A random act of love?
Jul. 31, 2009 8:06 pm
Updated: Oct. 17, 2009 11:34 am
I've been with the claire since sunday, pretty much 24-7 for the past 6 days. it's been an amazing discovery of self-discovery...for her and myself. she has progressed and somewhat taken a step backward. it always seems that way. i want her HERE now. the shepherd center is incredible! everyone here is so supportive, just unbelievable compassion. i hope if you have a loved one that they are admitted here. good news: she can now walk, have cognitive thoughts, and talk. bad news, always bad news i hate bad news! her cuminden level is still elevated (they will not remove her feeding stick until levels are satisfactory), her trach had been capped since monday but now re-inserted then replaced with the plug....she can speak again. she was very discouraged...she believed it was a step backward. in my heart i thought so too. she can speak again, in her "own" voice. her mind is very interesting, she can answer almost any jeopardy question (as normal pre-stroke) but says she cannot do simple addition, subtraction, etc. she has changed---she no longer eats sweets and has a sense of humor. strange behavior. she seems like she is searching inside herself. i know she is, i give her time. it's depressing to me to watch her "search", i know what is happening but it's still frustrating to watch. i try not to help her. she is an amazing woman...such determination and grit! i'm in awe of her. so strong! i;ve seen horrible/ incredible things here. i've seen a 16 year old kid here directing his wheelchair by blowing in a tube. i've seen a girl maybe 35 coming back in a motorized wheelchair, with elderly parents, coming back in to give thanks and bring cookies to her care-givers (gosh i hate elevators,) everyday i was there a volunteer, usually in a wheelchair, came by claire's room to see if they could help with feeding my wife. i made sure claire was fed and then went down , if i could, to the lunchroom to eat. one day, i think tuesday, i counted 19 wheelchairs there. all younger folks than claire. i felt i had entered a place that i did not belong. i walked in. i ate , cried, thought of the people in their wheelchairs and imagined stories of what life is like for them on the outside. i cried some more then left. my wife will walk out of there! she does not remember her first 5 weeks after the stroke. she is doing great. life has dealt us an opportunity to help others and i intend to use the chance to try and make a difference in my community . please help others , a random act of kindness perhaps...or more you decide what you can do. hug your loved ones!