surgery, he cleaned the kitchen and fixed the meals until I was able to do so. We plan to remodel/enlarge our (too-small) farm kitchen, and he will offer comments and ideas. But the final decision is up to me. He would no more try to over ride my decor decisions than I would try to tell him where to build the stairway to the loft in the garage.
 
Apr. 13, 2014 10:39 pm
My husband couldnt cook when I met him, his freezer was full of frozen dinners. He still can't to an extent, but it's fine with me. He works, I don't, so I do as much as I can, and I like to cook, and I take care of everything. When I broke my ankle, he went to the store himself and make my recipes, with a little help. He had never cooked and made my recipes like I would. So I don't understand why people can't follow recipes, lol.
 
 
 
Click to Change your Profile Picture
Doug Matthews

Home Town
Princeton, New Jersey, USA
Living In
Mendham, New Jersey, USA

Member Since
Mar. 2000

Cooking Level
Expert

Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Stir Frying, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Southern, Healthy, Kids, Quick & Easy

Hobbies
Gardening, Reading Books, Music, Charity Work

Links
 
 
ADVERTISEMENT
Go Pro!

In Season

Labor of Love
Labor of Love

End summer with a bang with festive Labor Day recipes.

Healthier Lunches for Kids
Healthier Lunches for Kids

Send them to school with good-for-you food that’s tasty, too.

Subscribe Today! Only $7.99
Subscribe Today! Only $7.99

Delicious recipes, party ideas, and helpful cooking tips! Get a year of Allrecipes magazine for just $7.99!

About Me
My mother decided early on that her sons would never have to rely on someone to feed them so we all learned to cook at an early age. I really started to branch out when I moved out west to Denver, SF & Dallas. Combine that with extended business travel to Louisiana & my growing love of spices and you get a real mix of flavors.
My favorite things to cook
Love to make cajun food with my favorites being crawfish pie, alligator stew & alligator chili - I go nuts on Super Bowl Sunday
My favorite family cooking traditions
We didn't have a lot of traditions per se but you could count on pancakes or waffles on sundays - dad making scrambled eggs twice a year on christmas morning & mother's day - veal parmagiana on christmas eve, Thanksgiving with Grandma Matthews and any menu of your choice on your birthday. We weren't a spicy family so I learned a lot of good strong basics in the kitchen from Mom that I have carried over into my cooking today.
My cooking triumphs
I love to experiment with variations of dishes I try around the country. My biggest success is here on allrecipes where I had 2 recipes published in the same cookbook - Southwestern Turkey Soup & Curried Carrot Soup. I think my corn muffins are a great starting point and my alligator chili has become a much requested Super Bowl favorite.
My cooking tragedies
There have been a few times in the past where I tossed everything and took everyone to a restaurant instead. I'm not too proud to say my cooking is awful when it really is.
 
Argentina  |  Australia & New Zealand  |  Brazil  |  Canada  |  China  |  France  |  Germany  |  India  |  Italy  |  Japan  |  Korea  |  Mexico

Netherlands  |  Poland  |  Quebec  |  Russia  |  SE Asia  |  United Kingdom & Ireland  |  United States