A Kahuna Sized Rainy Friday - Swampy's Kitchen Blog at Allrecipes.com - 197962

Swampy's Kitchen

A Kahuna Sized Rainy Friday 
Oct. 1, 2010 7:47 am 
Updated: Oct. 9, 2010 7:39 am
It’s Friday. It’s raining. I am pushing far too many papers around on my desk. My mind is starting to wander and my fingertips are twitching.
During our trip to Maui last spring, thanks in no small part to the efforts made by my darling swamprat daughters, who have never met a store they couldn’t shop in, we accumulated enough frequent shopper points for me to get a new travel coffee mug for my car. It’s kind of cheesy in a fun sort of way in that it has a 60’s style surfer and an old Woody station wagon on it. It’s not just big. It’s Kahuna sized. It holds 50% more than my old Iditarod mug that a friend picked up for me in Walsilla. (I guess they were sold out of Sarah Palin mugs) So now I am knocking back even more of my Community Coffee w/ Chicory & Café Bustelo Combo on the way to my morning train. I don’t think anyone is going to want to get in my way. It also got me thinking and as we all know, that can be a dangerous thing at times.
If I ever owned a restaurant or a diner, I would have to have something on the menu that had the word “Kahuna” in it. It could be Kahuna Ribs or a Kahuna Burrito or a Kahuna Burger or even some Kahuna Pie  which would have to have slices about 8 inches high and be at least a quarter of the whole pie. I could have the servers asking patrons if they wanted to “Kahuna size” their purple molokai sweet potato fries. I could also have a “Kahuna Khallenge” and invite Adam Richman from “Man vs Food” come in to take the “Kahuna Khallenge” and make me a cult favorite with foodies & gluttons everywhere. I can just see it now – “Swampy’s Big Kahuna – home of the Kahuna Khallenge”.
Now Kahuna could also be a great word to be used in a coffee shop. No more of that pretentious Venti or Grande . The largest cup you could get would be a Kahuna. I can just hear it now. “Dude, gimme a triple skinny no foam soy Kahuna frappuccino.” WHAT DID YOU SAY ?!? I would throw that person right out of the shop. Nobody needs to use that many words to ever order a cup of coffee. Triple & Kahuna would be the only extra words allowed to be said. I would even hire a HUGE EMPLOYEE and dress him up like a GIANT TIKI and have him stand by the cash register so he could enforce the rule. Kahuna Kona Koffee Ko. would rule the koffee world and Starcrooks could kiss my Kahuna sized butt !!!
Okay, I think maybe someone has had a few too many kahuna sized schooners of koffee this morning so I am going to have to say that this the view for now from Swampy’s Kitchen. Come back next time when we talk about where I ate now that I am getting back on airplanes again next week.
Oct. 1, 2010 9:28 am
LOL. I'd definitely buy coffee at a shop like that. With the much needed rainy gray day I just want to sit here and read and search for a new recipe for dinner. Enjoy your new travel mug.
Oct. 1, 2010 9:29 am
Enjoy the rain. We did down here in D.C.!
Oct. 1, 2010 10:21 am
Too funny! Being a former resident on da island, I seem to remember that someone may have stolen your idea :) I get over fairly often to work and I always hit my fav places and yep, most of them have kahuna sized meals. Unfortunately that can contribute to a kahuna sized b&tt.
Oct. 1, 2010 11:00 am
Hey GoodFood - glad you spent some of your rainy day here - thanks for stopping by
Oct. 1, 2010 11:01 am
The rain is off & on now Dog Fish Head aka Fabius - at least the trains are back on schedule. I wonder how soon before I can leave work for home ?
Oct. 1, 2010 11:03 am
Aloha mauigirl ! If they stole my idea, it wasn't in Kihei....or did I steal their idea ? oops
Oct. 1, 2010 11:26 am
LOL - very funny blog! I like your ideas!
Oct. 1, 2010 11:31 am
Thank you Mother Ann - your first Kahuna Koffee is on me
Oct. 1, 2010 11:31 am
Great blog! I'd love to eat at your Kahuna Kafe! I'd probably need a doggy-bag, though, unless you'd also serve Wahine-sized meals ;-)
Oct. 1, 2010 11:39 am
Mahalo Keri - We could consider a "Wahine Hour" or maybe you could order off the keiki menu B-)
Oct. 1, 2010 1:03 pm
If I go to starbucks tomorrow Im going to order a Kahuna Chai...Ill let you know how that works out for me :) LOL. Mm...kahuna fries.....
Oct. 1, 2010 1:07 pm
I could go for a Kahuna Chai right about now Jenwee99 and maybe a Kahuna slice of pie too
Oct. 1, 2010 1:17 pm
Great blog, I have Kaluha pig in the slow cooker! I have about 14 and 1/2 hours left!!!! We got hammered by the rain and we were in a tornado watch. They sent the kids home early from school yesterday and declared a state of emergency in Lancaster County. So I was thinking some place sunny and said why not Hawaii??I like the idea of the BIG KAHUNA !! But the big guy you hire has to look like the cook from the movie 50 First Dates,ya know the guy with tattoo on his face. I'll go for a piece of Kahuna coconut creme pie!!! YUMM!
Oct. 1, 2010 1:28 pm
I mean I have Kalua Pig in the slow cooker, not Kaluha! I must need a drink, Kaluha and cream anyone!?
Oct. 1, 2010 4:28 pm
You are always making something I want to eat dragonfly22 - have a great weekend
Oct. 1, 2010 4:55 pm
Are you ready for a Kahuna Size Coffee Mug? Made by an outfit called "Bubba", it is a one liter size mug. When I finally see the bottom I'm wired enough to be in six places at the same time. No, I don't fill it at "Starcrooks". I have a Keurig single serve coffee maker that takes five cycles to fill the mug with "Newmans Own".
Oct. 1, 2010 5:25 pm
Mike - that is not a Kahuna sized mug - that's a King Kamehameha mug. I bow down in your general direction.
Oct. 1, 2010 7:01 pm
There's a dude on Front St. in Lahaina down at the wharf mall that looks like the guy you need. He carves tikis and he is one fierce looking bruddah.
Oct. 1, 2010 7:18 pm
I think I know who you mean mauigirl - he fits the bill
Oct. 2, 2010 7:14 am
I wouldn't want to mess with anyone who packs carving tools or even worse...machetes. YIKES!
Oct. 8, 2010 6:18 am
LOL! Great blog!!!
Oct. 8, 2010 7:08 am
Thank you Cat Hill - glad you found it
Oct. 8, 2010 4:19 pm
Too funny! There's a Kahuna Coffee shop down the street from me and I live in Michigan!!!
Oct. 8, 2010 10:27 pm
DM: You are too funny! To get through this nightshift, I'd like to order my own Kahuna sized coffee, but please don't skimp on the kaffeine.
Oct. 9, 2010 1:20 am
I enjoy reading your blogs, Doug. Well, alright, I've read 2...but I did enjoy them! (I'm kind of new to reading the blogs here.) ~~~~~~ You need a sign for your kitchen which says something like: The Big Kahuna Cooks Here...and then maybe add something ominous...like: Snitch morsels at your own risk, or drink the last coffee..., or whatever you are known to not want to happen in your kitchen. Thanks for the fun read!
Oct. 9, 2010 7:37 am
Already a Kahuna coffee shop in Michigan roset ? That can't be ! Is the coffee good ? Thanks for stopping in.
Oct. 9, 2010 7:38 am
Hey bikerfamily - I'll make sure to toss in an extra couple of espresson shots for you
Oct. 9, 2010 7:39 am
Hi PlumFairy1 - we do have some Kahuna Sized Gators around this kitchen and they wind up in the chili when they slack off. Thanks for reading & stopping by
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Doug Matthews

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Princeton, New Jersey, USA
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Mendham, New Jersey, USA

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About Me
My mother decided early on that her sons would never have to rely on someone to feed them so we all learned to cook at an early age. I really started to branch out when I moved out west to Denver, SF & Dallas. Combine that with extended business travel to Louisiana & my growing love of spices and you get a real mix of flavors.
My favorite things to cook
Love to make cajun food with my favorites being crawfish pie, alligator stew & alligator chili - I go nuts on Super Bowl Sunday
My favorite family cooking traditions
We didn't have a lot of traditions per se but you could count on pancakes or waffles on sundays - dad making scrambled eggs twice a year on christmas morning & mother's day - veal parmagiana on christmas eve, Thanksgiving with Grandma Matthews and any menu of your choice on your birthday. We weren't a spicy family so I learned a lot of good strong basics in the kitchen from Mom that I have carried over into my cooking today.
My cooking triumphs
I love to experiment with variations of dishes I try around the country. My biggest success is here on allrecipes where I had 2 recipes published in the same cookbook - Southwestern Turkey Soup & Curried Carrot Soup. I think my corn muffins are a great starting point and my alligator chili has become a much requested Super Bowl favorite.
My cooking tragedies
There have been a few times in the past where I tossed everything and took everyone to a restaurant instead. I'm not too proud to say my cooking is awful when it really is.
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