Through The Darkest Valleys: Changed - Home on the Range Blog at Allrecipes.com - 305019

Home on the Range

Through the Darkest Valleys: Changed 
 
Jun. 22, 2013 12:42 pm 
Updated: Jul. 7, 2013 6:58 am
"The Lord God, in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing"  Zeph 3:17

Pain ebbs and flows. Emotions vacillate between hope and discouragement. Time marches on, with no respect for the days that are lost.

Small accomplishments, doing the morning dishes, shaping a loaf of bread, bending down to turn on a hose, become mighty.

Plans made, lists made up then set aside, there won’t be any chores done today, not when you can’t get up or use your hands. That baby blanket you’ve been meaning to crochet has been on hold for months, it’s almost too late now.

Others pass by the window, talking, laughing, spur rowels making metallic noise along the odd stones on the driveway. The sound of hooves stepping in a trailer, a motor roars to life and you are left behind again. There won’t be anymore trips to the desert or out on the range. A tear escapes and tastes salty on my tongue. Were there really ever better days? Did I really used to ride, run, laugh, play? I am not the person I had dreamed I would be now. This was not even on my radar.

Tiny setbacks take my breath away, there is only so much I can handle. One more sick animal, one more challenge, one more difficulty, one more demand...it’s enough to send me into flight mode, but I can no longer flee.

Painfully easing myself down I hear His voice beckoning. I pick up His word and His promises remain. Peace flows over me like water and I am reminded He cares and is in complete control. He has His reasons and I don’t need to understand, just to be, in His presence. Recently someone brought up the point to me that He sings. The Bible says He rejoices over me, with singing. We won’t just be singing to Him, but we sing WITH Him. All things are with Him, if we just stop to look and listen. 

The pain begins to flare and in my minds eye I can see Him, hands nailed to rough wood, arms dislocated, body beaten to a shredded pulp. On a cross His broken form stares down at me in love and says “Join me. I will carry the load, you only need know a little of the price I paid for you to understand my love”. Pain is diminished and purpose is born.

Gratitude takes up residence in my heart once again and I am changed by His words.

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and light unto my path." Psalm 119:105
 
Comments
Jun. 22, 2013 1:16 pm
Petey I have read this twice and each time I get a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat. My friend if only I could be close by to lend a hand or give you a hug. Your strength amazes me and my life is richer for having met you. God bless you as he wraps his arms around you. Know that you are not alone. We walk side by side each day.
 
petey 
Jun. 22, 2013 1:25 pm
Thank you Rosebud, and I pray your daughter is doing better, or at least finding strength to endure
 
Jun. 22, 2013 5:51 pm
It would seem she is having a hard time adjusting and accepting the fact that she has this disease. She is a bit bitter and I am sorry she has chosen to see things this way. I know she will come around. I'm sure its quite an adjustment. Please be well, know that you are loved and respected.
 
petey 
Jun. 22, 2013 7:13 pm
Rosebud, it is so hard to bow down to this disease. It's like grieving a death, because hope for life as it was is over. It will take time, just support her, support her decisions and let her come to terms with it in her own way.
 
Bibi 
Jun. 22, 2013 8:31 pm
petey, I know your life has not turned out the way you thought it would, but I can certainly testify that you are letting your light shine. I am so thankful for the wisdom you share so generously, and I appreciate that your pearls are dearly bought. Blessings.
 
petey 
Jun. 22, 2013 9:07 pm
Thank you Bibi, what a neat sentiment
 
Jun. 23, 2013 3:05 am
Petey, so sorry that your not feeling well, but you don't let it keep you down. You are one strong women. Take good care.
 
Jun. 23, 2013 8:04 am
Petey, not a day goes by that I don't think of you. I pray that pain free days are ahead for you. You are a breathe of fresh air to this old soul. Living your life with an attitude of gratitude is inspirational. Blessings dear sister!
 
Jun. 23, 2013 8:06 am
BTW, the photo of the butterfly above is a "FRAMER." Simply beautiful and inspirational itself.
 
Jun. 23, 2013 3:36 pm
Oh, Petey, read your post with tears slipping over the rims of my eyes. I know that was not your intent, but it hits home just how many people are suffering in a true physical sense, who can't get up and go for a walk to shake it off. Did you ever think perhaps God has chosen you to be an ambassador of the strength we all have inside us if we'll just let it rise up? You never seem to feel truly abandoned, you look for Him and He shows Himself to you, and by posting on here you are reaching and touching so many of us. God bless. Praying for pain free days ahead to allow you to enjoy the simple pleasures you seek in life.
 
Jun. 24, 2013 3:28 am
God has chosen you to witness to all of us...you are such a pillar of strength and hope. It is said that God never gives us more than we can handle and you are a living testament to this. Blessings, dear one.
 
petey 
Jun. 24, 2013 8:53 am
Thanks so much, all of you. If anyone can take away some encouragement from my life, that makes me really happy. I have found, however, that God OFTEN gives me more than I can handle...but never more than He can. I think that is the whole point of adversity, teaching us to lean on Him. :)
 
bett 
Jun. 24, 2013 5:02 pm
Petey, you may never know how many people you touch with you writings ,and how inspiring your words are to many of us. What a blessing in the way you remind us all that God will take care of us even if we can't understand his purpose, or the reasons why. May he keep you wrapped in his loving arms.
 
petey 
Jun. 25, 2013 8:59 am
thankyou, bett
 
NMBarbara 
Jun. 26, 2013 10:56 pm
Dear beautiful lady, we have never met but I too lean on God and His word each and every day. I became ill at 42 with a 2 year 4 year old daughter. My weakness was displayed through a long grieving period of approximately 3 years. My biggest regret and loss has been my inability to play outside with my daughter as she grew. But God has provided other ways for me to express myself. I can't think of any other way to experience such personal growth. I love life! Blessing to you.
 
petey 
Jun. 27, 2013 7:14 am
and you NMBarbara! Thank you for taking the time to stop by!
 
Jun. 27, 2013 10:50 am
My heart breaks for you and others who must endure so much physical pain in this life. Thank you for reminding us so eloquently of what Jesus willingly endured on the cross so that we might have eternal life with Him. I pray for daily blessings for you because of His faithfulness as you continue to walk with Him. I grew up in a small "cow town" in northern California (really northern, like two hours north of Sacramento, and I am a country girl at heart. Your wonderful farm photos are blessings to me. I'd rather live in a place like that than in a town, but so far it was not meant to be. I am thankful to see photos and praise God for His beautiful creations!
 
petey 
Jun. 28, 2013 3:50 pm
thank you 4givnCyn. It is HIS faithfulness that keeps me going, not my own. I am glad you like the pictures, this is a beautiful place to live
 
Jun. 29, 2013 10:17 am
Wow Petey! I dont usually read blogs, got on to check out a recipe and was intrigued with your Blog Title. What a beautiful soul you are. I will be following you and sending my energy and prayers your way
 
Jun. 30, 2013 12:52 am
Very sweet post. You clearly have wonderful people in your life that love you dearly. Personally, I thinkt that makes all the difference in the world. Family, friends they are such sweet blessings and often and more times than not they are not cherished as they shoudl be and you clearly have an open heart to them. Kindness goes a long way and can soften teh world where cold hearts harden the world and other hearts as well. It's always so nice to see someone that has such an abundance of love, life and all the things that make life so sweet. There are so many that would give all they had for such gifts.
 
Jul. 7, 2013 6:58 am
Your words flow into my soul, give inspiration to me to remember that faith in Him is always what keeps us going through the difficult times. You are blessed, you are loved.
 
 
 
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petey

Home Town
Tehachapi, California, USA
Living In
Princeton, Oregon, USA

Member Since
Jan. 2007

Cooking Level
Expert

Cooking Interests
Baking, Grilling & BBQ, Slow Cooking, Asian, Mexican, Italian, Southern, Dessert, Kids, Quick & Easy, Gourmet

Hobbies
Knitting, Gardening, Hunting, Photography, Reading Books

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About Me
Kids are raised, we are ranchhands on a 250,000 acre working cattle ranch 110 miles from the nearest small town, so we raise a lot of our own food, vegetables, fruits, milk,eggs and meat. Love riding and working cattle, but find myself spending a lot more time in the kitchen, and the garden. forpeteysake.blogspot.com http://throughthedarkestvalleys.blogspot.com/
My favorite things to cook
Having 2 Jersey cows as well as milk goats, playing with fresh milk is a hobby, making our own butter, yogurt, sour cream, cheeses, soap and all the other great stuff you can do with fresh raw milk.
My favorite family cooking traditions
Homemade from scratch...anything! All traditions are sort of gone by the wayside, as we live so far from family now
My cooking triumphs
Most things from this site, this has been the best thing the internet has had to offer!
My cooking tragedies
A layered Jello dessert...the middle layer never set, so it did the 'ooze-wiggle'...and...well..I liquified a couple of chickens on 2 different occasions, turning them into a black gel. Moral of that story is, don't start cooking then go clean barns!...and there was the time that my kids were helping me make Thanksgiving dinner and SOMEbody (who resembled my youngest son) forgot to put the sugar in the pie!!!
 
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