as a child i was a highly trained and skilled trapeze artist in a family of circus clowns. i grew to be the star of the french circus. known on stage as l'étoile brillante, my seltzer squirting siblings became jealous of my talents and conspired to kill me during one sunday matinee. le diable the fire eater, my secret love and true friend, overheard my family as they plotted to cut my ropes. he determined that very moment to hide me safely away from those red-nosed, big-footed traitors in the country.
it was during my new life on the farm that i discovered that i was a natural at the cow's teet. the joy of my new found occupation lead me to yodel the sweetest song one has ever heard. this was a song so angelic it made the cows give sweet cream the very moment i pulled up my little 3 legged stool and took a yank.
to this day i enjoy a bucolic lifestyle, picking daisies and weaving them into delicate chains which i gently place around the necks of local livestock and small weiner dog
My favorite things to cook
i love to grill anything fresh, fresh veggies, steaks, fish, fresh fruit. i have a friend who is the only person i know who can make a better steak than me. i think of him as my grilling sensei.
i make pancakes with a secret ingredient (shhh...ricotta cheese). i hate cooking with bad stuff like corn syrup, canned or processed food. i just discovered how easy it is to cook fresh apple sauce.
i think it's super important to get the best ingredients like all free-range hormone and antibiotic free meat and dairy. organic veggies, a third of the year i grow as many of my own as possible. this year, i'm expecting a bumper crop of heirloom tomatoes. i have 7 varieties. last year was a big eggplant year, so i learned how to make baba ganouj.
My cooking triumphs
i just made tetrazzini off this site. it was insanely delicious. every steak i have ever grilled has been perfection. i just made wasabi mashed potatoes with wasabi in a tube from japan, not the powdered stuff. crazy yummy. my best discovery was gluten free pasta made from quinoa. it's not just a great substitute, it actually tastes way better than regular flour pasta. i make paninis like a madman.
My cooking tragedies
i don't have much for cooking tragedies, just occasional new recipes that come out bland. i did bust an electric glass stove top once while boiling water in a pot. i forgot i was boiling the water until i smelled burning in the kitchen. when i went to look, the pot was red-hot, actually red-hot. so i turned off the stove and panicked. i poured cold water directly into the pot and with a loud pop the glass stove top shattered.