Dancing With The Stars 3.28.11 - Swampy's Kitchen Blog at Allrecipes.com - 229576

Swampy's Kitchen

Dancing with the Stars 3.28.11 
Mar. 29, 2011 11:39 am 
Updated: Apr. 22, 2011 11:45 pm
(Normally I don't post non-food related blogs here on AR but it was suggested that there was enough "Cheese" in this show to qualify)
You clicked on the link so now you have to say it with me - “Hi, my name is (Insert Name Here) and I am addicted to Dancing with the Stars.” There, now don’t you feel better ?

Yeah, neither do I.

It is Week # 2 and we were live from the (Insert Potential Corporate Sponsor Name Here) Ballroom in . Last week we saw Kirstie Alley twinkle her toes like Fred Flintsone in a bowling alley while Ralph Macchio turned back the hands of time and the two unlikeliest stars jumped out to an early lead. Here in week 2, the stars all danced the Quickstep & the Jive. I can’t tell you which is which but I can tell you that both dances gave us tremendous potential for sloppy footwork.

Brooke Burke took the satellite dish that was attached to her waist last week and had it stretched into a very nice form fitting number that squeezed her so tight that her hair expanded into a Snooki-Pouf.

Sugar Ray Leonard answered the opening bell with a little more confidence than last week. He looked more like the Comeback version of himself than the Championship version. His partner smartly kept herself between the judges  & Sugar Ray as much as she could but Carrie Ann Inaba pointed it out best when she said that when Sugar Ray was boxing, he was crisp. There has been no snap to Sugar so far in this competition.

Kendra Wilkinson was next and she literally looked like a deer in headlights. I really thought she was going to crack and completely lose it as she listened to the judges. And Chesticles ? Really Len ? She will stick around this week but she isn’t going to make it to the end.

Chelsea Kane was next and you knew there was going to be trouble with Len as soon as they came down the stairs during intros in their ridiculous costumes. You have got to hand it to Bruno when he said they looked like “Marcel Marceau Desperately Seeking Lolita in A Clockwork Orange”. (I wonder if he wrote that line during rehearsal himself or if he bought it from Bruce Vilanch ?) It was actually an entertaining dance that they should have been able to get away with but Len obviously forgot to eat his bran cereal & Carrie Ann surprisingly piled on. I still think that despite being a Disney product, she is going to have some trouble with fan support. The previous Disney stars on the show have either been male or headliners and little girls tend to vote for the cute guys and the stars of shows. played opposite the Jonas Brothers and I bet there will be some built in tweenage resentment toward her for that. Mark got away with his annual bad choice because there are still a good many stumblefoots on the show.

Next up was Chris Jericho and our first surprise of the night. It was obvious that Chris had now properly assessed his surroundings and his challenge. Anyone who has watched the son of former New York Ranger not so great but somewhat fondly remembered, Ted Irvine, at any time during his wrestling career knows that Chris knows how to play to his audience. It also helps that he has one of the strongest partners in the competition in Cheryl. was looser all over while his feet were cleaner. He tied for the top score of the night and then proceeded to make sure that his smiling mug was in the background of EVERY interview given in the celebraquarium.

Petra Nemcova was next and she was wearing a hat that covered her supermodel face. She also briefly wore a dress that covered her supermodel body. What she was left wearing could have fit in her partner’s pocket had she wished to discard those accoutrements as well. Len pointed out that once the dress came off, we noticed her very long legs which led to us to also notice the feet at the end of her very long legs and the judges noticed her feet too. She was stiff everywhere but her rather bodacious top. The costume department is going to have more than their hands full trying to contain both & Kendra this season.

’s sentimental choice, Kirstie Alley, was up next. She surprised everyone last week by channeling Jackie Gleason and moved effortlessly around the dance floor. Tonight she is met with a dance that had the potential for her to be cardio-hell. She started strong but not as sharp as last week and started to wane in the final third of her dance. I think Maks threw in the kiss at the end to help distract from her dance. Kirstie is paying for the extra weight right now. If she can continue to lose weight during the show, she could keep herself at or near the top of the leaderboard. She also is going to garner huge support from the viewers if she does lose weight as “” will want to see her win her latest weight battle.

Next up was Psycho Mike Catherwood and I feel sorry for his partner Lacey Schwimmer. She had a potential winner last season in Kyle Massey but they ran into the sentimental buzzsaw that was Jennifer Grey. Pyscho Mike has no moves, no chance and no fan base outside of wherever his home base radio station is located. He was obviously the sacrificial lamb that they needed in order for the stars with potential to have a first elimination safety net in case they stumbled. I will be stunned if he isn’t gone tonight.

Romeo danced next and I don’t know what the judges were watching but it looked to me like all he did was run around the floor. His feet seemed to drag & slide and nothing seemed precise. My wife & I were somewhat stunned when his scores tied him for the top right after I commented on the fact that he danced like his dad. Chelsie will carry him a long way since she is probably the hardest working choreographer and she seems to connect with Romeo. I still think his ultimate weakness will be fan support.

Wendy Williams danced next and I went to take out the garbage. I had no interest in watching her. I don’t care how big a following she may have from her TV & radio shows, she is as mobile as a parking meter. She will live to dance another day but there is no way she gets past the second elimination.

The Karate Kid was up next and this week he went for a different toupee (obviously someone in hair at ABC got fired for whatever dead animal was perched on his head last week) and white shoes. He still looks younger now than he did as Daniel-san but in the rehearsal clip, he moved like an old man. I wanted his kids to call him out but they were probably afraid that Daddy would hit them with a crane kick. As for the white shoes with the black outfit, well it does draw attention to your feet so the feet better be in the right spots or it will be very noticeable. They weren’t in the right spots enough to equal last week’s score but they did keep Ralph & Karina in first place overall (not counting the all important fan vote).

Finally Hines Ward came out to close out the evening. As he stumbled around the stage I commented to my wife on how a 6th round draft pick from would have no problem covering the former Super Bowl MVP if he moved like that on the field. So imagine my surprise when Hines & Kym tied for the top score of the evening with Jericho & Romeo and moved themselves into 2nd place overall. Hines will have the NFLPA behind him but he is going to need a little more personality to get behind him. Steeler Nation can only wave so many Terrible Towels.

So who’s going home ? I will be stunned if it isn’t Psycho Mike Catherwood. Wendy Williams should join him in the Bottom 2 but I wouldn’t actually be surprised to see either Sugar Ray Leonard or Petra Nemcova standing next to them. Luckily I have a meeting at school tonight so I won’t have to watch the results show or the Chris Brown performances. I wonder if Robin Roberts will be sitting in the front row tonight ?

Until next week, when I won’t get to watch until I get to my hotel room in on Tuesday night and only if the Wi-Fi is a solid five bars…swampy abides

Mar. 29, 2011 11:59 am
Thanks for the update. I didn't get to watch last night. My husband hates the show and I spared him having to set thru it this time. I draw the line when it comes to American Idol. I don't miss that one.
Mar. 29, 2011 12:05 pm
Hi char - glad I could be of help. I too draw the line at American Idol, I haven't watched since America voted for Taylor Hicks
Mar. 29, 2011 1:19 pm
I may be declared un-American, but I manage not to watch Dancing, Idol, Survivor etc. Now, I can tell you that Guy Fieri took the show to nearby Williston Park, NY and ate at Hildebrandt's. And he seemed to love it. I was excited because it was a favorite lunch spot when I worked at a nearby hospital.
Mar. 29, 2011 1:33 pm
Oh Doug! Say it ain't so:( oh, well, I suppose we all have our vices. It might even be possible that, if all the crime shows disappeared from prime time, that even I might succumb to visiting the "celebraquariuam." As it is, I really shouldn't judge someone else's preferred forom of mindless entertainment...seeing as how this Lit/Comp professional has been known to disappear into the books of such folks as J.D. Robb and Richard North Patterson. Enjoy the down time:)
Mar. 29, 2011 3:19 pm
Still wiping the keyboard off from the snorted evening bevvie. Loved your blog!
Mar. 29, 2011 3:34 pm
Not Un-American at all BigShotsMom - if you look back in my blogs to last summer, you will find my visit to a Guy "Heart Attack Waiting To Happen" & DDD favorite, The Red Iguana in Salt Lake City. He was on the money with that one.
Mar. 29, 2011 3:36 pm
Hi Mangel - we are all entitled to our guilty pleasures - I read the paper, pay bills & recycle magazines all while making snarky comments out of the side of my mouth while I watch with my wife. It all goes back to Mondays watching Melrose Place together
Mar. 29, 2011 3:38 pm
Sorry Cat Hill - can I get you another wipe ?
Mar. 29, 2011 3:40 pm
lol - that just made me laugh doug....melrose place. my hubby and i used to watch that together! haven't thought about that for YEARS! thanks for the trip down memory lane....
Mar. 29, 2011 3:45 pm
Doug, Doug, Doug - it must have been a slow food day for you to watch - I can't even say it - - and I thought you had saved yourself when you took out the garbage - but alas, you were drawn back into that brain-sucking black wormhole. Please redeem yourself by posting a blog after the Top Chef finale. As for next week, repeat after me - "I will take out the garbage - and stay there. I will take out the garbage - and stay there." We won't discuss my vices - which would include "chick flicks" and anything topped with chocolate.
Mar. 29, 2011 5:18 pm
I get the feeling you could write an entertaining blog about anything you set your mind on...I found your recap of the show far more entertaining than the original airing...looking forward to your next topic...p.s Monday Melrose but did you do the 90210?
Mar. 29, 2011 6:41 pm
Dancin with the stars? Doug, I need to introduce you to NHL hockey...
Mar. 29, 2011 7:09 pm
Hi njmom - glad I could bring a smile to your face - thanks for checking in
Mar. 29, 2011 7:12 pm
That's a deal luv2cook - I promise to write something about the Top Chef Finale this week. I am surprised that Mike Isabella got there but I think they had the season in mind to be "Richard's Redemption Tour". As always, a lot is going to come down to who they get as a sous chef and how much input that person has on the final dishes....and Tuesday night is trash night here in town so I missed the results show
Mar. 29, 2011 7:13 pm
Thanks ellie - me & my roomful of drunken monkeys with laptops try our very best....and sadly, no 90210 for me.
Mar. 29, 2011 7:15 pm
Good evening Raedwulf - On June 13, 1994 I was sitting in Section 203, Row C, Seat 2 when Gary Bettman handed the STANLEY CUP to Mark Messier and ended 54 years of frustration for NY Rangers fans like me. I'm still a season ticket holder. Hockey is in my blood.....
Mar. 29, 2011 11:05 pm
As an avid hockey fan (and watcher of DWTS) I am horribly jealous that you get to have season tickets to the Rangers. :o) I've only seen the Rangers once, in St. Louis years and years ago. So much fun!!
Mar. 30, 2011 4:55 am
Glad to see you posted this here Doug! :)Fabulous!!! and may I add a small comment about the NHL - if you were there when Gary Bettman (aka the WEASEL) handed the Stanley Cup to Messier, why the he!! didn't you throw something at him??!!! I can not STAND what that man has done to hockey since he became the Commissioner...now THAT...is another long story worthy of a blog someday...maybe... and another sidebar - looking forward to the Top Chef Finale as well! I am glad Carla left this week - she has not been a fav....going to be interesting that's for sure!
Mar. 30, 2011 4:55 am
There have been recent years Kristen B. where those tickets have been almost more of an emotional burden than they have been worth but we have great sitelines so...who is your team ?
Mar. 30, 2011 4:58 am
Good morning Gitano - gary bettman worked for the nba before he came to NHL - I think he was sent to the NHL as a spy and his mission was to ruin hockey - unfortunately I couldn't throw anything at bettman back in 94 because I was crying too hard to see straight...Team Richard all the way - my wife is on Team Mike
Mar. 30, 2011 5:07 am
(and good morning right back at ya!) Well Doug, he has definitely accomplished the task at hand (Bettman)...I stopped watching hockey several years ago because of what he has done to the game.... I don't really have a fav for Top Chef out of who's left...but it should be good! I would hate to have to face the Judge's Table...they SCARE me! :D
Mar. 30, 2011 5:21 am
Gitano - I have met Tom Colicchio and stood next to Padma - i got all sweaty and it wasn't just because it was August in NYC.
Mar. 30, 2011 5:31 am
??!!! YIKES!! :D I would too! (that must have been way cool though to meet them...)
Mar. 30, 2011 5:43 am
I got to be a diner at Restaurant Wars in Fabio's original season. His team won but the food was awful.
Mar. 30, 2011 5:51 am
is that the luck of living so close to the action? :) nothing ever exciting happens 1 hour west of Toronto... :D
Mar. 30, 2011 6:03 am
I actually bought the dinner at a charity auction - just like I bought my visit to iron Chef last summer
Mar. 30, 2011 10:19 am
My Doug - you do live an interesting life. What charity auction are you attending that has tickets for the food shows? Maybe they have a website and I could put in a bid or two. And I'm Team Richard. Ever since that episode where Mike took one of Richard's ideas and won the Quickfire, I put Mike in the salamander and left the heat on high. But I agree with you - it will depend on who they chose as sous chefs and how much input other cooks have on the final dishes. If Richard stays true to his ideas and tastes, then he'll do fine. He definitely has the passion, ideas and drive to own a restaurant - plus I like the fact that he balances that with a family life. It will be an interesting show - looking forward to your blog and the comments that will ensue.
Mar. 30, 2011 10:46 am
The Top Chef item came from a school auction and the Iron Chef came from a non-profit theater benefit. If it's food related, I try to buy it - just like I bought this at last year's auction http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aHxR_b5nNk
Mar. 30, 2011 1:45 pm
You are tooooooooo funny!
Mar. 30, 2011 1:45 pm
And have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands!
Mar. 30, 2011 2:38 pm
Man! That is the LAST time I follow a YouTube link from you, LOL. You really do have too much time on your hands!
Mar. 31, 2011 10:44 am
I agree w/ ellie...you make anything entertaining to read! However this particular blog had me...you hit the nail on the head w/ the reviews! I love DWTS, but I may actually look more forward to your weekly reviews should you continue!
Mar. 31, 2011 12:01 pm
Hey Doug, great blog! I have only started to watch DWS since the last season....I agree, Wendy needs to go! My son said to me" Is she even moving her feet?" She's annoying and can't take criticism even though she gives it! I'm love my girl Kirstie, always have..fat or thin she's got my vote! Keep it up bud, you brightened up my day!!
Mar. 31, 2011 12:17 pm
Thanks Brooke129 - I may have to miss or really abbreviate this week because I am going to miss monday's show and will be driving from Nashville to Lexington on Tuesday night but you never know.
Mar. 31, 2011 12:19 pm
Hey dragonfly22 - good to hear from you & thanks - Wendy may make it a little further than we would like to see her go solely on the basis of fan support from her radio & TV gigs
Apr. 1, 2011 12:07 am
Hey, Doug! My hockey team is the Blues...I know, I'm expecting to get some flack for that (I always do! haha). I don't think they have made the playoffs in forever. I just keep remembering the good days of the later 90s-early 2000s. On a good note - my school (Wichita State) just won the NIT tournament tonight!!
Apr. 1, 2011 4:51 am
What are you ashamed of Kristen B.? My Rangers just got beaten and beaten badly by the dreaded fishsticks. The high hopes of a 5th place finish are gone. Now we are just fighting for our playoff lives.
Apr. 1, 2011 9:14 pm
GREAT blog Doug. I swore off DWTS when Cloris Leachman was repeatedly spared the hook by the viewers. My mom was pi$$ed when Palin's non dancing daughter kept getting voted back on week after week. I am old fashioned....I want the best dancer to win and compete week after week. Guess we (me and mom) are a couple of bitter old wahines LOL Now I will be waiting for you to guest "dance" on DWTS. Now that....I would watch LOL
Apr. 1, 2011 11:52 pm
Not ashamed at all, Doug. :o) Hockey isn't really big around here so whenever I do run into someone that likes the sport their teams are always more of the bandwagon teams (Detroit, Dallas, etc.)...or those are the bandwagon teams here anyway. Maybe it's different in other parts of the country. lol Good luck in making the playoffs! I've always liked the Rangers.
Apr. 2, 2011 3:59 pm
i don't know why but i've never watched dwts. this year i am more interested because of kirstie alley. your blog is really funny - i enjoyed it and i don't even know most of the players. thanks :)
Apr. 3, 2011 5:55 am
Hi Doug This review really helps me catch up. I have missed the first two "episodes" of DWTS because the painting class I take gets me home too late and sleepy to drive to friends' house where we watched all of last season and they got me hooked. I do not get TV at my house. I watches some next day video highlights on the computer but until now I have not found out the background on all the "dancers." My friends think I am getting too far behind and insist I get there on Monday night. I am making a fine dessert to bring. It's a better version of Boston Cream Pie. I think I'll call it Oxford Cream Pie (we live in Oxford, NY). The sponge cake is layered with lemon custard. The chocolate topping/glaze is exceptionally rich and thick. It's a make in advance kind of thing because I still have to get from class to their house with the cake before the show starts. Hope I can stay awake. I loved this blog summary of DWTS. Hope you keep it up. Maybe you could include a new recipe or cooking tip for the All Recipes fans?
Apr. 3, 2011 12:03 pm
Hi Doug I stumbled on your blog by chance and enjoyed it. I'm up here in the frozen north supporting basement dwellers The Oil. Our big moment was sticking it to Vancouver last night. Not looking forward to the re-match on Tuesday when Idoubt we will be singing the same song. I'll be checking in soon to see your next perspective on DWTS!!
Apr. 4, 2011 5:56 am
Hi Mauigirl - I am only going on DWTS if I get Kyn Johnson, Edyta, Lacey or Chelsie as my partner (really narrowed it down, didn't I ?)
Apr. 4, 2011 5:57 am
Thanks Kristen B - that win over the flyers yesterday was HUGE for my Rangers but now they need to beat the Bruins tonight - I hate playing for 8th place every year
Apr. 4, 2011 6:01 am
Thanks pennywon - Kirstie is my sentimental choice - I loved her on Cheers
Apr. 4, 2011 6:03 am
Good morning Fox and thanks for the idea - I normally don't make anything other than a plate of leftovers for the show but perhaps I could pick a dish that each dancer inspired on the night ? You may have just kept this blog going...thanks...I think
Apr. 4, 2011 6:05 am
Fritz - I feel your pain - like i said to Kristen B up above - I am tired of playing for 8th place every year....have a board meeting tonight followed by a 6am flight tomorrow - I probably will have to combine Monday & results all in one late Tuesday night
Apr. 4, 2011 6:40 am
I think "a dish a dance" is a great idea; have at it!
Apr. 4, 2011 6:44 am
How about this: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Huge-Scary-Spiders/Detail.aspx
Apr. 4, 2011 7:27 am
Thanks swchef and that dish immediately gets assigned to Wendy Williams for the rest of her stay on the show
Apr. 4, 2011 9:05 am
Great blog as always, Doug. I wondered if anyone else noticed that awful dress Brooke Burk was wearing. I thought it may have been my wide-screen TV playing tricks with my eyes!
Apr. 4, 2011 9:14 am
Hey PointerSister - Brooke's hair & dress are the first thing my wife comments on every week. She is only wrong when she thinks Brooke is showing too much skin.
Apr. 4, 2011 12:35 pm
Where IS Edyta this season?????
Apr. 4, 2011 8:37 pm
DM: You need to consider a career as a writer! I don't watch much TV, but after your description, I'm thinking about tuning in to DWTS.
Apr. 22, 2011 11:45 pm
Love your blog, Doug! You should really freelance as a writer! You have a real talent.
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Doug Matthews

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Princeton, New Jersey, USA
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About Me
My mother decided early on that her sons would never have to rely on someone to feed them so we all learned to cook at an early age. I really started to branch out when I moved out west to Denver, SF & Dallas. Combine that with extended business travel to Louisiana & my growing love of spices and you get a real mix of flavors.
My favorite things to cook
Love to make cajun food with my favorites being crawfish pie, alligator stew & alligator chili - I go nuts on Super Bowl Sunday
My favorite family cooking traditions
We didn't have a lot of traditions per se but you could count on pancakes or waffles on sundays - dad making scrambled eggs twice a year on christmas morning & mother's day - veal parmagiana on christmas eve, Thanksgiving with Grandma Matthews and any menu of your choice on your birthday. We weren't a spicy family so I learned a lot of good strong basics in the kitchen from Mom that I have carried over into my cooking today.
My cooking triumphs
I love to experiment with variations of dishes I try around the country. My biggest success is here on allrecipes where I had 2 recipes published in the same cookbook - Southwestern Turkey Soup & Curried Carrot Soup. I think my corn muffins are a great starting point and my alligator chili has become a much requested Super Bowl favorite.
My cooking tragedies
There have been a few times in the past where I tossed everything and took everyone to a restaurant instead. I'm not too proud to say my cooking is awful when it really is.
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