Worst Caulking Job Ever - Lightly Toasted: Chronicles of the Friday Night Cocktail Club Blog at Allrecipes.com - 176743

Lightly Toasted: Chronicles of the Friday Night Cocktail Club

worst caulking job ever 
May 24, 2010 7:53 pm 
Updated: May 25, 2010 12:10 pm

A simple project, really--caulking the bathroom tub. But I think I was doing a couple things wrong. For one, you should push it like a snowplow; I was pulling it like a locomotive.

SLS walks into the bathroom, looks at the tub, and then at me. I'm covered in chalky caulk. I look like I'm made of paper maché.

She says, "Hmm. How do you feel about a couple martinis?"

I feel pretty good about a couple martinis.

I hand her my smoothing tool and go to work.

Patience is the key to my martinis. (Patience is probably also the key to caulking the bathtub, but that’s a lesson I am yet to learn.) I shake the ice first, you see; it shatters the big cubes; and then I let the gin, dry vermouth, and a shake of orange bitters sit for a moment in the broken ice. The smaller sherds of ice melt, softening the edges off the gin. Then I stir and pour. Stirred, and it's clear as a glass of cold water. Tonight, I drop in a vermouth-addled cocktail onion and twist in a slice of lemon peel.

In the meantime, SLS has taken a cloth and smoothed out the gloppy chunks and wiped away the wicked smears of my caulking job. In fact, it's perfect. It's what I was aiming for but couldn't quite hit.

"Beautiful," I say.

I hand her a cold, clear martini. We work as a team.

"...you make bathtime lots of fun."
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May 25, 2010 5:12 am
Cute post! I'v never tried adding orange bitters to a martini...sounds good!
May 25, 2010 7:35 am
i used to work at a real estate company in the rental department and one of the owners came in and was mad about the condition her house was in and mainly it was about the dirty chaulk in the bathroom, and she was yelling at me about the dirty chaulk and showing me pictures of the dirty chaulk, except she wasnt pronouncing it chaulk, she was pronouncing it like the rooster. i was trying my very hardest not to laugh, but it was uncontrolable laughter in the office when she left.
May 25, 2010 10:50 am
mix a drink and caulk away
May 25, 2010 12:10 pm
Great, now I've got "rubber ducky" stuck in my head. Wonder if a martini at lunch would take care of that...
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About Me
My wife and I and our two devilish kittens live on Capitol Hill in Seattle. A few years ago, I got a masters in gastronomy. I'm a food/wine writer. I’m also blogging about cocktails.
My favorite things to cook
We cook fairly simple dishes using fresh local ingredients that we pick up at the Seattle farmers market. My favorite thing is making a nice slow-braised or long-roasted something on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I like cooking with wine (in the dish and in the glass...and in the cook).
My favorite family cooking traditions
My mom never liked to cook, but she did well despite herself. Her mother, my omi, was from Munich and made delicious rouladen, sauerbraten and other traditional German and American dishes. Always bins and bins of home-baked cookies at Christmas. Wonderful rye bread. And beer. Opa would say, "Brotzeit ist die beste zeit."
My cooking triumphs
We’ve made the signature timpano dish from The Big Night a couple times. And for Thanksgiving 2007, we made Turducken. My wife and I are always volunteering to cook the big holiday meals with the family. We mix a signature cocktail, and get down to it.
My cooking tragedies
I made Thanksgiving Dinner for myself once when I was snowed-in in Denver. I nearly burned down the neighborhood.
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