Movie Menu: "Pineapple Express"

Dale (Seth Rogan) takes a break from his not-all-that-busy day as a process server to visit Saul (James Franco) and, uh, do a little business. Saul introduces Dale to Pineapple Express--the high point of the day--then the afternoon takes an unfortunate turn when Dale leaves to serve a subpoena to one Ted Jones (Gary Cole), but witnesses him committing murder instead. In an effort to get the heck outta there, Dale drops the Pineapple Express in the street, then crashes into several cars as he tries to drive away, making Ted well aware that his crime has not gone unnoticed.

Convinced Ted will connect the dots from the rare Pineapple Express, to Saul, to himself, Dale returns to Saul's apartment and insists they go on-the-run to avoid getting picked off themselves…which would pretty much be, like, the ultimate buzz-kill. 

Scientist: Private Miller, you've been smoking item nine for seven minutes and 13 seconds. We're going to ask you several questions. How do you feel?
Private Miller: Ah well sir, I feel like a--like a slice of butter...melting on top of a big-ol' pile of flapjacks...yeah.

Dale Denton: No! No, no! He could find the roach and say "It's Pineapple Express in here! Saul! He's the only guy who has Pineapple Express!

Dale: I'm sorry, that sounded really mean...just to hear that, that sounded really mean.
Saul: No, I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale: What? That's not even...a figure of speech.

Red: Why don't you follow his lead and just chill out, man?
Dale: I'm chill. I'm chill as a cucumber, man.
Red: You don't seem chill.
Dale: I'm more chill than you.
Red: You're more chill than me?
Dale: Yeah.
Red: Look what I'm wearing. Kimono, dog. What're you wearing?
Dale: A suit.
Red: Yeah, exactly. I don't know what's up with you, but I don't know if I like you.
Dalen: Well, I don't know if I like you either, man.
Red: Well, that's your loss 'cause I'm a great friend.

Dale: How can I explain this to you differently? The battery is dead. It ceased to live. It's deceased now. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
Saul: [frustrated sigh] How did this happen?
Dale: Well we clearly fell asleep with the battery on and...
Saul: Aw, man...Talk radio?
Dale: Yes, talk radio.
Saul: So boring, man! The car just committed suicide.

Dale: Couscous--the food's so nice they named it twice.

Dale: Anything we might need: Snacks! Food! Fruit Rollups!